


All Over Again

by karenec



Category: Twilight (Movies), Twilight Series - All Media Types, Twilight Series - Stephenie Meyer
Genre: Alternate Universe - Human, Friendship, Human, M/M, Romance, Slash
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-06-01
Updated: 2013-06-27
Packaged: 2017-11-06 12:44:27
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 65,898
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/419051
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/karenec/pseuds/karenec
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Judged Best AH in the 'Remember When This Was Fun' contest. </p><p>Prompt No. 10: You'd be surprised what you can do with a well-placed thumb. </p><p>Edward and Garrett, AH, Slash. M for language and lemon zest.</p><p>Banner: http://bit.ly/Jq3C2H</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> One-shot written for the 'Remember When This Was Fun' contest.  
> http://www.fanfiction/u/3826985/RememberWhenThisWasFun  
> This one-shot was judged Best AH in the contest. w00t :D*throws confetti*
> 
> Prompt No. 10: You'd be surprised what you can do with a well-placed thumb.
> 
> Thanks to my pre-reader, Discordia81, and beta, SUNFLOWER3759, and to amber2310 for banner advice.
> 
> Note that this is a slash story. Boys liking boys, and that kind of thing. Rated M for language and lemon zest.
> 
> This is my first time writing slash and I really enjoyed it.
> 
> Thanks to the contest organizers, sadtomato and SingleStrnd (MyLifeandHis).

 

_You'd be surprised what you can do with a well-placed thumb._

That was the slogan printed on Edward's t-shirt when I walked into Masen's. I sat at the bar, loosening my tie, and smiled. Just seeing Edward and the cheeky words on his shirt brightened my mood.

It was Friday night and Masen's was bustling with customers and noise. The bartenders were in constant motion behind the bar, working hard to keep up with the crowd. Matheus was loading glasses into the dishwasher while Jasper filled drinks for a knot of businessmen. And Edward was popping beers for the bikers in the corner under the flat screen.

I listened to the music that was playing while I watched Edward work. Watching Edward was something I never grew tired of, even after three months of coming to the bar once or twice a week. Edward was beautiful.

A smile transformed his face when our eyes met and heat crawled over my cheeks. Edward's face was pink from exertion and his blue t-shirt clung to the planes of his body as he walked toward me, pulling a full bottle of Booker's from behind the bar.

"Hey, Garrett." His eyes crinkled with his smile as he poured two fingers in a glass and set it down.

"Hey," I said and nodded at his shirt with a smile. "Do I want to know where your thumb has been?"

"Nope." Edward grinned before slowly lifting his right thumb and licking it deliberately.

I rolled my eyes at him before we both burst out laughing.

"Wasn't sure I'd see you here tonight," Edward said when we'd recovered.

"You almost didn't," I confessed. "I was all set to go home and watch the game-"

"But somehow you found yourself here." The corner of Edward's mouth turned up.

I chuckled and picked up my glass. "Something like that, yeah."

"I see how it is." Edward's eyes narrowed playfully. "You're here to ogle Matheus, you silly man, just like everyone else. Behave yourself and I'll ask him to take his shirt off and show you his gun."

My face flamed and I laughed at Edward's teasing words. Matheus took his shirt off during every shift, which meant that everyone had seen the beautiful tattooed gun on his side with the muzzle trailing below the waist of his jeans.

Edward frowned as he looked at me. "I'll bet you haven't eaten. Let's get you a sandwich. What is it with you and the fasting?"

"It's not intentional," I protested, "I don't always have time."

We flagged a pretty waitress named Malice, who took my order while Edward went back to work. He drifted back frequently, refilling my glass and chatting with me while I ate and slowly relaxed. When Edward was busy, Jasper tended my drink, waving me off when I tried to tip him. The other waitresses, Bella and Bree, tried to tempt me with lewdly named shots, like the Slippery Bald Beaver and Sex on My Face. And Matheus... ignored me. He gave me a faint smile when he first saw me, but otherwise avoided my end of the bar.

I felt puzzled as I watched the handsome Brazilian. Unlike Edward and his coworkers, Matheus had never shown me any warmth. At best, he was reserved with me, and had been from our first meeting. And lately his dark eyes seemed strangely hostile when they met mine.

My uneasy thoughts fled when the raucous sound of _Do The Rump_ filled the bar. Edward's swearing was audible over a chorus of whoops while Jasper and Matheus pulled him toward the middle of the bar. He gave in, smiling and pink-cheeked as he moved with the music and the bar erupted in cheers.

We egged Edward on, catcalling and roaring when he raised his arms and shook his ass. Bella let out a loud wolf-whistle that made Edward laugh, and the crowd sang along and stomped their feet, pounding the bar and tables with their hands. It was two and one-half minutes of silly, sexy fun, and we couldn't get enough.

Too soon, the song was over, and Edward was waving off requests to dance again. Matheus pulled him into a hug, grabbing his ass and making him laugh. A sharp, familiar feeling of longing spread through my chest when Edward pressed a kiss against his lover's neck, and I looked away.

"I hate that fucking song," Edward said, and I heard the smile in his voice.

"No, you don't," I replied, drawing a shaky breath before looking up. "You'd ban The Black Keys if you really hated it."

Edward refilled my drink with a snort and turned his eyes to mine. His face fell at my expression. "Gar, are you okay? You look really pale."

"Just tired," I blurted, closing my eyes. "I had a shitty week."

It was true. I had been working sixteen-hour days and hardly eating. But I welcomed the punishing schedule as an effective distraction from the clusterfuck of my personal life. I was exhausted and struggling with my composure.

A warm hand covered mine, pulling me back from the edge. I blew out a long breath before looking up to see Edward watching me, his expression soft. He smiled sweetly and waited until I nodded before pulling back.

"Thanks," I said.

"Anytime. Hey, listen; meet me for lunch on Sunday."

"This Sunday?" I asked stupidly. I had never seen any of the Masen's staff outside of the bar and Edward's question took me off guard.

"No, last Sunday," he teased. "Yeah, this Sunday. Jas and I are meeting at Joe's on Long Wharf. The girls'll be there, too."

A warm feeling spread through me, soothing my sadness. "All right. What time?"

"Noonish," Edward said, pulling his phone from his pocket and handing it to me. "Everyone's working Saturday night, so we're flexible with time.

"Give me your number and I'll text you. You're in the North End, right? So you're close."

I saved my number and handed the phone back, giving Edward a dubious look. "Can you get a table? Joe's is crazy on the weekends."

"We have connections," Edward gloated, pocketing his phone. "Bella's brother is the sous-chef at Joe's and he saves a table for us."

We both looked up when Matheus called Edward's name.

Edward turned back to me looking hopeful. "See you tomorrow?"

"I'll be in Hartford all day," I said with a grimace and stood. "And I have to be up early to drive. But I'll see you Sunday."

Edward's smile lit his face. "Get some sleep, Garrett."

ooOOoo

Scanning the patio at Joe's two days later, I spotted Edward's hair glinting redly in the sun. He and Jasper were sprawled in their chairs, hiding behind sunglasses, Sunday papers, and a pitcher of Bloody Marys. Jasper raised a hand when he saw me and pushed a chair out with his foot.

"Mornin'," he said, smothering a yawn with one hand.

"Good morning." I smiled and shook my head when I spotted Edward pouring me a drink. "Dude, you're not working, I can do my own pouring."

"You're welcome, sunshine," Edward replied brightly and handed me the glass. He was smiling impishly and wearing a red shirt with _I'm a Pepper, Too, Damn It_ printed across the chest. "Glad you made it."

"Thanks." I sipped my drink and chuckled when a balled up napkin bounced off my forehead.

"Now that you're here, we can order." Jasper sat up and rubbed his hands while Edward signaled to the waiter. "Thank God for that because I'm about to eat my fucking arm."

We chatted over a seafood sampler, sticking to sports and music, and ordering another pitcher of drinks. Malice and Bella showed up holding hands, looking tired and pretty as they took their seats.

The talk turned to the work Masen's employees did outside of the bar. I had already known that Edward was a freelance writer who also penned short stories. That afternoon, I learned that Malice was a dance major and Jasper a painter, and that Bella was considering following her brother, Emmett, into culinary school. My stories about writing briefs and sitting in courtrooms seemed impossibly dry, but they listened and asked questions anyway, and made me feel included.

They were easy people to be with, and I found myself smiling more as the afternoon passed. I shook my head as they stole food from each other, and my eyes popped when Edward grabbed an onion ring from my plate and stuffed it in his mouth. The others cheered when I retaliated, forking avocado from Edward's salad while he threw more napkins. Bella's brother sent out a cheese plate and bottle of wine when the girls ordered dessert, and we all shared cheese, figs, and glasses of sparkling wine.

"Thanks for asking me today," I said to Edward while Jasper and the girls were discussing seeing a movie. "This is the most relaxed I've been in... shit, a while."

"I'm glad you're here," Edward replied, leaning his head back against his hands. "I've been meaning to ask you. I didn't want you to think I was the sleazy bartender-type hitting on customers, though."

"Not likely. You don't really come across as the type, Edward."

"Good to know," he hummed, tilting his face back to catch the sun.

My eyes followed the long curve of Edward's throat. I imagined that his eyes were closed behind his sunglasses, and the way his long lashes would fan across his skin. _Jesus._ I shook myself mentally, thrown by the sudden intensity of my desire.

"Where's Matheus today?" I asked, catching Bella's glance and the frown on her pretty face before she turned away.

"I'd guess that Matheus is still sleeping," Edward said lightly, though I thought his jaw tightened. "He had a date last night and hasn't turned up yet. Must have been a good time to go on this long."

I froze, taken off-guard by Edward's remark and his casual delivery. He leaned forward, running his fingers along the sides of his glass and gave me an awkward smile before clearing his throat.

"Sorry," he apologized quietly. "I shouldn't have said that. I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable."

"I'm not. You didn't," I rambled. "Make me uncomfortable, that is. I'm... I'm surprised. I thought you two were together."

Edward nodded and took a long sip from his drink. "Matheus and I aren't exclusive, technically speaking. Matheus dates other people and I don't. I guess you could say that we've each agreed to give the other what they want."

"And this... arrangement... works for you?" I was aware that Jasper and the girls had grown quiet, and were watching Edward and me.

Edward's glasses hid his eyes, but his smile was sad. "It works for now."

ooOOoo

Edward turned to me after Jasper and girls headed to the movies.

"I don't suppose you'd want to have coffee with me, would you, Gar? There's a Starbucks on the next block." His expression was adorable and hopeful, and I found myself grinning foolishly.

I raised my eyebrows in challenge. "If you don't mind walking a few more blocks, I'll introduce you to the best cup of coffee in the city."

"Tall fucking order, my friend," Edward said as we fell into step. "You'll owe me Starbucks for a week if you can't pull this off."

Twenty minutes later, Edward was groaning over a cup of strong, piping hot coffee from my favorite cafe. He glared at me over the plastic cup cover when I offered him biscotti, making me laugh loudly.

"Jesus Christ, Garrett, this coffee is amazing," he said at last. "Why the fuck haven't you told me about this place?"

I shrugged and chewed my cookie, smiling at the man on my left as we walked back toward the waterfront. "Coffee's not really bar talk, Edward. Now that I know you're coffee whore, I'll be sure to bring you a cup sometime."

"You're a very nice man," Edward sighed. He accepted the biscotti when I offered it again and hummed appreciatively as he ate.

We found a bench on the boardwalk and sat down in the sun to watch the water. As we sipped and ate in comfortable silence, I realized that I felt happy. My chest ached when I thought how long it had been since I had felt good about something other than work.

"Hey, where'd you go?" Edward asked softly, nudging my elbow with his.

"Sorry," I murmured after a moment. "I haven't had a nice day in a while. It just hit me all at once."

Edward hummed and pushed his sunglasses up onto his head. His nose and cheeks were flushed from the sun, and his eyes looked especially green. He was lovely.

"Want to talk about it? Are you having man trouble?"

I gave a bitter, strangled laugh and clenched my eyes shut as they burned and Edward tensed beside me.

"Oh, fuck," he said, laying a hand on my forearm. "Garrett, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to-"

"No, its okay," I said swiftly. "You're not wrong. I _am_ having relationship problems."

I pulled off my sunglasses and met Edward's eyes as he nibbled his lip worriedly and rubbed my arm. His obvious concern moved me almost to tears.

"Talk to me," he said. "Tell me why we haven't met a Mr. Garrett yet."

I shook my head slowly and licked my lips. "There's no Mr. Garrett because, up until nine months ago there was a Mrs. Garrett. And I'm not talking about _The Facts of Life_."

My voice was quiet but the words were as shocking as a scream. Edward's mouth dropped slightly and his eyes widened. I waited for him to be angry or hurt, even disgusted that I had kept this secret. I wondered if he'd walk away and leave me there on the bench with my coffee cup.

Edward did none of those things. He blinked and closed his mouth before sitting quietly for a moment. His eyes moved over my face and he nodded slowly before he spoke again. "What happened?"

It all came spilling out, my unholy mess of a life. I had known as a pre-teen that I was attracted to both men and women, but kept my desires from my deeply conservative parents. After high school, I had applied to East Coast schools, intent on getting away from Oregon and my family. I relocated to Connecticut for my undergraduate studies and dated men and women with equal enthusiasm, intent on experiencing all I could. For the first time in years, I felt that I was being true to myself.

"There was no one serious until I was in law school," I said, gazing at the water. "I fell in love... fuck, yeah, I did, and with a guy."

I looked at Edward when he made a soft sound of agreement. "People fall in love, Gar, sometimes when we don't want to."

I nodded, seeing support and understanding in the bartender's eyes. "Eli was a year ahead of me. We were good together... and the sex was fucking amazing. We had a lot in common. I just didn't know how much until I was in too deep to keep from getting hurt.

"Eli liked women too. More than guys... certainly enough to leave me for one." I bowed my head and watched my empty coffee cup slowly crumple.

"I never told Eli how much he hurt me. We stayed friends. He and Carmen even invited me to their wedding."

"Why didn't you say something to him?" Edward's forehead was creased with confusion when I looked up and I could only describe his expression as hurt. Edward felt hurt _for me_. "What if Eli felt the same way you did? What if-"

"I thought about it," I said reassuringly. "I went to Eli's bachelor party ready to, I don't know, declare myself. I took one look at his eyes when he talked about Carmen... and I couldn't do it. I could see that he loved her.

"And he does. I hear from them a couple of times a year, and they send me photos of their kids."

"Fucking hell, Gar," Edward said

"No shit," I said with a laugh. "Anyway, I took a break from dating after that. I finished school and took the bar, got a job. When I started dating again, I switched to girls, exclusively. And I met Kate."

"It was fast with Kate, and exciting. I wanted it, the love, family, comfort... being with someone in every way. I thought I could have that with her. My Katie." I closed my eyes as a familiar wave of regret crashed over me.

"I fucked up. I didn't tell Kate that I was bi. In my mind, I had made a choice, so what was the point of telling her about something that didn't matter anymore? God, I _married_ her, Edward, and she didn't know who I really was."

A lump filled my throat, choking me into silence as I fought not to break down. Edward's warm touch on my arm brought me back.

"I never considered that my so-called choice wasn't _right_ for me. That I needed something Katie could never give me." I opened my eyes, watching Edward's long fingers resting on my skin. "I thought about men all the time. I started fantasizing about men, more and more. About Eli, or the guys in my office... strangers. I started cruising past the gay bars in the city."

"Did something happen?" Edward's voice was low, and I knew he was asking if I had been unfaithful.

"No. Yes. I didn't cheat," I said with a sigh. "But Kate told me she wanted to have kids. And... I broke. I just couldn't bring a child into the lie I was telling.

"I told Kate I couldn't be married anymore. That I didn't love her. And I regret that lie because I _do_ love her. It's just not enough." I rubbed my eyes in frustration. "I'm attracted to women, and I still want all of the things I tried for with Kate. But when I close my eyes, I see men. When I dream, it's about men."

"You're gay, Garrett," Edward said softly, and I dropped my hands to meet his wide, honest eyes. "Your body might be bi, but it sounds like your brain is gay."

I couldn't help it: I laughed. This beautiful man had listened to me pour my heart out and offered me the kindest words of comfort, and I laughed. An expression like hurt flashed over Edward's face before he smiled, and then he laughed too.

"My brain is gay," I wheezed out. "I can't believe you said that to me."

Edward knocked his shoulder against mine, glaring at me playfully. "Shut up. That shit was brilliant."

"I'm sorry," I said, knocking his shoulder gently in return. "It was brilliant, just really fucking funny. You're right: I _am_ gay. I had to come to terms with it. That's why I moved to Boston, to get a fresh start."

"So you're out?" Edward smiled encouragingly.

"Mostly. I'm out at work. I've been dating a little," I said and gulped nervously. "And I'm going to tell my family when I go home to Oregon for the Fourth of July. That will be almost a year since Kate and I split."

Edward's smile was brilliant and, I realized, proud. "And Kate...?"

"Yeah, Kate." My guilt pressed down on me again like a weight. "That's why I was in Hartford yesterday – more divorce stuff. I'm going to tell her once everything is signed and settled. She deserves to know that it wasn't her fault that everything fell apart."

"It's not _all_ your fault, Gar," Edward argued, frowning when I waved him off.

"It's my fault that she didn't really know her husband. I should have told her the truth before I moved in with her, before I put a ring on her finger. Kate had the right to decide whether she wanted that side of me too. I let her walk into our marriage blind, Edward, and that was a shitty thing to do."

We sat in silence a while longer before he checked his watch and grunted.

"I have to go - working tonight." The concern was back on his face as he looked at me. "Are you okay? I dragged a lot out of you today."

I took stock of my emotions and smiled. "Yeah. I'm okay. Thanks, Edward."

"For what?" He stood and held his hand out for my crumpled cup.

"For listening to my bullshit," I said, and backtracked when he frowned. "For listening. It was good to talk about it with someone. With you."

"Anytime." He gave me a soft smile as he stepped back. "Coming in tonight?"

I grimaced and shook my head. "Nope. Early meetings tomorrow."

"Then I'll see you later in the week," he said, and winked when I nodded. He turned to go, and then called back over his shoulder. "Don't forget to feed yourself, for Christ's sake!"

ooOOoo

That was the first night I dreamt of Edward Cullen.

I woke with a gasp, my heart racing, and Edward's face still vivid in my mind. I tried to hold on to the details of the dream, but it broke apart and drifted away like vapor. I groaned when I felt my cock lying hard and heavy against me. My eyes closed and I thought of Edward, the way his mouth would taste, and how his body would feel beneath my hands. My hand moved to wrap around my cock and I pictured Edward above me, settling his long limbs between my legs. I moaned, and my hips bucked hard, thrusting into my hand until my bones burned. I shook and gasped and came, biting my lip to keep from groaning Edward's name.

ooOOoo

My friendship with Edward slowly blossomed as the weeks passed. We saw each other at Masen's and had Sunday lunch, but also talked and texted during the week. We met for coffee or lunch when we could, and watched baseball at a dive near his apartment.

I desired Edward, but even more, I liked him. He was smart and funny, and enormously thoughtful and affectionate. I pushed my feelings for him away, knowing he wasn't free to be mine. And though I wanted more, I was happy to have him as a friend.

I was looking for that friend when I walked into the bar in late June. I nodded at Jasper's greeting and felt Matheus's eyes on me as I sat at the bar, realizing only then that Edward was nowhere in sight.

_Fuck._

A glass appeared in front of me suddenly, followed by a stream of amber whiskey. I met Matheus's curious eyes as he poured two fingers of bourbon.

"You don't come in here on Tuesdays, Garrett," he said, setting the bottle aside. "Otherwise, you'd know this is Edward's night off."

I sighed and picked up the glass. "I forgot."

Matheus nodded, and looked at me appraisingly before walking away. I loosened my tie and set out to get drunk.

The bar was quiet compared to other nights, mostly regulars watching the game. Malice and Jasper looked at me curiously when they stopped to chat, though neither voiced their questions. I was content to zone out, letting my thoughts drift and soften under the flow of bourbon and the buzz of conversation and music.

I was into my fourth drink when Edward slid onto the stool next to mine. I blinked at him, dazed by his sudden appearance. "When did you get here?"

"Just now," he said, his eyes moving over my face. "You okay, Gar?"

"Thought you'd be here... forgot about your schedule." I smirked at his green _Han Solo Is My Homeboy_ t-shirt and then frowned. "Why _are_ you here?"

Edward smoothed my hair back from my forehead with one hand. "Matheus called. He said you didn't look so good."

I blinked again, unsure what to make of Matheus's unexpected kindness. "I can't be alone in my apartment right now."

My eyes closed as exhaustion rolled over me. Then I felt a warm hand on my arm, gently urging me to my feet.

"Come on," Edward said. "I'll take you home and we'll talk."

ooOOoo

The ride across town passed in a haze. Next thing I knew, I was sitting on my sofa while Edward made coffee in the kitchen. I had sense enough to notice that my apartment was reasonably neat, with only a few piles of books and writing pads. Edward walked in with a tray and set it on the table in front of me. He handed me a cup and we sipped coffee, while I tried not to slurp or dribble on my tie.

"Gar, what's going on?" Edward's soft-voiced concern made my chest ache.

"I went to Hartford this morning to sign the divorce papers and see Kate. I told her that I'm gay."

"Jesus. How did it go? Was it-"

I set my mug on the table, shaken by Edward's concern. "Awful? Yes. She feels hurt and betrayed, and I understand that. But... I hardly recognized the person that was screaming at me today."

"She accused me of cheating on her while we were married. She accused me of hitting on her fucking _brother_ last Thanksgiving and told me this will permanently damage her reputation. She asked me if she needed to be tested for HIV because everyone knows how promiscuous 'fags' are."

"Shit," Edward murmured angrily. "Are you okay?"

"No. I'm not okay. It gets worse. My mother called this afternoon while I was at work. Kate told my family about me, Edward." I buried my face in my hands.

I felt Edward slide closer and his warm hands on my shoulder and back. "Fucking hell, I'm so sorry. What did your mom say?"

"That she and my dad raised me better than to cheat on my wife. That if I really loved my family, I would choose differently, because that's what good men do." I sighed and my voice wavered when I spoke again. "That they wished I was a drug addict instead, because then I'd have a chance to be _cured_."

Edward's hands disappeared, replaced by long arms that wrapped around my shoulders, and squeezed me tightly. My breath hitched and I stiffened before sagging against him, dropping my hands in my lap. Edward gently pulled me up and back, tenderly tucking me against his side. I dropped my head and to bury my face in his neck as my body trembled.

"I'm sorry your Mom said those things," he said in a low voice, his lips moving against my hair. "I know you wanted to tell them next week when you went home. It must have been a shock for them to find out this way. Give them some time, Garrett."

"I know," I said heavily. "My mom hung up on me and then called me right back, crying that she didn't mean any of it, but that she hoped I'd make the right decision and go back to Kate.

"My dad got on the phone. I apologized for not telling them myself and told him I was changing my flight to Oregon for tomorrow, so we can all talk about this." I swallowed against the lump that filled my throat. "I offered to stay in a hotel if that would make them more comfortable... my dad started crying. I hurt his feelings I guess. Again. _Fuck_."

"Shhh," Edward breathed, rocking me gently back and forth. "It'll be okay, Gar. You'll figure out how to make it work."

"I'm just so fucking tired, Edward," I mumbled, every part of me heavy with fatigue.

"Let's get you to bed." Edward said, urging me up off the couch. "You have to help me find your stuff."

I directed him around the apartment sleepily, my eyes closed as he guided me to the bedroom. I let him help me out of my shoes and work clothes, and watched him empty my pockets on to the nightstand. I climbed under the sheets as he rummaged in the bathroom cabinets and looked up to see him carrying a glass of water and some ibuprofen caplets.

"Are you okay for now?" Edward asked, smoothing my hair back when I lay down.

"Yeah," I murmured. "Thanks for doing this."

"Anytime," he replied gently, his expression soft.

"Edward? Will-" I closed my eyes, my words jumbled inside my head. "Will you stay here? I need... I just-"

"Yes," he interrupted quietly, and my eyes popped open when his fingers brushed against my jaw.

Edward's eyes were burning as he got to his feet. He took my water glass and turned off the lamp before walking around the bed. I closed my eyes, my heart banging in my chest as I listened to him undress. The rasp of the zipper on his jeans and the thump of his sneakers against the floor were loud in the quiet room. I drew an unsteady breath when I felt the sheets pull back and the mattress dip under his weight. And then Edward's warm hand was in mine, anchoring me in the dark.

"Is... will Matheus be okay with this?"

"Yes," he murmured, turning to look at me in the dim light. "Don't worry about that. What time is your flight?"

"Half-past eleven," I said with a yawn, turning to face him.

"I'll make sure you get up," he promised, and I felt his hand on my cheek as I let myself fall into sleep.

ooOOoo

A familiar chiming woke me, and I groaned as I reached for the nightstand to grab my phone. Rolling back, I realized with a pang that I was alone in the bed. Edward was gone.

I felt hollow until I checked my phone and saw that it was a text from Edward that had woken me.

_Promised I'd wake you. Fly safe, Gar. Text me when you land?_

ooOOoo

Edward and I messaged back and forth when we could during my ten days in Oregon. I read his encouraging texts and missed him deeply. His face filled my dreams every night.

After flying back to Boston, the mountain of work that had piled up in my absence kept me from going out at all for another week. I messaged with Edward, and we shared a few short phone conversations, but my schedule was grueling. I was too exhausted to do anything but fall into bed after work.

A chorus of whistles and greetings rang through the air when I finally walked into Masen's, more than two weeks after my drunken Tuesday night with Edward. It was crowded, but I found a place at the bar, and loosened my tie as Jasper approached.

"Fuck, Garrett, we about gave up on you," he teased as he poured two fingers into a glass. "I bet the girls that you'd moved back to Oregon for Christ's sake."

"Bullshit," I scoffed. "I talked to Edward Sunday night. He knows where I've been."

Worry flickered across the bartender's face before he nodded. "Yeah, he might have mentioned that. Ed's been in kind of a funk these last couple of weeks."

I frowned, puzzled by Jasper's words but when I opened my mouth to ask, he winked and turned back to the busy bar. "He's in back changing a keg. Should be right out."

I sipped my drink and smiled when the girls descended on me, alternately scolding and hugging me for being gone so long. We were still chatting when Edward walked back into the bar. My smile faded as I got a look at him, and I felt a prickle of concern.

Edward looked tired and wan. His mouth and jaw were tight, and a pair of black framed glasses obscured his eyes. I took in his plain, black t-shirt, and realized I had never seen him not wearing one of his cheeky slogan shirts. His shoulders were stiff and his movements unfocused, as if his mind was miles away. A slight frown came over his face when he neared Matheus, and I realized that the two men were avoiding eye contact. I watched as Matheus leaned forward to speak in Edward's ear and the way Edward's lips pressed in a thin line as he nodded. He picked up two pitchers and moved toward the taps at the center of the bar, keeping his gaze down.

"They broke up, you know," Bella said quietly. Her brown eyes were thoughtful when I turned to her in surprise.

"When?"

"Before your trip," she replied, nodding when I gaped at her. "I suppose it was a long time coming, but everyone was pretty surprised. Especially Matheus."

My eyebrows climbed up my forehead and Bella answered my unspoken question. "Edward ended it. It's been a little weird here at work, but they'll figure it out."

I turned back just as Edward looked up, his eyes widening behind his lenses when he saw me. I grinned when a small smile crept onto his face, and I felt my heart swelling at the sight. He finished filling the pitchers and delivered them to Matheus, before turning to make his way toward me, his expression brightening.

"And you _finally_ show your face," he said, reaching over the bar to rest his hand on my shoulder. His smile grew when I covered his hand with mine. "It's good to see you, Garrett."

"It's good to be back," I said honestly. "Sorry I've been MIA, I've-"

Edward waved me off with a chuckle. "Stop. I know you've been slammed. And I'm glad you finally escaped for a night."

"No shit," I said, giving his hand a squeeze just as Jasper called his name.

"It never ends," Edward muttered with a wink. He pulled away and turned back to the bar.

"Edward!" I nearly shouted, laughing when he wheeled around in surprise. "It's good to see you, too."

His smile was blinding.

ooOOoo

Edward was scheduled to work until closing, so I was surprised when he walked out from behind the bar over an hour early.

"Bella's taking some bartending classes," he explained as he sat beside me. "We're all donating an hour or two from each shift so she can practice."

"Nice," I said, smiling to see Bella's petite form moving alongside Jasper and Matheus.

Edward chewed the corner of his lip, looking suddenly uncertain. "Hey, have coffee with me? I know you told me how it went in Oregon, but-"

"Yes," I said swiftly, laughing at Edward's wide smile. "You brew this time; your place is closer."

ooOOoo

I leaned against the island in Edward's kitchen and told him about my trip as he made coffee and a plate of sandwiches. He nodded as I described the surreal conversations I had with my parents and brother, and smiled at their awkward but sincere efforts to begin some process of acceptance.

"It's not like things will be the way they were before I came out," I mused while doctoring my coffee with sugar and steamed milk. "And that's okay. But I think we're all hopeful that we can eventually get somewhere."

Edward's hand brushed my forearm as he reached for the milk. "They love you, Gar. I'm really happy for you."

We were quiet for a moment before I leveled a questioning look at my friend. "Edward, why didn't you tell me about Matheus?"

A flush stained Edward's face and he pushed his cup away with a grimace. "I was going to. But then all that shit went down with Kate and your family, and you went away."

"I've been back for almost a week, Edward. You could have called me."

"I know," he sighed, running his hands through his hair. "It just never seemed like the right time. I wanted to talk to you but... I didn't know how to broach it over the phone."

My chest ached as I watched his obvious distress. When I spoke, I tried not to sound as hurt as I felt.

"Edward, I'm starting to feel like this friendship is all one sided. You let me unload on you all the time, but you hold back when it comes to your own life. How should I feel knowing that everyone else has known about you and Matheus for weeks? Yeah, you work with Jasper and the girls, and I wasn't here, but I still thought..." I trailed off with a frown.

"Thought what?" Edward's brows furrowed as he watched me.

I put my cup down and looked at him. "I thought that you trusted me to be there for you, too. I appreciate you for trying to protect me, but I'm a grown man. I'd like to be there for you when you have problems, too."

"Fuck, I'm sorry, Garrett. I do trust you," Edward protested unhappily. "I've been... struggling, trying to figure things out-"

"I know. Bella told me you've been having a hard time."

"She did?"

I swallowed hard, and plastered a smile on my face. Whatever my feelings were for Edward, he needed a friend. It was time to put up or shut up. "I know it's been hard with Matheus. But you'll be okay, Edward. You guys can be friends again. And who knows, maybe Matheus will decide he wants the same things you do."

"Garrett, stop." A strange expression washed over Edward's face. "You think I've been upset over Matheus?"

"Well, yeah. Haven't you?"

Edward shook his head slowly. "I'm upset that I hurt Matheus by breaking up with him. But I'm not upset that we're not together anymore."

"You're not?"

"No. He and I want different things, and I'm… I'm ready to go after what I want. What I need."

"Oh."

Edward took a step closer, his eyes searching my face. "Garrett, I've been upset because I don't know how to tell you that I don't want to be your friend anymore."

My stomach sank into the floor. "You... wait, what?"

"I don't want to be your friend. I want more than that." Edward's lips lifted in a sweet, uneven smile. "I want _you_ , Garrett, and I've been scared to death to tell you."

I stared at him for a long moment before replying. "Why would you be scared to tell me that?"

"So many reasons," Edward said, blowing out a long breath. "I was with Matheus, for starters, and while he doesn't take monogamy seriously, I _do_.

"Then you were going through some really heavy shit with Kate and your family, and coming out. I didn't want to put more pressure on you."

Edward paused and rubbed the back of his neck with one hand. "I just _really_ didn't want to fuck up our friendship. I like you Garrett, and part of me was afraid to change that. Especially if you... you know, if you didn't feel anything. For me."

"Oh," I said, blinking stupidly at Edward's timid, hopeful expression.

"So... do you think you could?"

"Could I what? Feel something for you?"

"Yeah," Edward nearly whispered.

I couldn't think or organize my thoughts to answer. Instead, I launched myself at him, throwing my arms around his neck. I also caught Edward completely off-guard and off-balance.

"Oof!" he grunted as I knocked him backward, and his arms wrapped around my waist reflexively before we crashed to the kitchen floor in a tangle of arms and legs.

The air was filled with my swearing and Edward's laughter before I scrambled up off him and on to my knees, hauling him upright by his arms.

"Shit, I'm sorry," I babbled, straightening his glasses and looking him over anxiously. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine, Gar," he said, his eyes shining as he looked up at me. "I'm better than fine, if what just happened means you like me, too."

I crawled over him at once, straddling his waist, and wrapping my arms and legs around him. A little gasp escaped me when Edward pulled me closer, his heels against my ass and his hands on the small of my back.

"Jesus, Edward, _yes_. I like you, so much," I murmured, pulling his glasses off and laying them on the floor at his side.

"Thank god," he said, and his hands rose to cup my jaw as he leaned in to kiss me.

Edward's lips were warm and incredibly soft, lingering on mine as my eyes closed and I felt myself fall into pleasure. He caught my lower lip between his teeth, drawing a soft moan from me as fire flashed under my skin. When my tongue darted out to slide between Edward's lips, he gave a deep groan and opened his mouth against mine, sliding his hands into my hair to pull me closer.

The kiss deepened, all teeth and tongues and hot, wet mouths moving together. We clutched at each, pressing closer and tighter, and our moans were loud when our cocks brushed together beneath our clothes. Our breaths sped and our hands roamed, drawing sighs and groans of pleasure as we began to learn how to touch each other. We were panting when we finally broke apart, and I pressed my forehead to Edward's and gazed at him in wonder.

"Thank you," he murmured, leaning to press kisses along my cheekbone.

"For what, sweetheart?" I asked, running my fingers through his wild hair.

"For putting up with my macho bullshit." He leaned back to look at me with bright, happy eyes. "For being my friend. For wanting more."

I pulled his face to mine again, and smiled at his little sigh. "Anytime."


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to my beta, Discordia81, for wrangling my crazy wordiness.
> 
> This is a slash story. Boys liking boys, and that kind of thing. Rated M for language and citrus.

Waking up with my face buried in Edward's soft hair quickly became one of my favorite ways to start the day.

In the beginning, we slept across town from each other during the week and spent our weekends together. Before long, the weekends were spilling over onto Mondays and Tuesdays, and the occasional Wednesday, too.

We stayed at my place on Edward's nights off, cooking dinner and hanging out. We sat on my couch with my law briefs and Edward's netbook while the Red Sox played on TV. We met friends at the movies or at Masen's for drinks, or sat on my roof deck, drinking beer and fooling around with our guitars. And we fell into bed, fumbling with each other's clothes while our sighs and groans filled the air.

When Edward was working, I filled my evenings with overtime and client dinners, often in the company of the senior partners who took note of my extra efforts. I frequently made my way to Edward's after work, and let myself in with the key he hid in the entryway. A pleasant loneliness would fill me as I inhabited his empty place. I hung my suits in his closet, curled up in his bed to read, and fell asleep with the smell of his soap in the bedding. He tried not to wake me when he crawled into bed after his shift, and I pulled him close before falling back to sleep.

By early September, we spent more nights together than not. It wasn't something we discussed or planned. I loved it.

I loved waking to the feel of our limbs tangled together, and the steady rise and fall of Edward's breaths as he slept. I loved the brush of his whiskers against my shoulder. His sleepy murmurs as he woke. The smile that warmed his green eyes when he looked at me.

I loved waking up to find Edward's face between my legs even more.

"Jesus, Ed." I groaned at the sensation of his warm mouth on me. Moving my hands to frame his face, I looked down at him and bit back another groan. Edward's eyes were closed, his long lashes fanning across his fair skin, and his beautiful lips were wet as they slid over my cock. "Feels fucking good."

His fingers moved over the soft skin of my thighs and balls, rolling and pressing, each touch driving me a little more insane. His eyes burned with hunger when he opened them, and I grabbed hold of his head and thrust up into his mouth. He paused for a moment to adjust, swallowing around me with a low hum, the vibrations from his throat making me gasp as they rolled through me. I threw my head back on the pillow and opened my legs wider, stroking Edward's ribs with my feet.

My eyes drifted closed when his hands and mouth left my skin. I heard the click of the lube bottle and groaned when warm, slick fingers descended again between my thighs, guiding my cock back between Edward's lips. One long finger teased me for a moment, circling the sensitive flesh of my ass before sliding inside.

"Motherfuck," I exclaimed, opening my eyes to watch the beautiful man below me.

Edward groaned and rolled his hips into the sheets. He curled his finger to tap my prostate, and I let out a desperate, panting moan. He added another finger and my cock twitched. His mouth sucked and swirled, turning my bones liquid, and when he slid a third finger inside me, I unraveled.

"Coming," I grunted, gritting my teeth. I let go with a long exhale, falling into pleasure with my hands deep in his soft hair. Edward swallowed and caressed me, the dual sensations of his throat and fingers prolonging my orgasm before he pulled his mouth away.

"God, you're gorgeous when you come," he said after a few moments. His voice was rough as he pressed kisses on my thighs. "I love watching you fall apart like that."

When I could move again, I pulled him up against me and chuckled when his dick dug into my hip. He was so _hard_.

"You're fucking amazing," I muttered against his lips.

Edward kissed me breathlessly in reply and I deepened it, sucking hard on his tongue and tasting myself. His eyes were stormy when I pulled away to look at him. I let my hands roam the muscles of his back and ass until he let go a needy little sigh. He bucked and groaned when I reached around to pump his cock, making me smile.

"You wanna fuck me, Ed?"

"Yeah. No. Oh, shit," he gasped. I knew from the way his breath hitched that he was already pretty far gone. "Fuck, I need to come."

Edward bucked his hips again and whined low in his throat when I turned away for the bottle of lube on the nightstand. I slicked my hands and reached for him again, relishing his long, hungry moan.

"So good, fucking, so... oh, _God_ , yeah," he got out.

I tightened my grip while he fucked my fist, and stroked his balls with my other hand until he was writhing. He let out another strangled groan when I pressed my fingers into the soft skin behind his balls and pressed deep, wet kisses against his neck. He froze for a moment before burying his face in my neck with a hoarse shout, his cock pulsing warm and wet over my hand and stomach.

"Jesus Christ."

"Mornin', sweetheart." I kissed the side of his face gently and chuckled when I felt him smile against my throat.

ooOOoo

We listened to The Jam while we brewed coffee and cooked breakfast, and Edward sang into his spatula, looking rumpled and adorable in his _X-Files_ t-shirt and hospital scrubs.

"Let's go dancing tonight," he said, plating the eggs while I buttered toast.

"You're off?" I grinned eagerly. Edward worked at the bar most weekends and we rarely got out on the nights when the dance clubs were busiest.

"Yep. Bella traded me for my Tuesday." He carried the plates to the table while I followed with cups and the carafe of coffee. "She and Malice are doing something special with the family for Emmett's birthday. And I know you've been wanting to go dancing for a while."

"Mmm, I'd like that," I said as we sat down. I had been out clubbing only a few times since moving to Boston and only once with Edward. "I have tomorrow off for the long weekend--"

"Aha, so we can get you liquored up good and proper," Edward interrupted playfully, sandwiching his eggs between slices of toast. "Drunken Garrett is one of my favorites, you know."

I snorted and felt my face heat. I'd had too much wine during a recent dinner at Jasper's, and told our fellow diners just how much I enjoyed sex with Edward. I was mortified the next morning to find texts from Bella, Malice, and Jasper's boyfriend, Alec, demanding more details, particularly about Edward's technique.

"Aw, baby." Edward leaned in close and nibbled my jaw. "To tease is to love. Especially with that bunch; you know that."

And I did. I knew well the New England grand tradition of ball busting; it was when the teasing stopped that you needed to worry. I let Edward comfort me anyway and straightened his glasses before we turned back to our plates.

"I'm guessing you're not off tomorrow."

Edward shook his head. "I need to be at the bar by lunch time tomorrow. Jasper's in Maine with Alec this week for a family thing. And the guy who works the early shift is out because his wife just had a baby."

I frowned as I realized what he was saying. "You're going to end up working double shifts for almost a week straight."

"I don't think it'll be that bad. Matheus, Bella, and I are working out a schedule. And Jasper's back on Saturday, so I'll have that whole day off."

I looked at him doubtfully. "You're going to be killing yourself, and living on ramen noodles and coffee."

"I'll live. They cover for me when I take time off." Edward reached to cup my cheek with his hand. "Plus I get to torture Matheus by playing _'Inside Out'_ a million times."

I laughed then, recalling the near tantrum Matheus threw every time Edward snuck the Eve 6 song into the playlist. Naturally, the staff and crowd delighted in his pouting, and roared along with the lyrics while he took his turn dancing in the middle of the bar.

"Well, that'll make it worthwhile," I said, turning my face to press a kiss on Edward’s palm, making his eyes shine.

A sweet, lopsided smile lifted his lips before he turned back to his food. "Thank you for giving a shit. And yes, I am going to be tired and eating poorly."

"Ooh, Grumpy Edward is one of my favorites, you know." I sipped my coffee and smiled when a balled up napkin bounced off my forehead.

ooOOoo

Underbar was packed to capacity. We made our way toward the back bar, where we knew Edward's friends had reserved a table. I held his hand in mine and tried to be optimistic that the friends in question would behave.

Most of the people in Edward's life were like him: warm, charming, and genuine. They were easy to befriend and I genuinely liked them. The men we were meeting at the club that night, however, were a more challenging lot.

Edward had known these men since graduate school. They were primarily writers and academics, and a very different breed from the staff at Masen's. Among them, Seth and Paul were easygoing, while Eric and Michael were more prickly. Then there was Liam, whose predominant attitude was one of scorn. He and Edward had dated for several years, breaking up and reconciling twice before Edward ended it for good. According to Jasper, Liam was never friendly toward Edward's boyfriends. It irritated me to no end that he seemed particularly unimpressed with me.

To be fair, I found it difficult to be impressed by Liam and the others. They were pompous, demanding people who did their best to make others feel unwelcome. They were not supportive of Edward's freelancing and derided his job at the bar. They were among his oldest friends, however, and had been at his side during the years that had shaped his experience as a gay man. Edward loved them, for better or for worse, and wanted me to love them, too.

While I couldn't deny Edward’s generous heart, I could question the collective sanity of the men before me. We were in a nightclub, after all. Instead of being surrounded by sweat drenched men on the dance floor with Edward wrapped around me, I was sitting at the back bar listening to a debate about independent publishing. So I contented myself by watching the beautiful man in the _Lemonhead_ t-shirt at my side, sipping my bourbon while Edward rubbed my thigh with his hand, his eyes gleaming as he argued a point.

Seth surprised me by turning his dark eyes my way, gesturing to the others with his beer bottle. "Exactly how boring is this conversation to you, Garrett?"

"Boredom is relative," I replied. "Discussing the finer points of five-hundred page law briefs could hardly be called high entertainment to the uninitiated."

He smirked. "Sounds like a thrill a minute."

"It is if you're a law nerd." I smiled when he chuckled in agreement.

"And what do you read when you're not being super lawyer?"

"I don't have much time to read outside of work, unless I'm on vacation. I've been keeping up with the stuff Edward is writing, though."

Seth's reply was cut off when Liam snorted dismissively. "Why you're still publishing those scribbles is beyond me, Ed."

The irritation I felt at Liam's words became anger when I caught Edward's injured expression. I squeezed his hand reassuringly as I turned to Liam.

"The articles Edward is writing are very good." My voice sharpened when he rolled his eyes at me. "And you know very well that he's writing more than articles."

"What I know is that Ed is too busy working in that goddamned bar to work on anything that shows promise.

"Those articles are fluff." Liam narrowed eyes at me. "Ed's capable of much more and he knows it. If he got serious about his writing, he'd be able to finally make something of himself."

"Come on, Lee," Michael sighed. "Give him a break, for Christ's sake."

I didn't dare look at Edward. I was having trouble curbing my tongue as it was without seeing the pain his friend's words were causing. "You know, for the life of me, I can't understand what your problem is, Liam."

"It's hardly surprising that you don't understand," Liam scoffed. "There's a reason that our worlds don't often mix, Garrett."

I felt myself flush with anger and hurt, but more for Edward than myself. "Right. I don't understand why anyone would be ashamed of freelancing. Or of having two short stories published in this quarter alone. And I certainly don't understand why bartending is something to be sneered at."

I looked at Edward when he squeezed my fingers lightly, and felt my anger cool when I saw the emotions playing over his face. There was gratitude and pride in his eyes and soft smile. It made me happy to soothe him, and as much as I wanted to tear into Liam for being an idiot and a shitty friend, I wanted even more to turn Edward's smile from shy to dazzling. I pulled him close and kissed him, tracing his jaw with my fingers. The heat leapt between us at once, and I felt a moan rumble in his chest. I sighed when he wound his arms around me and stroked my skin through the fabric of my shirt.

The gleam was back in his eyes when he pulled back to press his forehead against mine. I was vaguely aware that his friends were watching us with varying degrees of amusement and exasperation, and I was sure I heard Liam huff. All I cared about was the amazing smile on Edward's face.

"Come dance with me, baby," he said, pulling me up as he stood. "I've made you wait long enough to do a little ass shaking."

The dance floor was pulsing with heat and dancing bodies. Edward’s hands were everywhere as we moved together, brushing over my arms and chest, his fingers stirring my hair and tracing the lines of my face and neck. I was aware of his friends moving around us in the crowd, but my focus stayed on the man in front of me.

We lost long minutes, kissing and grinding while bodies pressed around us on all sides. Before I realized what he was doing, Edward had tugged my shirt over my head and tucked it in my back pocket. I forgot to scold him when he bent to run his tongue over my damp skin, playfully nibbling on my collarbone with his teeth. He gave me a wicked smile when I pulled at the hem of his shirt, letting me pull it up and over his head, stretching it across his upper back before I dragged him toward me.

I couldn't get enough of him. His kisses set my skin on fire, and his arms wound tight around me, while his dick pressed I felt hard and ready against my thigh. My moan was lost in the roar of the music as I pressed him closer, wanting more. To drag him into the shadowed corners of the club and take his cock in my mouth. To feel him inside me. To take anything he would give me.

We broke apart, panting and fighting for control. Edward's brows were drawn and his lips were swollen from kissing. Desire was plain in his eyes when he opened them to gaze into mine, and he twined his fingers into the damp hair at the nape of my neck, stroking my scalp gently.

"Let's get a drink," he mouthed, nodding toward the bar. I smiled before we let go of one another and headed off the floor, pulling on our shirts as we went.

The lazy kisses we shared while we waited for our drinks grew steadily more heated, until I was ready to haul Edward up onto the bar and crawl on top of him. He slowed us down gently, brushing the hair from my forehead before he bit my chin and made me laugh.

"I gotta take a leak. Behave yourself while I'm gone," he said with a wink and loped away.

I carried our drinks to the now empty table and had time for one sip before Liam slid into the seat across from me. As always, just looking at the man set me on edge. I hated being unable to relax around him and that he made me doubt that I was a good match for Edward. I really fucking hated that he could not pull his head out of his ass to be a better friend.

"Look, I get that you don't approve of me, or whatever. You've made that pretty clear." I paused when Liam's lip twitched, and took another sip of my drink. "You say you're Edward's friend. If you are--"

"Don't question my loyalty to him." Liam's eyes flashed with real anger, obliterating his carefully cultivated bitchiness. I saw his hand tighten into a fist on the table as he considered his words. "You've known Ed what, six months, if that? I've been there for him in ways you can't understand, Garrett. And I'll be there for him when you're off with your next boyfriend or girlfriend."

"Then don't make him choose between us," I replied solemnly. "Don't make him choose between you and _any_ man in his life. Hell, maybe you're right and I'll be just another guy that's not right for him. I hope not, to be honest. I really like Edward. I want to make him happy.

"In the meantime you sure as fuck are trying to make me feel shitty. But you're not hurting me, Liam, not really. You’re not my friend, and I don't much care what you think of me. But you _are_ Edward's friend and he loves you. You hurt _him_ when you act like this."

Liam's grey eyes narrowed as I spoke, and his handsome face pulled down in a frown.

"You make him feel like shit every time you tear him down for his writing or for working at the bar, or for going out with me. He doesn't deserve any of that," I said, shaking my head in exasperation.

"I realize how we must seem to you: a bunch of effete queens picking on the sweet bohemian boy." Liam's eyes moved to the table and he pursed his lips before looking up again. He seemed to battle with himself for a moment before he blew out a long breath. "It's all done with Ed's best interests in mind. He's easily distracted, Garrett, always has been. If he would just focus for once, things could really change for him."

He smiled softly then and dropped his guard, his emotions showing plainly for the first time. I wondered if Liam showed this side of himself to his friends, and if they realized that he still loved Edward. I wondered uneasily if _Edward_ knew how Liam felt.

"So, in your mind, I'm just another distraction? Like the bar? Like his freelancing?"

Liam shrugged. "Well... like you, writing freelance articles and tending bar have a certain charm about them, certainly, and they're all good fun. But is that what you want him to be doing ten years from now, Garrett?"

"Edward's not like you or the others," I said quietly. "He's not where you are in his career, but he has his own way of going about things that works for him. He's good, Liam, and he works fucking hard. Give him time to sort things out."

Liam arched a skeptical eyebrow at me. "And are you really going to stand by him while he plots his path, Garrett? I'm sure you're used to a very different lifestyle than the one Ed is living. The two of you don't move in the same circles, or have the same goals. Your career is already set well into the future, while Ed hasn't truly begun his. Even when he does, you know how different they'll be.

"Forgive me, but from what I can tell, the two of you don't have much in common other than a love of bourbon, music, and that ragged crew from Masen's."

I frowned as I listened to Liam’s words. On the surface, he was right. My peers and I often worked backbreaking hours and put our personal lives on hold. In return, we made large paychecks and spent them lavishly, rewarding ourselves with material things, and valuing status and prestige. In contrast, Edward and his friends worked hard, but lived and played modestly. They were creative and quirky, and enjoyed living very much in the moment. Their work lives merged and overlapped with their personal lives, until it was difficult to tell where one ended and the other began. They were happy, vivid people, and so much more content with their lives and themselves than my pampered peers ever were.

As Edward and I had grown closer, I became intrigued by his contentment. While I was happy in my profession, I wanted something beyond the money and prestige. I wanted to feel fulfilled and valued for who I was, as well as for what I did.

Liam's sharp eyes were not unkind as he watched me. "You said something earlier that struck me, Garrett. You don't even have time to read outside of work. How can you make Ed happy when you have to schedule time to pay attention to the one thing he loves to do most?"

"I don't have any complaints about Garrett's attentions."

I caught a glimpse of Liam's startled expression before we both turned to look at Edward. He dropped into the chair at my side, sliding one hand into mine as he reached with the other for his drink. His smile was slow to reach his eyes, however, and I wondered how much he had heard of my conversation with Liam.

"What kept you?" I teased.

"Long, sordid story." He tossed back half of his drink, squinting against the liquor's burn before he leered at me. "Let's just say that I've seen enough latex to last me a lifetime. Right now, though, I want to feel up your sexy ass before we head back to my place."

I was out of my seat without another word, dragging Edward behind me as he laughed. It didn't escape me that he hadn't spared a word or glance for Liam.

ooOOoo

I wasn't the only one to get drunk that night. Edward matched me drink for drink and we kept each other busy on the dance floor kissing and humping each other to distraction. We were giggly and handsy when we left, and decided to walk to Edward's to clear our heads. We stopped frequently during the six-block walk, however, kissing and groping one another while I teased him mercilessly.

"Come on, baby," he murmured hoarsely, shuddering when I palmed his cock and buried my face in his neck. I pressed him against the brick wall of a darkened apartment building, and smiled at his muttered curse.

"Let me make you feel good, Ed," I breathed in his ear, moving my hand to his belt buckle. "I want to suck you so bad, sweetheart."

He chuckled and curled his fingers around my wrist to stop me. I pursed my lips in a pout before he kissed me so soundly that my knees wobbled, and I stifled a groan when his hands moved over my ass. We were both panting when he pulled away.

"You do, baby. _Goddamn_ , do you make me feel good. As much as I'd love to see my dick in your mouth right now, we're about five-hundred feet from my place and there's a bed just waiting to be used." He bit his lip and brushed his knuckles against my cheek tenderly.

"Well, when you put it that way, get your ass in gear and take me upstairs."

We were pulling at each other's clothes by the time we made it in the door, dizzy with want after the long evening of teasing. We left them where they fell, making our way to the bedroom, and when Edward wrapped his hand around me, I almost lost it right there. Swearing loudly, I hauled him toward the bed and fell down with him in a heap on the mattress. He hissed when my dick brushed against his, then pushed and rolled me onto my back before nimbly backing down my thighs.

"Wait, Ed, let me--" I said, my words dying in a gasp when he dragged his tongue over my cock in one, long lick. He drew me deep into his mouth, and I arched off the mattress with a load groan and begged without shame. "Oh, God. More, please."

He moved his mouth to my balls, working them over with his tongue until I was thrashing and begging him to fuck me. He moved away at last, reaching toward the nightstand, and I threw an arm over my eyes, panting as I tried to slow my body's response. I recognized the tingling in my inner thighs and belly, and knew how close I was to the edge.

"Baby, baby," Edward whispered, suddenly close and running his fingers over my jaw. "Shh. I'll take care of you."

I moved the arm over my eyes to curl around his neck, and pulled him in for a long, deep kiss. He groaned into my mouth while our cocks slid together. I grabbed his ass with my other hand and threw one leg over him, straining to bring him closer. We were both trembling when I moved to murmur in his ear. "I know you will."

I loosened my hold enough to give him room, and closed my eyes at the sound of the foil wrapper tearing. The lube bottle clicked and then wet fingers pressed into me, making my breath catch and my hands drop to fist the sheets. I listened to Edward's sweet whispers and surrendered myself to the sensations. The delicious burn of his fingers inside me. His mouth, pressing wet kisses into my neck and shoulder. His tongue whispering around my nipple, his teeth nipping gently at my ribs.

"Ready, babe," I muttered.

Edward kept on, insistent as always on taking this one part as slowly as we could bear.

"Ed... please," I said after several long minutes, my voice wavering with need.

The fingers slid away, replaced by the tip of his cock when he’d settled over me. I felt his arms on the bed by my shoulders as he slid deeper, and heard his labored breaths. I let go of the sheets to run my hands against his hamstrings, and pulled forward until his hips met my ass. He hummed softly and paused when I opened my eyes to meet his, the fire inside me coiling in my belly. He rolled his hips against me, and I lost myself in him.

He seemed to look into me with those wide green eyes. A gorgeous flush splashed across his neck and chest and I saw something vulnerable flash over his face.

"Garrett," he murmured, the note of surprise in his voice echoed in his expression.

I couldn't answer because he shifted then, changing his angle to tap the perfect spot deep inside me that sent me spiraling out of control. I could hardly breathe, let alone speak. I wound my legs around him, digging my heels against his ass before reaching for my cock. Edward beat me to it, and used his warm fist to pump me as he fucked me.

Pleasure rushed through me all at once, making me gasp. My eyes burned, clenching closed as my come painted my chest. "Oh... _Jesus,_ fuck!"

I was still lost deep inside my head when Edward stiffened against me. He gave a great shudder and pressed his face against my neck as he cried out. I wound my arms around him and sighed when he sagged on top of me.

It was a long while before we came back down. I muttered when he pulled away, and listened to him walk to the bathroom to throw the condom in the trashcan and wash up.

"Come to bed, babe," I slurred tiredly. I let my lids close when he returned with a warm washcloth to clean the sweat and come from my skin, and was already dozing when he slid into bed beside me.

I wanted to talk about what Liam had said at the club, and the way his words had made us feel. I wanted to talk about the way Edward had looked at me while we were fucking, and about the words he wasn't saying. But his arms were warm around me, and I was too tired for talk. I snuggled in, instead, and fell asleep.

ooOOoo

It was dawn when I woke up alone in the bed. Wrapping myself in the sheet, I prowled through the apartment and found Edward at the kitchen table closing his netbook, clad in just his glasses and boxer briefs. His eyes were red with sleeplessness when he looked at me with a frown.

"Did I wake you? I'm sorry," he said, getting to his feet and crossing the room to me. "I was just coming in."

I shook my head and wrapped him in the sheet. "What the fuck are you doing, Edward? You're going to be comatose at work today."

"I know," he sighed as we walked back to the bedroom. "Something got caught in my head and I had to write it down."

"Tell me this isn't because of what that dickhead said." I pulled him onto the bed, covering him with the sheet when he lay down, and took his glasses. I also made a mental note to tear Liam a new asshole the next time I saw him.

"It might have been," Edward admitted before yawning hugely. "But only a little, I promise. Sometimes stuff just pops in to my brain... I can't focus until I get it out."

He closed his eyes and his words became garbled as exhaustion hit him full force. The pauses between his thoughts increased in length as he relaxed. "Sucks when I'm at work without my computer... have to write during my breaks... longhand... fucking pen and paper."

I gathered him in my arms, rubbing his back and shoulders and he burrowed against me. His body grew heavy with slumber as I pressed a kiss to the crown of his head, and I fell asleep to his soft snores.

ooOOoo

I let Edward sleep as late as I dared, finally waking him at 10:00 a.m. He was groggy and compliant, letting me push him into the shower before I went to the kitchen to make breakfast. We ate egg sandwiches at the counter and talked about the week ahead until he had to leave and he slipped the netbook into his bag before we walked downstairs. I kissed him on the sidewalk outside his front door until he moaned and laughed when he pulled back to adjust himself discreetly.

"You did that on purpose," he grumbled.

"You didn't mind," I shot back.

"No, I fucking did not. Doesn't take much to get me hard when you're around, Garrett."

"Good to know, Edward. Good to know."

He shot me a smile when he turned to go but I thought again that the warmth didn't quite meet his eyes.

That look in his eyes stayed with me all day. I saw it when I rode the subway across town, and while I did my grocery shopping and errands for the week. It was there, in my head, when I cleaned my apartment and washed a mountain of laundry. When I cooked my dinner and composed an email to my parents. When I settled down to work and watch the Sox hose another road game.

My phone chimed as I was getting ready for bed. I chuckled when I saw it was from Bella and then laughed outright at the photo she had sent. In it, Matheus was scowling, dancing at the center of the bar with his arms above his head. Edward's campaign of musical terror was underway.

ooOOoo

A vague uneasiness dogged me for the rest of the week, disturbing my sleep and leaving me out of sorts. The unsettled feeling was compounded in that Edward and I were too busy to see each other, even for lunch. He worked a double nearly every day and stayed until close every night. My own schedule left me too tired to do anything but crawl home at the end of the day, eat take out, and crash. We sent texts and managed a couple of short phone calls, but it wasn't enough.

By Thursday, I took an overnight bag with me to work, determined to make some time with Edward. It was after nine that night when I grabbed some bagels and sandwiches from a deli near the office and caught a cab across town. I tripped over his Converse inside the door and rolled my eyes at the empty Top Ramen containers in the trash before I ate a quick dinner and sat up in his bed with my files, reading and watching the clock with bleary eyes.

The next thing I knew, my phone was chiming a quiet alarm on the nightstand. Edward's arm was warm around my waist, and I felt his soft breaths on the back of my neck. I had fallen asleep before seeing him.

Climbing out of bed carefully, I frowned when I saw just how tired he looked, even as he slept. His features were sharper from skimping on meals and sleep, and there were dark circles under his eyes. He didn't stir, even when I tentatively ran my fingers through his wild hair.

Quietly, I picked up my bag and the stack of papers and books he had cleaned up the night before, carrying them to the kitchen. I showered and then padded around in my boxers, brewing coffee and making breakfast. I left Edward’s plate in the fridge, noting with some satisfaction that his sandwich from the night before was gone before I went back to the bedroom to dress.

He had shifted to my side of the bed and was curled up around my pillow when I walked in. I watched him as I pulled on my clothes, my fingers itching to touch him, especially he mumbled softly. Instead, I picked his clothes up off the floor and tucked them in the laundry bag before I got ready to go.

I found the note as I was leaving, penned in Edward's loopy handwriting and taped above the deadbolt on the front door so I wouldn't miss it.

_Trying to buy my affection with tuna salad now? I see how it is._

I dug a pen out of my bag to scribble a reply.

_You're not the only one who knows how to give good sandwich, Cullen._

ooOOoo

By some miracle, I was free to go by six that evening and was packing up to head over to Masen's when my phone lit up with Edward's number.

"Edward, hey!"

I could hear both his smile and exhaustion when he answered. "Hey, Gar. I'm done for the night and wanted to see if we could get together for dinner."

"Absolutely," I said with a smile that made my cheeks ache. I walked toward the elevator as I talked. "How'd you manage that? I thought you were closing tonight."

"Jasper and Alec had to come back a day early – something to do with the kennel and Alec's dog. Anyway, Jas showed up, took one look at me, and sent me home." He laughed and I heard Matheus and Malice taunting him in the background. "Jas must have had an amazing week because he says he'll split tonight's tips with me."

"I'm sure there's a story there," I replied as I stepped on to the elevator. "Listen, how about pizza and wine at my place?"

"Yes and yes. But make it two pizzas; I could eat my own arm right now."

"Meet me at Regina's near my house. By the time you get there, the pies will be close to ready."

Edward's subway line was jammed up, so I was waiting outside of the pizzeria with the hot boxes when he jogged up. He kissed me sweetly before taking the boxes so I had free hands for my bag and briefcase.

"Jesus, sweetheart, you look pretty strung out," I said quietly as we walked.

"I could have kissed Jas when he walked in today." He smiled impishly, though his eyes were bloodshot and he was sagging slightly with fatigue. "If he didn't have an Alec, of course... and I didn't have a Garrett."

His slight hesitation caught my ear but before I could ask him about it, his expression became shy. "Thanks for coming over last night. And for the sandwich. I know you've been working a lot of hours too, and it was really nice to see you."

I chuckled and shifted my bags so I could hold on to the back of his neck as we turned on to my street. "You're welcome, sweetheart. I wish I had been awake when you got home."

"Eh, it's all right. You were all cuddly. You're extra cute when you're drooling all over my pillows."

We were still laughing as we approached my building, and I didn't pay much attention to the figure sitting on the front steps. Edward's expression of surprise, however, prompted me to realize it was my ex-wife sitting on the steps.

"Katie? What are you doing here?" I asked blankly. "Is everything okay?"

Kate's eyes moved from me to Edward and back, taking in my hand on his neck. She stood up slowly, her lips pressing into a thin line while her cheeks flushed pink.

She cleared her throat in an obvious attempt to control her emotions before she spoke. "Garrett, can we talk? Alone, if that's all right."

"Of course," Edward said quickly, nodding politely at Kate before he turned to me. I frowned when he stepped back and away from my touch, and just caught a flash of hurt in his eyes.

"Wait, you don't have to go," I began and then paused with my mouth open. I had no idea what to do next. What did I think was going to happen - that I would sit down for pizza with my ex-wife and the man I was seeing?

"Hey, it's okay." Edward's gentle voice centered me. He gave me a reassuring smile and nodded at the boxes he was holding. "Just grab one of these... I'm claiming the other one."

I shook my head as I took the top box, frowning again when he reached out to help me adjust the bags on my shoulder. I felt unhappy that he was being run off, and disappointed with myself for letting it happen. My voice was low when I stepped forward and said, "At least let me introduce the two of you."

"Maybe another time," Edward murmured quietly, his eyes flicking to Kate and back to me. I heard the hesitation in his voice when he spoke again. "Maybe we can catch up tomorrow, if you have time?"

My stomach sank at the thought of not seeing him again that night, and I hastened to reassure him. "I'll come over tonight, Ed."

His mouth tilted in that sweet, lopsided smile before he turned back in the direction we had just come. I watched until he rounded the corner before turning back to face my ex.

"I should have called," Kate muttered, holding out her hands for the pizza box as I walked up the stairs.

I dug my keys out of my pocket and looked at her curiously. "Is everything all right?"

"Yes. Well, I don't know." Kate sighed heavily and shook her head. "I'm not sure how to answer that question."

We climbed the stairs quietly and I felt her eyes on me as we entered the apartment and walked to the kitchen. She stepped forward, helping me set the table and serving the pizza while I poured the wine.

It was when we sat down that I realized I had taken the box containing Edward's pizza in the confusion outside. My throat grew tight as I stared at the roasted cherry tomatoes and ricotta on my plate. I wanted him there, with me and sharing that meal, instead of waiting across town to see if I showed up.

Kate cleared her throat again, drawing my eyes to hers. I was no stranger to the emotions I saw in them, but now the anger and sadness were tempered with curiosity.

"Garrett, who was that man downstairs?"

"His name is Edward Cullen," I replied, picking up my glass. I sipped and sighed, knowing the Lambrusco was good; my swirling head and heart, however, left me unable to enjoy it. "We've been friends for a while. And we've been seeing each other for a couple of months."

Kate carefully cut her pizza with her knife and fork. "He's very beautiful. Is he your boyfriend?"

"I think so, yes. We haven't really talked about labels like that. But I'm not dating anyone else."

"Is he... is he the reason you asked me for a divorce? Did you come out for him?"

I stared at my ex until she raised her eyes to mine, my shock rendering me incapable of speech for a long minute. Kate was red-faced and grim, her body practically vibrating with tension as she waited for my answer.

"No," I said gently. "I've told you before. There was no one person. My coming out started long before I met Edward. I've always liked men. I just didn't realize that I _preferred_ them until fairly recently."

"There were lots of women before me," she protested stubbornly. I felt my stomach sink when her eyes gleamed with tears. "Don't try to tell me there weren't Garrett, I saw you with them before we started dating. And--"

"There were men before I met you, too," I interrupted, biting my lip when her face fell. "Before I ever loved a woman, I loved a man, Kate. I fell _in_ love with him, and it was more... it was _right_ , for me. Then and now. It's who I am. I'm so sorry that I didn't figure that out before I met you. The last thing I've ever wanted was to hurt you."

She nodded, her tears spilling over onto her cheeks. I handed her a napkin and made some noise of comfort, hating that she was still hurting.

"Fuck," she said after a moment. "I know you told me that already. Guess I wasn't really ready to believe it yet. Seeing you with that man, though...."

I ran a hand over my head as she trailed off. "I'm really sorry it was a surprise, honey. We haven't talked much. And I didn't think you'd want to hear about my dating."

"Yeah, I know." She sighed and wiped her nose before suddenly letting out a strangled laugh. "Well. Guess I don't need to salt my pizza now that I've snotted all over it."

I tried not to chuckle and failed. Then Kate giggled, and the tension hanging over us broke apart as our giggles became full-blown laughter.

ooOOoo

It was after ten when I let myself into Edward's apartment, this time tripping over a pair of Adidas lying inside the door. There were lights burning, but it was quiet, and I found him on the sofa in his jeans and a _Bartley's Burger Cottage_ t-shirt. A bottle of stout sat beside the empty pizza box on the coffee table, and he was snoozing through an episode of _The Big Bang Theory_.

Setting my bag down, I carried the box and empty bottle to the kitchen, where I washed the few dishes in the sink and tidied up. Edward was stirring when I returned to the living room, and sat up blearily before he patted the seat cushion beside him.

"Hey, handsome," I said, running a hand over his messy head as I sat down.

"Hey, yourself." His voice was rough with sleep, but he smiled and leaned in to kiss my jaw. "I was hoping I'd see you again tonight."

I huffed and took his hand between mine. "I told you I'd be here. I'm sorry about dinner. Kate's never turned up at my apartment like that and I didn't feel comfortable asking her to leave without hearing her out."

Edward shook his head slowly as I spoke, gently squeezing my fingers with his. "Don't worry about it, Garrett. You guys had a life together. Even with the way she treated you... I'd think it was weird if you didn't want to talk to her."

"Thank you," I murmured and moved to kiss him tenderly. "You want to go to bed, sweetheart? I know you're tired."

"No way, man," he replied, brushing his nose against mine. "I haven't seen you in fucking forever. Well, not awake, anyway. I wanna hang out, drink beer, and eat the ice cream in the freezer."

"Really?" I pulled back to scan his face, laughing when he nodded furiously.

"Fucking A. I can sleep tomorrow on my day off."

We shared beers and chocolate ice cream while chatting about work and some business trips to Atlanta that I had planned. Edward told me about the piece he had written late Sunday night, and I could tell from his smile that he was happy with it. He promised to let me read it when it was ready.

He needed another beer before he was ready to ask me about Kate. His body language and the worried line between his eyebrows betrayed his conflicted feelings about the woman who had recently hurt my family and me. I knew, too, without his saying, that he would never ask me to end the relationship.

"I hadn't talked to her much since the big blowout in July," I said, rolling my beer bottle between my palms. "Just emails when we needed to communicate about legal stuff. She felt bad about outing me to my parents. She wanted to apologize and really didn't want to do _that_ in a message.

"She's still having trouble accepting that nothing would have changed the outcome of our relationship. But we talked and I think she's starting to come around. I hope so, anyway."

Edward pulled me close, pressing his lips against the side of my head and I let his warmth soak into me.

"She was embarrassed for the way she acted in front of you," I said. "I guess seeing me with another man was more of a surprise than she expected. She asked me if you were my boyfriend."

"Oh, yeah?"

"Yeah. I told her that I thought you were. My boyfriend, I mean."

Edward was quiet for a moment and I felt a knot of tension in my chest at the idea that we might not be on the same page.

"Is that something you're okay with, baby?" Edward asked carefully.

I sat up and turned to look at him, confused by his words and the cautious, closed off expression on his face. I hadn't seen that look since before we'd started dating; he had worn it whenever we talked about Matheus dating other men.

"How do you mean?"

"Well, I realize it's a little late to be saying this, because we've been spending a lot of time together. But I don't want to put any pressure on you, Garret. It doesn't have to be serious between us, unless you're ready."

"Why wouldn't I be ready? I thought you wanted to be in a monogamous relationship."

"I do," Edward replied, and then hastened to add, "but you just came out to your family, and you're in a new city. If you aren't ready to be exclusive, I'll understand."

"You'd really do that for me?" I watched, stunned, as he nodded and a bright flush stained his cheeks and neck.

"I can't promise I wouldn't be shit at it. I can be a jealous fucker," he said in a low voice. "But I don't want you to feel forced into anything."

I put the beer bottles on the coffee table before turning back to kiss him hard, pressing him into the seat back. The knot in my chest disappeared as he wound his arms around me. Soon, I was straddling him, and our groans and muttered curses were coloring the air. We were a little desperate as we ground against each other, hands roaming and eager, but we were playful, too, simply enjoying being close again.

I pulled back to look at him finally, combing his hair back with my fingers and watching the emotions in his big eyes. "How long have you been waiting to say those things to me, Ed?"

"Since the club," he admitted, rubbing my back with his hands. "And I know you hate it when I get stuck in my own head and keep shit from you. But in my defense, I haven't seen you since Monday morning. And it took me a couple of days to figure out how I wanted to broach the subject."

"What happened to make you think that way? Was it something I said or--"

"Baby, no, it wasn't you,” he said quickly, his hands moving to frame my face. “It wasn’t anyone, really, though I suppose if I had to name a name, it would be Liam."

"Oh, that is _it_ ," I groaned. "I am gonna _kill_ that motherfucker the next time I see him."

Edward laughed loudly and kissed me quickly. "No, no, come on, it wasn't anything I haven't thought about on my own. I heard Lee talking about my not being serious about my writing… and that made it more real, I think.

"Made what more real?"

"Admitting that our lives don't always match up. You know where you're going, and I'm still kind of fucking around. I wonder sometimes if you need more, you know?" He sighed and my heart ached when I saw the doubt flicker in his eyes again. "I wonder if you need something better."

I kissed him again, pouring myself into it. I hoped he felt my trust and desire, and the emotions I couldn't yet put into words. Edward's eyes were bright when I pulled back, and his smile lit up the whole room.

My gaze was steady as I looked at him, and my voice was filled with emotion. "There's nothing better out there for me than you. Trust me. You are exactly what I need, Edward."

"Good to know, baby. Good to know."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading and I hope you enjoyed that. ;)
> 
> I have a few more things bouncing around in my head, so I'll sure to revisit these boys again.
> 
> Underbar, Pizzeria Regina's, and Bartley's Burger Cottage are actual establishments in the cities of Boston and Cambridge.
> 
> The Jam were a mod revival band active during the late 1970's and early 1980's.
> 
> Lemonheads are a sour candy sold in the US.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to my beta, Discordia81, for wrangling my words.
> 
> This is a slash story. Boys liking boys, and that kind of thing.

I woke to the sound of my phone chiming. I blinked at the bland, beige walls around me, wondering where I was for a moment. Then I remembered that I was in a hotel room halfway across the country from Boston, without Edward beside me.

Two days left in Chicago, locked in a conference room. Two more days living out of my garment bag, waiting to fly back home.

“Damnit.”

Shortly after Labor Day, I had been assigned to a team handling a merger between two large corporations. It was a fantastic opportunity that I was grateful to have. It also meant spending every second week in Chicago for two months. September and then October passed in a blur, and suddenly it mid-November. In a week, I would be in Oregon for Thanksgiving, leaving Edward behind in Boston again.

I missed him more and more each time I left. My schedule in Chicago was intense, and often made it difficult for us to speak for days at a time. We texted and emailed each other daily, but it never felt like enough. I even slept poorly while I was away, especially on the nights that I knew Edward was working.

The travel wore on him, too. He didn’t complain about the trips, and was always supportive and encouraging. But his eyes were sad when he watched me pack my suitcase for this time. He held me tightly at the airport, and his voice was gruff when he wished me a safe flight and kissed me goodbye.

I pushed the sheets aside and sat on the edge of the bed, scrubbing my face with my hands. My phone chimed and I smiled when I saw a message from Edward. He enjoyed sending me sly, naughty messages when I traveled and was good at choosing a few words and the occasional photo to make my heart thump and my cock hard.

I picked up my phone and laughed when I read his message.

_Watching Big Bang and eating your Fruit Loops. Naked._

Immediately, images of Edward’s nude body filled my mind. My dick twitched in approval, and I bit back a groan as I replied.

_Perv. Pics please._

An hour later, my phone chimed again while I was straightening my tie. This time, a photo of Edward's crotch appeared on the screen, his long fingers tracing the outline of his hard on through his underwear.

“Motherfucker's trying to kill me,” I muttered, breathing deeply to calm myself.

I made it back to the room just after midnight. I felt tired and a little drunk from sharing a dinner of bourbon and cocktail peanuts with a coworker in the hotel bar. But I was happy because I had managed to cut my trip a day short and was flying back to Boston in the morning.

Despite the late hour, I packed my bags and set up a checkout time. I wanted to call Edward, but knew that Masen's was midway through closing for the night; he would have no time to chat. I picked up my phone to text him and noticed one already waiting. 

_Miss you baby._

My chest swelled as I stared at the screen. Longing and affection washed over me, and words that had been bouncing around in my head for weeks came together into a single, coherent thought. _I love him._ And I did.

I loved Edward's cheeky t-shirts and the battered sneakers he left by the door. I loved making dinner together on his nights off, and that he rubbed my feet when we watched TV. That he lost himself in his writing, and murmured aloud when he paced and read his drafts. That he danced and sang with little urging and with total abandon. His kisses, his hungry touches, and the little hitching breath he made when he was close to coming. The way his eyes shone when he looked at me.

A sense of rightness filled me, coupled with something like relief. Then… doubt crept in. A dark insecurity leftover from my experience with Eli reared its head, reminding me of the time I had loved and it had not been enough. Comparing Edward to Eli was unfair; I _knew_ they were different, that our situations were different. And still, my head questioned the wisdom of my heart. Did Edward love me? If he didn’t, could he someday?

ooOOoo

My plane touched down just after ten the following morning. Instead of taking a cab to my apartment, I gave the driver Edward's address and spent the ride updating my schedule for my secretary.

I climbed the stairs with a nervous stomach and a big smile, and rang Edward’s buzzer. That smile faded when the door opened to reveal a face I knew but didn't expect:  Matheus. And my nervous stomach did a funny turn as the pieces clicked into place: Matheus, in Edward's apartment, in the middle of the morning.

_What the fuck?_

“Hey, Garrett,” he said with a grin. “You're back early, aren’t you? Ed said you were flying in tomorrow.”

“Uh, hi,” I said, trying to regroup. “Yeah, the trip was cut short. Is Edward here?”

“He's taking the world's longest shower,” Matheus said, waving me in. “He ran out of cold medicine last night, so I brought some over on my way to work. You want some coffee?”

I heard the sound of running water and coughing coming from the bathroom and frowned at the bartender. “What's wrong with him? Is he sick?”

“He's just got a cold,” Matheus replied. I dropped my bags by the door and followed him toward the kitchen, while he talked over his shoulder. “He's leaking snot everywhere, and just being generally disgusting. I brought some meds and chicken soup from the deli because he swears by that shit when he doesn't feel well.”

“And why the fuck am I just hearing this?”

“Well, Ed's not really one to bitch about being sick. Besides, you were in Chicago, so it's not like there was much you could do.”

I felt my face flush. “You mean unlike you.”

Matheus stopped in his tracks. He turned slowly to look at me, a wary expression on his face. “I didn't say anything like that, Garrett. Bella offered to drop the stuff off, but I live closer, so I said I’d do it.”

“Shit. I'm sorry,” I sighed. “I don't know why I said that.”

He shrugged and gave me a wry smile. “It's okay. You've been pretty cool about Ed staying friends with me. I figure it gets weird for you sometimes.”

“No, its fine,” I protested as I took a seat at the table. “It was a little weird in the beginning, but it doesn't bother me. I'm glad you’re still friends.”

Matheus raised his eyebrows encouragingly at me before he turned to pour coffee.

“This working in Chicago thing... sucks.” I accepted the cup gratefully and sipped while he settled in a chair across from me. “When I'm there, I'm working my ass off and have no idea what's happening here in Boston. And when I'm here, it feels like I'm trying to catch up on everything that I missed while I was away, in and out of work.”

I ran a hand over my head. “Did you know that a publisher is looking at Edward's short story collection?”

Matheus looked puzzled but nodded.

“He told me in a text message,” I confessed, my chest aching at the memory. “He tried to call me, but I couldn't pick up. He didn’t want to wait to tell me, so he finally just wrote it down.”

He winced in sympathy. “You know Ed's okay with that, though, right? Sure, he probably wanted to tell you in person, but he knows you can't help being out of town.”

“Yeah, I know he's okay with it... he'd just lie if he wasn't, anyway.” We laughed together, knowing it was true. “But _I'm_ not okay with it. I hate not being a part of what's going on. I feel like the world’s shittiest boyfriend.”

“It's not forever, man. And you’re not a shitty boyfriend. Ed talks about you all the time; you're part of his life, even when you're not here.”

Matheus rose and took his empty cup to the sink just as the sound of the shower cut off, followed by more coughing. He picked up a jacket from the back of his chair and pulled it on, gesturing to a saucepan on the stove.

“I gotta get to work. Tell Captain Mucus that there's more soup in the fridge if he wants it.”

I laughed and nodded. “Gross. Thanks.”

“And tell him to take a fucking nap or something, too; Malice will kill him if he's pissy again tonight.” He grinned before turning to go.

It was another ten minutes before I heard steps in the hallway.

“Who was at the door, Mat?”

Edward's voice was hoarse from coughing when he walked into the kitchen wearing a _Dr. Who_ t-shirt and scrubs. His eyes caught mine and widened in surprise for a second before he smiled widely. In a flash, he was across the kitchen, stooping to fling his arms around my neck.

“Holy shit,” he murmured in my ear. “What are you doing here, baby? It's only Thursday.”

The tension of the past week and my conversation with Matheus drained away when Edward touched me. I closed my eyes and wound my arms around him tightly, humming when he straddled my legs and settled into my lap.

“Surprised?” I whispered, breathing in the smell of his freshly showered skin and hair.

I felt him smile against my neck. “Hell, yeah. I missed you, Gar.”

“I missed you too, sweetheart. So much.”

I pulled back to look at him, cupping his cheek with my hand. His nose was red and his eyes watered from the cold; he turned aside to stifle a cough even as I watched. But a smile warmed his whole face as he leaned forward to brush his nose against mine.

I swept his damp hair back from his forehead. “How do you feel? Matheus said you have a cold.”

“Eh, it's not so bad.”

“Is your nose stuffed up?”

“Ummmm, no?”

“Oh, good. That means you can breathe while I kiss you.”

He laughed softly. “You might catch my cold, baby.”

“I don't fucking care.”

I pressed my mouth to Edward's, and sighed to feel his soft, soft lips again. He seemed to hesitate until I ran my tongue over his upper lip and then he groaned and opened his mouth, pulling me closer with his hands.

Immediately, the kiss went from sweet to serious. We clutched at each other and our bodies responded. Edward ground his erection against mine, making me grunt and squirm. I needed, more than anything, to see him come and watch his face as he soared.

Pulling him back gently with one hand, I slid the other between us, slipping my fingers under the waistband of his scrubs and boxers. I wrapped my hand around his dick and smiled when he hissed with pleasure.

“Mmm, Garrett. What are you doing, baby?” He groaned, his forehead falling against mine while his hands splayed against my shoulders and neck. His cheeks were flushed, his eyes were burning, and he looked so fucking beautiful that my heart ached.

Fire ran under my skin, making me shiver. “I wanna make you to come, sweetheart,” I told him. “I wanna feel you come all over my hand.”

“Bedroom?”

“Nope. Right here.”

Edward moaned loudly at my words. I stroked him, and felt his body jerk when my thumb ran over the head of his cock. He rocked against me, making me gasp and the ache in my balls spread into my belly. I bent my head to tongue his nipples through his shirt and he stuck his tongue in my ear. In just two or three minutes, he was trembling and mumbling words like “feels good” and “missed you” dropping softly from his lips.

“I'm – uh, I'm gonna come,” Edward said, his mouth dropping open as his orgasm approached.

“Let me see you,” I whispered. I gripped his cock harder and the coil in my belly tightened.

“Ah, fuck! Fuck, baby,” he moaned, his face crumpling before his head fell back and his back arched. I held him tightly, his cock throbbing in my fist and his come pulsing onto his belly and our clothes.

Edward’s mouth was on mine again quickly, and he reached past the sticky mess to unzip my pants. The tingling in my groin intensified when he reached into my boxers and palmed my dick. He sucked on my tongue and rocked his whole body against me while I held on to his waist. He steadied me when I curled inward with a shout, pressing my face against his chest.

He was chuckling and rubbing my back when I came down from my high. I smiled lazily when he laid his cheek against the top of my head, and ignored the cooling mess in my pants.

“Something funny?”

“I'm hoping there's enough hot water for a shower and laundry. Because there is come every-fucking-where.”

ooOOoo

We showered and loaded the washer with laundry, then ate sandwiches and soup while chatting about our week and the holiday ahead.

“Oh, listen,” Edward said, pushing away his bowl. “Yesterday, Jas talked me into having brunch here this Sunday. Kind of a pre-Thanksgiving thing since most of you will be out of town with your families.”

I felt a pang of guilt at the thought of having to be out of town again so soon. Edward's next words, however, made my eyes widen with surprise.

“My parents will be here, too.” His ears turned pink and he looked at his hands shyly. “They got back from their trip this week and they want to meet you.”

Edward's parents had been traveling in Europe while his father enjoyed a sabbatical from teaching Art History. The family kept up through email and Skype, and through images captured by Edward’s mother, who was a gifted photographer. Edward hadn't seen them in several months and I, of course, had never met them, though I knew Edward had told them about me. The idea that I would meet them in just a few days made me feel giddy.

“Oh, wow. I'd like that, Edward.”

“Yeah?”

I grinned and reached for his hand when Edward peeked up at me uncertainly. “Hell, yeah.”

ooOOoo

Edward's cold improved over the weekend, and I went back to my apartment only to swap out changes of clothes. Though the words went unsaid, neither of us wanted to be away from the other more than necessary, especially overnight.

The words I was still unable to say were on my tongue constantly. They were there when I met Edward’s smile. When I kissed him. When I tickled his feet and made him laugh. When he made me meatloaf for dinner. When he kicked my ass at Wii bowling. When he slid his cock inside me and made me come so hard, I saw stars. When he curled up in my arms and fell asleep.

_I love you._

ooOOoo

Esme Cullen gave good hugs. She squeaked when I opened Edward's door and then wrapped her arms around me, ignoring her husband's soft laughter.

“Ease up, Mae, or you'll scare the man.”

“It's all right,” I chuckled, smiling at Carlisle. “I don't mind. I suppose it goes without saying that I'm Garrett.”

“Well, obviously,” Esme replied, pulling back at last with a smile. “Though I'm glad to have confirmation; it would have been terribly embarrassing to have hugged a person in error.”

“More like mauled,” Edward said, stepping up behind me. He pressed a kiss to my cheek before he stepped forward to embrace his parents. “Hi, Mama. Hi, Dad.”

By eleven, the apartment was filled with music and laughter. People were chatting and eating from the buffet Edward and I had set up. Matheus and Malice were mixing mimosas and cocktails for everyone, while Jasper and Alec swapped stories with the Cullens. Emmett and his girlfriend were decorating an outrageous looking Pavlova with pomegranate seeds while Bree and her daughter looked on.

I noticed Bella and Edward exchanging looks and smug smiles on several occasions, but didn't think much of it until I saw Bella dragging Malice outside for a smoke.

“What's going on with those two?”

“Girl stuff.” Edward shrugged, but I didn't miss the gleam in his eye that told me he knew more than he was letting on.

Wrapping my fingers around the hem of his Clash t-shirt, I pulled him in and planted a soft kiss just below his ear, chuckling when he hummed softly. “Don't lie to me, Edward.”

“I'm not lying,” he protested, and sighed when I kissed him again. “Oh, keep doing that. Fuck.”

“Only if you answer my question.”

He whined in complaint when I pulled away. “I don't even _remember_ the question, baby.”

The sound of happy shrieking startled us both, and I jerked back with a curse. Edward caught me around the shoulders and pulled me into a hug as the room erupted around us in excited babble.

“What the hell are those two _doing_?” I griped.

He pressed his mouth to my ear and spoke in a low voice. “Bella proposed. I'm guessing, from all that screamy clapping, that Mal said yes.”

I felt my eyes go wide with surprise. I had time for one “Oh!” before Malice was on us, jumping and squealing and waving her left hand around.

“Ohmygod, you guys, I'm freaking out!” she managed to get out before throwing her arms around us both.

Laughing, I managed to get her to stop moving long enough to admire the elegant band that Bella had given her. I ooh'd and aah'd over the diamond setting before she flew off again.

“She likes it,” Edward was saying to Bella. He tapped her nose gently when she blushed and nodded.

“Oh, she likes it all right. Thanks again for helping me pick it out, Edward.”

“You knew about this?” I knew from the way Edward's brows drew together that I sounded slightly disgruntled.

“Well, yeah. Though I didn't know they were going to turn brunch into an estrogenfest.” Edward grunted when Bella poked him in the side with her elbow.

She winked at me. “Ed went ring shopping with me last week when you were away. Your boy's got good taste.”

“I'm sure he does.” I managed a genuine smile and moved to give her a hug. “Congratulations to you both, Bella. I'm happy for you.”

Bella blushed and mumbled her thanks before darting off after Malice. A soft touch on my arm drew my attention back to Edward’s earnest gaze.

“You could have told me, you know,” I said, my irritation rising again.

He shrugged and looked confused. “She asked me not to, so I didn't. It wasn't my secret to tell, Gar.”

I knew he was right. It was unfair of me to be annoyed with him for keeping Bella’s secret; he had done what any good friend would do. But the insecurity I had been hiding gnawed at me, making feel both vulnerable and resentful. Worse, I couldn't tell Edward any of it. My feelings were raw, and I was afraid that I would say too much or lose my temper.

“You okay, baby?” Edward looked concerned as he rubbed my shoulders.

I opened my mouth to answer but stopped when Carlisle and Esme appeared beside us.

“I'm sorry to interrupt you, son, but I need a word.”

“Sure, Dad, what's up?”

“Elizabeth has been in touch with me. She said you haven't been returning her calls.”

Edward stiffened. “I don't have anything to say to her, Dad,” he said, his eyes hardening.

Carlisle sighed and rubbed his forehead with his hand. “I understand that it's difficult for you, Edward, and I apologize for bringing this up today. Elizabeth needs a favor.” He held his hands up when Edward snorted. “Tanya is enrolled at BU and is staying in the dorms. She’s only eighteen, and alone here in the city. It would be nice if she knew she had someone to count on here while she’s away from home.”

The steely expression on Edward's face wavered and I saw him swallow before he spoke again. “Fine... yes, okay, I'll talk to Tanya. I just need to know how to get in touch with her--”

“That's what Elizabeth has been trying to contact you about.” Carlisle looked frustrated and Edward became defensive again.

“I don't need to talk to her to get that information. If she doesn't want to leave it on my voicemail then she can give Tanya my phone number directly. Or she could give the information to you, Dad--”

“Or you could talk to your mother directly,” his father said firmly, his handsome face pulling down in a frown.

Edward's reaction was immediate. His face flushed and his nostrils flared as he took a step back, away from us all. His voice was low and harsh when he spoke, the words pushing through clenched teeth. “She is _not_ my mother.”

“Edward,” Esme said softly. Her big eyes were moist and sad as she looked at the angry man before her. “We know why you feel the way you do. But you should never say that. Elizabeth will always be your mother, honey.”

Edward shook his head immediately, his expression stricken. He stepped forward and embraced Esme gently, his eyes locked on Carlisle, who was looking on sadly. “Oh, mama. I am sorry if my words hurt you. She... Elizabeth is just who she is. She's been no mother to me. _You_ are my mother.”

ooOOoo

The apartment was far too quiet after everyone went home. I helped Edward clean up, working at his side in silence, while my feelings grew more and more conflicted.

I had become accustomed to the reticence Edward sometimes showed when it came to his most personal feelings. He tended to turn inward, and often deflected attention away from himself with humor. I knew, too, that he had been trying to change the behavior because I needed the reassurance of regular communication. The conversation with his parents, however, had shaken my confidence.

“What time are you leaving for work?” I asked as he loaded the last plate into the dishwasher.

“Five,” he replied quietly. He flicked the machine on and sighed. “Want some wine?”

“Sure.”

I moved to sit at the table while he found some clean glasses and poured the last of a bottle of burgundy. He handed me a glass and sat down, staring into his drink while I stared at him. The silence stretched on, becoming deafening, until I couldn't hold back any longer.

“Are we going to talk about what happened today?”

He looked up and watched me steadily for a long moment before he spoke again. “My dad was married before he met Esme. His first wife's name is Elizabeth, which I'm sure you gathered from our conversation. She's my biological mother.

“She left when I was three. She told my dad that she wasn't ready to be married or a mother. She left and didn't come back. I didn't see her much for several years.

“When I was five, my dad met Esme. She... she didn't mind that I was part of the Carlisle Cullen package.” He chuckled, but the discomfort he felt was clear in his face. “I haven't really known any mother except Esme. She was good to me. She loves me. And she makes my dad happy.”

Edward was quiet for a moment and ran his hands through his hair as he always did to calm himself. “Elizabeth remarried when I was twelve. She and her husband adopted two little girls from Russia. Tanya and Irina are my stepsisters. When I was a kid, I'd stay with Elizabeth and her family for a couple of weeks in the summer. They moved to Rhode Island when I was a teenager and I wasn't comfortable being that far from home, so I stopped going.

“I've stayed close with the girls, though, Tanya especially.” The corners of his lips turned up slightly. “Their father doesn't like that we're friends, but Tanya's never let that stop her. Even he can't stop her when she decides she wants something.”

I let out a long breath. I looked at Edward, the warm and caring man that was usually so open with his affection, and tried to understand why he had never mentioned having a whole other family.

“Edward, how could you not tell me about this?” I said. I could hear the strain in my voice. “You have a mom and sisters that I had no idea about… what the fuck?”

“She's not important to me,” he said, his face darkening. “I don't think about her. Elizabeth, I mean. I don't talk to her. I don't want her in my life, Gar. She makes my Dad feel bad, and Esme especially. She makes me feel bad, to be honest. Like I'm... if it weren't for Tanya and Irina, I wouldn't speak to Elizabeth, ever.”

“You don't mean that,” I protested, unwilling to believe he was capable of such coldness.

“You don't understand,” he began.

“I know I don't, Edward, because you don't fucking tell me anything!” I burst out. “How do you expect me to understand when you don't open your damned mouth?”

Edward raised his voice in turn. “I was embarrassed to tell you! Fuck! Elizabeth didn't want me, Garrett. She never loved me. And her husband, well, he wants even less to do with his wife's prodigal son, the gay kid who works at a bar. He doesn't want me in the house when he's there because I make him uncomfortable!

“Okay? Do you get it now?” he laughed bitterly. “Elizabeth is not my mother and she never has been. Esme Cullen is my mother. That lady has taken care of me and made me feel loved my whole life.”

Edward scrubbed his hands over his face roughly and I saw him breathe deeply to get a handle on his emotions. “I apologize for not telling you about Elizabeth before today. I didn't mean for that to happen. But... I don't want her in my life, Garrett. And I really don't want her in my head.”

“I'm sorry you all went through that,” I said sincerely. “I'm sorry that she hurt you, and your parents. But you should have told me about her, and your stepsisters, Edward. That is a huge part of your life that you just hid and I am really not okay with that.”

For a long moment, Edward glared at me and I glimpsed just how upset he was. His lips pressed together in a grim line, and an angry flush spread over his face and neck. My stomach curled because I _knew_ in my bones that he wanted to turn my words back on me, call me a hypocrite, and scoff at my outburst. He had every right to. Hadn't I done exactly the same thing to Kate? Hadn't I kept something very important from the people closest to me out of fear and selfishness?

Edward didn't call me out. He didn't say a word to me about his feelings or my bullshit. Instead, he reined his emotions back in, just as he had during the party. Perversely, I grew even angrier. How could he be so controlled? How was it even possible for him to not be as upset, if not more so, than I was?

“I'm always playing catch up with you, Edward,” I said flatly. “Months later and it's like nothing is any different. I'm still finding out things that you've been keeping from me. It's not fucking fair, and it makes me feel like you don't trust me or want me to know you.”

“That's not true,” he said, shaking his head furiously. “You know it's not, Garrett. I _do_ want you to know me. I do trust you. I'm sorry that you found out like that when I should have told you myself, but--”

“Is there anything else you're not saying to me?”

“What?”

“I'm asking you now, Edward, straight out, if there's anything else you're not saying to me.”

Edward blinked, his mouth falling open and then closing again. I didn't miss the wounded look in his eyes before he glanced away. “No,” he said softly.

I watched him for a long moment. His anger had disappeared, leaving him looking tired and miserable. He turned his glass in his hands nervously and chewed his lip, and I could tell from the rapid rise and fall of his chest that he _was_ upset. And again, he said nothing.

“Right,” I said quietly.

Something in my voice must have alerted him because his head jerked back toward me and his eyes widened when I pushed back from the table.

“I'm going back to my place, Edward.”

“What? Why?” he said, getting to his feet hastily. “I don't understand.”

“I need some time to think. You're upset and so am I, and if stay here we'll just end up fighting more. I don't want that.”

I tried to give him an encouraging smile, but it faltered in the face of the injury and bewilderment in his expression. Swallowing hard, I turned and walked out, going to the bedroom for my things. Slinging my bag over my shoulder, I walked into the hallway and headed for the door, Edward close behind me.

When I reached for the doorknob, I felt his hand on the small of my back and froze. He kissed my shoulder then, so gently, and I bowed my head.

“I'm sorry, baby,” he murmured softly.

“I know.” I couldn't look at him, so I reached back to press my hand over his.

“Will you call me before you fly home this week?” he asked, and I knew he meant before Thanksgiving. The hesitation in his voice made my throat tighten and ache.

“I'll call you tomorrow, sweetheart,” I whispered, leaning back into him for a moment before I slipped out the door.

ooOOoo

I spent the rest of the afternoon cleaning my apartment, doing laundry, and going through the mail that had been piling up in my absence. I paid my bills and put aside things to take home on my trip to Oregon. I went out to stock up on travel-sized items for my shaving bag and a few staples to store in my fridge.

The whole time, I thought about Edward and the way he had looked at me when I had yelled at him. That he had been embarrassed to tell me about Elizabeth. That he didn't feel loved or wanted by his own mother.

I felt like shit. I was distracted and unable to concentrate on anything more complex than housework. My whole body felt off kilter and unsettled, as if my skin didn't fit.

By eight, I gave up trying to ignore my discomfort, and pulled on my coat before heading out to find a cab. I knew Masen's would be busy, and that Edward was on until closing, but I couldn't bear not clearing the air, even if it meant waiting until two-thirty in the morning.

The bar was crowded when I arrived, but not yet at capacity. I made my way through the patrons, scanning the long bar for Edward as I moved. Jasper, Matheus, and Bella were all working, moving around each other as they worked the crowd. Waving at Malice and Bree, I managed to squeeze my way into an open space at the bar where I caught Jasper's attention.

Jasper poured my drink as he made his way over. “Hey, Garrett.” His sober expression told me that he knew Edward and I had argued.

“Thanks, Jas. Is Edward on his break? I was hoping to talk to him for a minute.”

“Um. Well, he's not here.”

“What? Did he call in sick?”

“Not exactly.” Jasper sighed and looked at his watch. “C'mon outside with me for a minute and we can talk.”

Nodding, I followed him as he walked the length of the bar and then out the door and past the smokers that were clustered near the entrance. He stopped under a streetlight and turned to give me a searching look.

“Ed didn't look so good when he came in, Garrett. Said you'd been fighting and that you kinda walked out on him.”

“I didn't walk out,” I protested weakly. “I told him I needed some time to think about some stuff.”

“You mean about Elizabeth,” Jasper said matter-of-factly, pursing his lips when I nodded. “Well, Gar, I don’t know. How would you feel if you told Edward something that personal, something that embarrassed you, and his reaction was to--”

“Pick a fight and then leave,” I finished for him, and rolled my eyes at myself. “ _Fuck_. I didn't know what to do _except_ leave. If I had stayed, we would have been fighting all fucking night, Jas.”

“Yeah, probably. But you'd have been talking, dude, in between the fighting. And that's a hell of a lot better than begin all sad and sulky and not talking at all.”

I rubbed my hand over the back of my neck. “I know. I know I messed up.”

Jasper blew out a long breath. “Look, I’m sure Edward just gave you the bare bones on his… other family. And those are his stories to tell, so I’m not going to say anything. But he has good reason to distrust Elizabeth. She didn’t take care of him. She chose her husband and those girls they adopted over her own son. And when she hurts him, she hurts his parents too.

“Ed doesn’t let the stuff that happened with her bring him down… and part of that, for him, is not dwelling on it. He just keeps moving on. Pushing his feelings down, though, and just dismissing them; I think it’s a habit now and he does it without meaning to.”

I frowned as something in Jasper’s words hit home. “Who knows about Edward’s other family?”

“Not very many people. Liam and Seth. Me. And now you.”

“Jesus.” My eyes stung with shame and I looked away. “I really need to talk to him. Is he at his apartment?”

“Actually, no,” Jasper said. He looked apologetic when I turned back to meet his eyes. “He came in to start his shift but he was too distracted to be here. I told him to go on home, but he asked to borrow my car instead. He never asks unless he really needs it, so I gave him the keys. He left a couple of hours ago.”

Frustrated by the situation and angry with myself, I stood still for a moment, covering my mouth with one hand while I tried to think what to do next.

“Ed told me he’d have the car back before we close tonight,” Jasper said, looking at me kindly. “He won’t be gone long.”

ooOOoo

I went back to Edward's and let myself in with the key he kept in the hallway. It was after midnight when I heard him come in and I listened to the long pause that told me he knew he wasn’t alone. I heard him take off his shoes and hang his coat on the coat rack before his slow steps brought him into the living room and to the couch where I was waiting. Quietly, he put a smallish brown packing box on the table in front of us before he sat beside me. His eyes were downcast, and I saw fatigue in the way he leaned his elbows against his knees.

 “Hey,” I said softly, and saw the corner of his mouth twitch in a smile. “Where’ve you been?”

“I went to Providence to see Elizabeth.”

Completely surprised, I said nothing for a moment. “What for?”

Edward clasped his hands together. “I finally listened to some of the voicemails she left. She wasn’t just calling about Tanya… which is what I figured anyway. She had a box of my leftover stuff and, ah, thought I’d want it.”

“What kind of stuff?”

“Kid’s stuff, mostly. Report cards, drawings, some school photos. A stuffed animal of mine,” he smiled softly and then sat quietly for a moment. “I figure Esme sent her all of it. She always tried to keep Elizabeth up-to-date with whatever was going on with me.”

Silently, I laid my hand between his shoulders and rubbed slow circles over his spine. I saw his eyes slide closed, and he drew a breath in before speaking again.

“She was surprised to hear from me; I think she was expecting me to drag my feet some more.”

“How did it go?” I asked. “Was she… were you okay?”

“It was fine,” he said easily. “There’s a diner near her neighborhood that serves really great pie. I ate dinner and we had pie when she showed up.”

Though his voice was light, the side of Edward’s face was flushed pink, and I knew that he was struggling with his words. Carefully, I leaned forward to lay my cheek against his shoulder. He leaned into my touch at once, though lightly, and I heard him sigh when I threaded my arms around him.

We sat silently for a little while before he spoke gain.

“I used to think it was me… when I was a kid, you know? That I wasn’t good enough and that’s why she left.”

My heart ached and I swallowed hard before I raised my face to kiss his cheek softly. “You know that’s not true, right?”

His voice dropped lower as he spoke. “Yeah. It was hard sometimes when I was growing up, but I figured it out for the most part as I got older. I still think that way sometimes. That there's no way I'm good enough, especially for someone like you. It makes me hide.”

Slowly, he turned his head and pressed mouth to my ear, raising his hands to rest his cool fingers against the sides of my neck.

“I'm sorry,” he whispered.

“I'm sorry too, sweetheart,” I told him, tightening my arms around him.

“I should have told you about Elizabeth and her family.”

“I shouldn't have walked away when we were arguing.”

Edward pulled back to look at me, moving his hands to frame my face. His green eyes were tired and worried, but hopeful, too. Carefully, I leaned forward and brushed my lips over his softly, wanting to comfort him as we watched each other.

“I trust you, Gar,” he said quietly, his lips moving against mine.

“I trust you too, sweetheart,” I reassured him, pressing small kisses against his mouth until I felt his hands tighten slightly along my jaw.

A look came over Edward's face, smoothing away the uncertainty I saw there. There was trust and faith in his expression, and his eyes shone with what I had to believe was love.

I thought of how often Edward had reached out to me emotionally during our relationship, despite his fears. He had initiated our friendship and drawn me out of my shell. He had taken those first, small steps toward becoming a couple, drawing me along with him. He was the one that broke new ground, leading me each time with conviction and tenderness. As my comprehension grew, so did an overwhelming need to tell him how I felt.

Before I could speak, Edward licked his lips and looked at me very seriously. “This afternoon, you asked me if I've been keeping anything from you. I have, actually.”

“Can I say one thing?” I said, smiling softly at him when his forehead puckered.

“Of course you can.”

“I've been keeping something from you, too. And I don't want to anymore. I want you to know everything about how I feel about you.” I drew him a little closer against me, breathing in the smell of clean laundry and man.

“I love you, Edward.”

Edward's face went slack with surprise for a moment before he gave me a blinding smile. His eyes crinkled at the corners and he ran his hands through my hair before he gave me a short, hard kiss.

“I love you, too,” he said, pulling back once more. “God, I love you, Garrett.”

He kissed me deeply, and the feeling of his tongue sliding against mine was so damned good. We were both gasping for breath when I pulled back, and I laughed softly at his pout.

“Come on, sweetheart,” I murmured as I stood, holding my hand out toward him. “Your sofa's nice, but I need you in a bed.”

“God,” Edward mumbled before he followed me out of the room.

We were hardly inside the door when he pulled me back against him and continued his assault on my mouth. We fumbled with our clothes, pulling them off one another blindly until we stood nude in the low light of Edward's room.

“Want you,” Edward said between kisses, guiding me toward the bed until the backs of my knees hit the mattress.

My voice was low, almost a hiss when I answer. “Yes. Fuck me, Ed.”

He walked around the bed to the nightstand while I slid back on the mattress, settling against the pillows. I eyed his lithe body hungrily as he bent to find a condom and lube, and reached between my legs to stroke myself.

“Jesus,” Edward murmured when he looked up. His eyes flared with heat and he paused for just a moment before he flipped open the bottle of lube and drizzled some on his hand. He climbed on to the bed and walked over on his knees, settling between my spread legs.

He bent to kiss me while his cool, wet fingers teased my ass. “God, you're beautiful.”

I dragged him down, kissing him fiercely and moaning when he slid a finger inside me, and then another. He worked me thoroughly, while his mouth found its way across my jaw and neck. Slowly, he kissed my neck and nibbled my collarbone, then paused to lick the hollow in my throat. I panted and groaned as he continued his descent, kissing my chest and tonguing my nipples. The touch of his lips on the tender skin of my inner thighs sent my senses spinning.

“Fuck,” I breathed, tugging at his hair gently while he hummed in approval. His misunderstanding made me chuckle, and I gave another tug to make him look up at me in question.

“Need you inside me.” I gulped at the sight of his gorgeous face between my legs and the feel of his teeth rasping along my skin. “Please.”

He pushed back to sit on his heels, making quick work of getting the condom out of its wrapper and rolling it on. He grinned when I sat up too, and patted the mattress beside me.

“Let me sit in your lap, sweetheart.”

Edward quickly crawled past me and sat against the headboard, holding out his hands to steady me as I swung my leg over to settle into his lap. I grabbed the bottle of lube from the nightstand and slicked one hand before I wrapped it around his cock. He hissed and his eyelids fluttered as I stroked him, his hands tightening on my skin. He said nothing when I stopped and then slowly used the same hand to guide me inside him. But the look on his face told me how turned on he was. His eyes were wild and his mouth hung open slightly, and then he bit his lip when I slid slowly down over him.

“Oh, God, so good,” he said, his hands moving over my shoulders and chest. His breaths sped when I started moving, and I watched his eyes glaze over. “You make me feel so good, Gar.”

“It does feel good,” I agreed, rolling my hips a little faster and harder until I found the pace I wanted. “Love making you feel good, Ed.”

Edward moaned in reply and dropped one hand to fist my cock, his other hand keeping me steady when I arched my back in pleasure. The feel of him, so hot and hard inside me, and the sound of our skins sliding and breaths mixing together quickly brought me to the edge. I yelped when he thrust up, his hips meeting my ass as I drove down.

“Fuck! Need to come,” I said, begging him with my voice and words.

“Love you, baby,” he told me in a low, urgent voice. His fist tightened over my dick and he thrust up hard, snapping the final thread of my control and making me shout.

“Coming, coming, ah, shit,” I managed to moan out. My cock lurched in Edward’s hand, spurting come between us. “Love you, love you so much.”

My head spun. I leaned forward, pulling him close and rocking hard against him, needing him to come, too. Edward shook and moaned, thrusting hard until his rhythm faltered. He buried his face in my neck as he came, throbbing deep inside me, and his mumbled curses were mixed with kisses against my skin.

ooOOoo

“You’re going to be so tired tomorrow,” Edward said.

It was past one in the morning and we were lying together in his bed, our skin still damp from the shower. I smiled against his shoulder, and he pressed his lips to my forehead, his hand tracing lazy circles on my back.

“Its fine,” I told him, snuggling closer into his warm body. “We’ve got a short week coming up, so things will be quieter.”

“Are you ready for Oregon?”

“Yeah, it’ll be fun.” I sighed and kissed his shoulder. “I’ll miss you.”

“Me too. It’s only for a few days, though. I know your family misses you.” Edward’s voice was quiet and drowsy.

“I know. I wish… for the first time, I wish they didn’t live so far away. I want them to meet you.”

I felt Edward’s smile against my temple as his arms tightened around me. “Maybe we can Skype while you’re there.”

“I’d like that,” I said happily.

“I could introduce you to Tanya, maybe,” he continued. “I’m giving her a ride to Providence on Wednesday night. We could have pie and coffee from the diner with you and your family.”

My heart felt like it would burst. I closed my eyes and nuzzled against him, telling him with my body how much his gesture meant.

“I can’t wait.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aw, their first fight. But the "I love yous" made up for it, I think ;)
> 
> Thank you for reading.
> 
> I have a few more things bouncing around in my head; I'll be back. Thanks for hanging in there with me.
> 
> Notes:
> 
> A Pavlova is a baked meringue dessert, often decorated with whipped cream and fruit.
> 
> The Clash were an English punk band formed in the mid-1970.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ohemgee, hi again. I missed these boys soooo much and they would not leave me alone.
> 
> Thank you to the fabulous word wrangler, Discordia81 - she makes my chapters better.
> 
> This is a slash story.

"Your boyfriend's pretty cool, Gar."

I smiled in agreement with my brother as we watched Edward and Matheus laughing at the other end of the bar.

"Yeah. I'm glad you had a chance to hang out with him this week, Pete."

It was Friday night, ten days before Christmas, and Masen's was crowded with noisy, cheerful patrons very obviously embracing the holiday spirit. Peter was scheduled to take the last flight out of the city that night, and we had stopped into the bar for a sandwich before I drove him to the airport. Watching my sandy-haired, conservatively dressed brother mixing with the characters in the bar was a surreal experience, but one I enjoyed. From the grin on Peter's face, I guessed he was enjoying it, too.

Peter's job as a software engineer in Portland didn't allow for much travel, and it was rare that he came to the East Coast. When he had flown in for a conference earlier in the week, he extended his stay by a few days to spend time with me. He asked to meet Edward, and the three of us went out on Edward's night off to eat pizza and play pool.

As I introduced them, I was acutely aware how much my coming out had rocked Peter's easygoing sensibilities; the brother he had grown up with was, forever, someone very different. We talked over a large pie and bottle of Cabernet, and I realized almost at once how much Peter and Edward had in common, in both taste and temperament. They easily fell into conversation, and seemed genuinely comfortable with the other in a very short time. Something flashed in Peter's eyes on several occasions as he watched Edward, and especially Edward with me. I couldn't quite place the emotions that crossed his face, but they were always replaced with a smile that warmed me.

It was an easy, mellow evening that I considered a dress rehearsal for my upcoming Christmas trip home; this year, Edward was traveling to Portland with me. He Skyped with my family and spoke on the phone, and I knew my parents were charmed by his genuine likeability. The face to face meeting made me anxious, however, because I knew how deeply my parents had doted on Kate during the years we were married. They were deeply wounded by our divorce and, a year later, still grieved for the relationship. By introducing them to Edward, I hoped to help them move on. If all went well, they would take to him as Peter had, and I was sure they would love him if they gave themselves a chance.

I smiled now as my brother cocked his head in confusion. "What, er... what are those two up to?"

My eyes flicked back toward the bar in time to catch Matheus pushing Edward in the direction of the stereo. Both men were laughing and stealing glances at Jasper, whose back was turned.

"Oh, the bartenders like to mess with each other during their shifts," I said. "You'll see."

As soon as the words left my mouth, _John the Revelator's_ heavy bass line began pumping from the speakers, followed by a roar from the crowd in the bar. Jasper froze in his tracks and bowed his head, waiting for what he knew was coming next. Edward caught my eye and winked as he turned, raising his hands to his mouth to let loose a whoop immediately echoed by the crowd.

Peter's eyes widened when Edward and Matheus pulled Jasper toward the middle of the bar. The blond bartender rolled his eyes dramatically, briefly hamming it up for the crowd before giving them what they wanted. My brother's mouth fell open as he watched Jasper grind and twist in time to the music and his surprise became amusement when Malice and Bella stood on chairs to dance along. Peter sang along with the lyrics, swaying his shoulders in time to the crowd's pounding hands and stomping feet, and whistled loudly when Jasper bowed at the song's close.

"They do this every night?" Peter asked when the noise died down a bit.

"There's no set schedule, but it usually happens at least once a night when it's busy." I sipped my ginger ale, watching the bartenders hustle and smiling at Edward as he struggled to make his way over to us. "Edward and Matheus started it, playing pranks when they were bored. Now they all take turns trying to spring the songs on each other."

"They seem fun."

I looked at Peter and grinned at the enjoyment in his blue eyes.

He laughed at his own random observation before continuing. "No, really. They seem cool and like good people. I'm glad you have friends here. They're a lot like your buddies from high school, now that I think about it. Well, except for, you know...."

"These buddies being largely gay," I finished dryly when he hesitated.

"Well, yeah, there's that." He looked sheepish and rubbed the bridge of his nose with his thumb. "Sorry, that was kind of weird."

"It's okay, Pete, I'm glad you don't mind talking about it. And you're right about them being a lot like the high school crowd. Probably more than you know, actually."

My brother blinked, sitting quietly for a moment before he raised a brow in question.

"I ran into Ty Crowley at PDX over Thanksgiving. He was on his way back to San Francisco with his boyfriend." My smile widened as surprise and then comprehension dawned in Peter's eyes.

"Haaaay," Edward drawled as he stepped up behind the bar. He was wearing a vintage _Lucky Charms_ t-shirt and an impish smile. His cheeks were flushed from the heat of the bar and exertion, and he looked happy and puckish, and really fucking cute. He moved to refill my glass, nodding at my brother's beer bottle. "Get you another, Peter?"

"Actually, we should get going." I glanced at my watch. "Your flight is at ten, Pete, and you'll need time to get through security."

Peter nodded ruefully as he pushed away from the bar. "Yeah, I guess you're right. I want to grab a coffee, too, so I can work on the flight."

"Dude, what the fuck is wrong with you? You should _sleep_ on the flight."

"You two should both get the hell out of here before Matheus makes you dance behind the bar," Edward teased. He nodded at Peter and extended a hand over the bar. "I guess I'll see you a couple of days before Christmas."

My brother smiled as they shook hands. "Hey, thanks for the beers and dinner, Edward. I had a good time in here tonight. You guys have a fun thing going on here."

Edward looked pleased and then cocked his head. "Peter, is this your first time in a gay bar?" He grinned widely when my brother nodded and began rummaging under the bar. "Well, hot damn. You need a t-shirt!"

My chuckle turned into full-blown laughter when he handed Peter a bright red shirt with _Masen's Popped My Cherry_ emblazoned across the chest.

Peter laughed too, shaking his head and stuttering out a 'thank you' as his face flushed redder than the shirt.

Edward winked and smiled kindly. "Seriously, come back any time. With _or_ without your brother." He turned his eyes on me, wrinkling his nose like a saucy schoolboy.

I narrowed my eyes at him. "Uh-huh. Picking sides already, huh, Cullen? I see how it is."

"Aw, don't be that way, love." Edward reached to squeeze my shoulder. "No way have I forgotten which brother is my favorite."

ooOOoo

Peter was quiet during the ride to the airport, seeming to withdraw into himself. I glanced at him as I drove; wondering what had brought on the change. More than once, I began to speak and then stopped, unsure of how to begin. We were moving through the tunnels winding under city toward Logan when I felt his gaze on me.

"What's going on, Pete?"

"Just thinking." He smiled when I glanced his way. "I'm going to ask Charlotte to marry me. I asked her dad for his blessing the day before I flew out here."

My heart swelled with happiness and I couldn't stop a huge grin from spreading across my face. "That's fantastic! Why didn't you tell me before? I'm so happy for you, man, really."

"Thanks, Gar." Peter's cheeks flushed with pleasure, and he looked genuinely pleased by my reaction. "I was going to tell you earlier this week, but, I don't know, I could never find the right time."

"Do Mom and Dad know already?"

"Ah, no, I'm going to wait to tell the rest of the family after I actually do the proposing thing. I think Char might be kind of pissed if she's the last one to find out."

We laughed together at that and talked for a few minutes about how Peter planned to propose. With a little probing, he admitted to having done exhaustive research into the so-called "four c's" of diamonds, driving his female coworkers crazy in the process with questions. In the end, though, he had simply gone into a jeweler's and found an engagement ring that most closely resembled our mother's.

"I figured that ring worked for them for all these years," he said thoughtfully. "Maybe the same kind of ring will work for Char and me."

I felt a pang to realize that my brother had found his way toward this milestone without mentioning it to me, but shoved the thoughts away immediately. Peter was my younger brother, but also a grown man capable of making his own decisions. On top of that, neither of us could do anything about the geography and time zones separating us.

"So when is the big reveal? The popping of the question and telling of the family?" I asked. We were parked in the drop off lot outside of Peter's departure terminal and I frowned when his eyes shifted away.

"I'm going to ask Charlotte on the twenty-third," he said quietly. "She thinks we're having dinner with friends but I'm taking her out instead. We'll tell her family on Christmas Eve and then I'd like to tell Mom and Dad at Christmas dinner."

"That sounds like as good a plan as any. You know Mom and Dad love her." I furrowed my brow as he nodded silently, his gaze fixed on the hands folded in his lap. "Are... are you nervous Char will say no or something?"

Peter's eyes snapped up to meet mine. "No. Not at all. I know she'll say yes."

"So what's with the long face?"

"I'm... shit." My brother sighed and started again. "Don't take this the wrong way, Gar, but I guess I feel like whatever you've got going on with your boyfriend is going to be a bigger deal to Mom and Dad than anything Char and I do."

My mouth went slack as Peter's words sunk in. His expression shifted as he watched me, growing remorseful.

"Pete, are you really saying that you think Edward's presence at Christmas dinner is going to overshadow your _engagement_? Please tell me you're not serious."

"I don't think that. Okay, yes, maybe I do. Fuck." Peter rubbed his hand over his face roughly. "I shouldn't have said that. I'm not sure why I did."

All of the happiness I had felt a few minutes before was gone, replaced by a hollow feeling.

"You said it because you meant it." I shook my head when he opened his mouth to protest. "On some level you did mean it, Pete. I guess I can see where you're coming from, in a way. My bringing someone home now is kind of a big deal. And Edward _is_ a man. That's a new one for our family.

"But you couldn't be more wrong. Mom and Dad are going to be over the moon. Nothing is going to make your news any less wonderful to them, and Edward and I would never try to, I don't know; get in the way of your plans. Tell me you know that."

My brother's forehead puckered with concern as he read the sadness in my face and heard it in my voice. "I do know that. Damn it, I'm sorry, Gar. I didn't mean to hurt your feelings."

I nodded and turned to look through the windshield for a moment, letting out a long breath. "Do you want me to cancel our trip? Edward and I could fly in for New Year's instead, if that would be better; I'm pretty sure we can work out new schedules."

"What? Jesus, no, Garrett, that is absolutely not what I want. You're my brother and I want you there when we tell the families. You _and_ Edward," he added, the emphasis in his words strong enough to persuade me that he meant them.

We sat in silence for a long moment before I nodded at the clock. "Okay. We'd better get you inside, bro. You don't want to fuck around when it comes to the TSA."

ooOOoo

I opted not to go back to the bar after dropping my car off at the garage. My conversation with Peter left me feeling raw and unsteady, and not much in the mood for the rowdy crowd at Masen's. As much as I hated hiding things from Edward, I felt sure I couldn't tell him about my brother's comments before the trip to Portland. If I knew him at all, he would be hurt but try to hide it, and then find a way to back out of the trip, something I absolutely did not want to happen.

Hailing a cab, I texted Edward to tell him I was tired, and bought a six-pack of beer on my way to his apartment. I spent the rest of the evening on his couch, ignoring a _No Reservations_ marathon on TV while trying to process the conversation I'd had with Peter.

It was late when I crawled into Edward's bed. I meant to stay awake, but the beer made me drowsy and I drifted off, waking only when a warm body settled behind mine.

"Hey, sweetheart," I murmured, covering his arm when it wrapped around my waist.

"Shhh. Go back to sleep," he whispered. "I'm sorry I woke you."

"Don't want sleep." I turned in his arms to face him, pressing kisses against his chin and jaw. "I want you."

Edward's hands came up to frame my face as he kissed me, his legs tangling with mine. I drew him closer and slipped my knees between his, pushed by an intense need to feel his skin against mine. There was an edge to my desire, a feeling almost of anxiety, which I pushed away as I kissed him, instead chasing my desire.

We were panting when Edward pulled away, and I groaned when he bent his head to nip at the skin on my neck.

"Need you."

"I'm here, baby," he said, licking my Adam's apple. "I love you, Gar."

My throat grew tight, making my whisper thin as I replied. "Love you too."

Edward gasped when I dropped a hand between his legs. I pushed him back against the pillows and he lay still for long moments as I stroked him, his head thrown back in pleasure. He murmured when I teased his balls and shuddered when my fingertips brushed along the cleft of his ass, spurring him into motion again. He moved and flipped us, grinding hungrily against me, and kissed me until my eyes were rolling in my head.

"Can I fuck you?" he asked roughly when he broke away, and I nodded, uttering a low whine that sent him scrambling for the supplies in the nightstand.

The moments that Edward was gone seemed too long, but the little noises he made reassured me. The scrape of the drawer, the lube bottle's click, foil ripping, and his needy groan as he stroked himself and slid the condom over his cock.

I let out a long, shaky breath when his wet fingers slid inside me, the need to be filled making me buck into his hand. He worked me until I was a thrashing, mumbling mess, begging him to fuck me. I gave a low cry when he finally pushed inside me.

"Fucking beautiful," he said, rolling against me. "You're so beautiful, baby."

I wrapped my arms and legs around him, pulling him closer and deeper, wanting more and more and more. "Oh, God. Need you so much, Ed. So much."

He kissed me deeply as he drove into me, setting me on fire with each movement. I reached down to touch myself, gasping when he batted my hand away, and the feeling of his long fingers around me drove me toward the edge. He stroked me, murmuring in my ear and urging me to let go until I was flying.

I fell hard, back arched and head pressed into the pillow while my cock pulsed between us. It seemed forever before I floated back down, and slowly I became aware of Edward's ragged breaths as his body flexed and trembled while he came. The feeling of him rolling away brought me back to myself, and he chuckled when I stopped him, dragging him down to lay half on top of me while we caught our breath.

"Mmm, now I'm not sorry I woke you," Edward said, his lips brushing my forehead.

"Same. I'm glad you're home." The emotions I had been battling all evening crashed over me in a wave of fatigue as I snuggled against him, ignoring the mess cooling on my skin.

"Let me get something to clean us up, baby," he murmured, giggling again when I tightened my grip around him. "Let go, you monkey. I'll be right back."

When we were clean and tucked under the quilt again, Edward drew me against his chest, smoothing my hair with his fingers while I listened to the steady thud of his heart. He grew still, his breaths evening out, and I thought he was asleep until his voice rumbled through his chest.

"You okay, Gar?"

My chest constricted when I realized that he had somehow picked up on my mood, though I wasn't surprised. No one, not even Kate, paid attention to me the way Edward did, or had taken the time to get to know me so well and thoroughly. He was attuned to my moods unlike any lover I'd ever had, and seemed often to understand what I needed better than I did myself.

I pressed a kiss against his skin and rubbed his chest with my hand, breathing deeply to steady my voice. "Yeah, sweetheart. I'm good."

ooOOoo

I stuck close to Edward that weekend, even more so than usual. We were always affectionate with one another, but what I felt was colored with an edge of neediness that was new. I was driven to touch him at all times and to be near him, and had to work hard to mask the anxiety I was feeling with smiles.

More than once, I caught a speculative look in Edward's eyes when they met mine, as though he was trying to puzzle something out. Whatever he thought of my behavior, he was sweet and attentive, while still careful to give me space. He held me tightly when we lay in bed at night, his breath warm on my skin when he whispered that he loved me. I wrapped myself around him, murmuring those same sweet words like a mantra when he pushed inside me, when we came, when we fell exhausted into sleep.

ooOOoo

Monday morning, I woke up feeling not right. It took a lot of effort to drag myself out of bed and into the shower, and my head felt heavy as I sat on the edge of the bed beside Edward. He stirred under the quilt and smiled when I smoothed the hair back from his forehead, turning his face to kiss the hand I used to cup his cheek.

"Have a good day, baby," he mumbled, his eyes still closed. "I'll see you tonight."

I made my way to work on autopilot, steering through the crowds on the subways and sidewalks without really seeing them. With no appetite and a pulsing buzz in my head, I drew the shades in my office and plowed doggedly through the stacks on my desk, ignoring the very obvious fact that I felt completely awful.

My door opened at noon, and I squinted into the bright light pouring into the room.

"Ugh, shut that, will you?"

"Jesus, you look like hammered shit," said a voice as jarringly bright as the sunlight.

"Thanks," I muttered. "Always good to get an opinion on what kind of shit I look like."

My assistant, Emily, lowered her voice as she approached my desk. "I know you haven't had anything but coffee today, Garrett, so don't even pretend you're not feeling like crap. I brought you some soup from the deli. It's out at my desk, if you think you can eat it."

My stomach clenched at the idea of food of any kind. "Thanks, Em, but no thanks. I'm really not hungry."

"Seriously, boss, you look terrible. You shouldn't be here. Why don't you go home and back to bed?"

"I don't have time to be sick. I'm flying to Portland on Friday and I have a lot of shit to get through before I go. I'm meeting Edward and Seth for dinner tonight, too—"

"Then take your work home with you," she coaxed, cutting me off. "You can write briefs at your apartment just as easily as you can here. I'll redirect your calls to your cell if that's what you want, and maybe you'll feel better by the time you have to go out tonight."

I looked from the stacks on my desk to Emily's encouraging expression, nodding as I realized how good the idea of being in my apartment sounded.

"Okay. No calls though; just put them through to my voicemail and I'll pick them up as they come in."

"Got it boss-man."

"Don't call me that."

"Ten-four, dude."

"Please, shut up, Emily."

She sighed. "I'll call you cab."

ooOOoo

By the time I let myself into my apartment, I was shivering and utterly dead on my feet— I had nearly drifted off in the cab during the short ride home. Rather than even trying to work, I left my things in the entryway and went straight to the bedroom, removing my shoes and tie, and shrugging out of my suit jacket before crawling into bed. I buried my face in my pillow to block out the too-bright room, aware that a thought was nagging at my brain. Before I could puzzle it out, a wave of exhaustion overtook me, and I sank into sleep.

ooOOoo

I woke when cool fingers brushed my cheek.

"Garrett? Wake up, baby."

"Mmm," I mumbled without opening my eyes.

Edward's voice was low and comforting. "Let's get this stuff off you, okay? I want you to be more comfortable."

I opened my eyes, and immediately squinted against the light from the bedside lamp.

"What time is it?"

"Six-thirty."

Edward turned me onto my back, unbuttoning my shirt and cuffs before he gently helped me to sit up. My head was hot and swimming while my muscles ached, making me sway in place until he steadied me.

"Is it morning?"

"No, baby, it's still Monday night."

I was shivering by the time he got me out of my button-down, my skin pebbling beneath my undershirt.

"Cold," I muttered through clenched teeth, coughing as Edward guided me back down against the pillows.

"I'm sorry," he soothed, rubbing my arms with his hands. "Just another minute. I want to take your temperature, okay?"

I crossed my arms over my chest to warm myself as he coaxed my lips open with the thermometer, slipping it in my mouth before moving to work on my trousers and socks. Shifting on the bed to help him, I coughed around the probe as more of my skin was exposed to the air. The thermometer pinged when Edward pulled the blankets over me, and I felt his lips against my forehead before I turned on my side to burrow deeper under the bedding.

Edward's hands woke me again, helping me to sit up over my groggy noise of protest.

"What happened?"

"You've got a fever, Garrett. You need to take something before you go back to sleep."

His gentle touch brushed my lips again, this time slipping pills into my mouth. The smooth edge of a glass followed, and cool water to help me swallow. I closed my eyes and leaned against him, coughing in between sips of water. He held the glass while I drank, his arm and body steady around me, and piled the blankets over me when I lay down again.

ooOOoo

The lamp was on when Edward helped me sit up again. My head felt swollen but somehow light and my muscles ached so deeply that I winced when I moved.

"It's night?"

"Yeah, baby, it's late." He slipped the thermometer into my mouth, holding me up while I sagged against his shoulder and coughed with my eyes closed. "You need something again for your fever."

I took the pills and swallowed water in between coughs, suddenly aware that every part of me was parched and hot.

"Tired," I whispered as he helped me lie down.

"I know. You can sleep." He rubbed my back for a moment before speaking again. "I'll be right back—just going to deadbolt the door, okay?"

It was while Edward was gone that I understood I needed to pee. With a groan, I hauled myself up, moving very slowly to sit at the edge of the mattress. I tried to stand, but my knees shook, making me sit back down before they buckled.

"Fuck," I muttered, bowing my head when the coughing started up again.

"Whoa, whoa, what are you doing?" Edward was suddenly at my side, his arms closing around me.

The fever that made me weak also made me emotional, and a lump inexplicably rose in my throat. "I gotta take a leak?"

"Okay." Edward's quiet voice centered me. "C'mon, let's get you into the bathroom and you can call me when you're done."

ooOOoo

Weak, grey light was filtering through the shades the next time I opened my eyes. Edward lay behind me, one arm loose around my waist while his breath ghosted across the back of my neck.

My body was hot and dry, and my head felt stuffed and fuzzy. Shifting in place, I bit back a groan at the deep aches in my muscles. I couldn't stop myself from coughing, though, and turned my face into my pillow to try to stifle the noise.

Edward stirred at once, getting out of bed and coming around to my side to steady me while I hacked. He was ready with another glass of water when I finished coughing, propping me up so I could drink.

"Damn it," I rasped, my voice squeaky from coughing and fever. "Sorry."

"What for?" He frowned, holding up the thermometer.

"Didn't mean to wake you," I managed before the probe was in my mouth.

He sighed and turned to the nightstand for more pills. "Don't be dumb."

Edward's expression was sober when he looked at me again. His hair was a bigger mess than usual, his eyes were red behind his glasses, and he looked both tired and dissatisfied as he read the thermometer.

"You're gonna get sick, Ed."

"I had a flu shot before Halloween, I'll be okay. You're still pretty hot, though. How do you feel?"

"Shitty."

"Did you eat at all yesterday? Are you hungry?" He ran the backs of his knuckles against my cheek

"I don't know… not really," I said with a yawn. "Thanks for doing this."

"You're welcome, you ridiculous man." His smile was soft. "Go back to sleep."

I turned on to my side and closed my eyes, listening as Edward rose and made his way around the bed again. The mattress dipped under his weight as he settled in beside me, and I curled myself around his body.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know that was not a nice place to end things, but the next chapter is written and should go up next week. Garrett was *really* chatty that one chapter became two.  
> Thank you for reading and for hanging in there with me.
> 
> Oh, if you feel like het with your slash, Discordia81 and I submitted an entry, 'Off The Rails', for the Public Lovin' Contest. Four words: Jasper, Bella, Edward, Riley. LOL. http://www.fanfiction.net/s/8717533/1/
> 
> Notes:  
> I took some creative liberties with the flight times from Logan Airport to PDX.  
> Lucky Charms is a brand of cereal with frosted oat pieces and multi-colored marbits a.k.a. marshmallow bits.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, friends - I'll let you get to it.
> 
> Thank you to my fabulous beta, Discordia81, who gets my madness. I did tinker a bit after she sent this chapter back; all mistakes are even more mine than usual.

My cough and fever persisted for most of the week before Christmas. Edward kept up a steady supply of Tylenol and flu medicine, and made sure that I didn't fall over in the bathroom and shower. He coaxed me with juices, toast, and seemingly endless quantities of chicken soup, though I was more interested in sleep than anything else.

During my lucid moments, I watched Edward as he kept house and took care of me, noting his often intense expressions and obvious concern that I was so ill. I sometimes woke late at night to find him sleeping beside me, and wondered at how strange and right it felt knowing he was there.

It wasn't until Friday that my fever receded enough to allow my head to truly clear. I was weak and shaky, and the heavy coughing had reduced my voice to a hoarse whisper, but I finally felt some semblance of normalcy. By mid-morning, we were sitting in bed while I slowly ate breakfast, and Edward smiled as he ran a thumb over my unshaven cheek.

"I like this scruff, Gar. It's hot."

"Matches yours," I croaked, elbowing him gently when he snorted. "We look like vagrants."

"You actually look a lot better," he said before he sipped his coffee.

"I feel a lot better."

"Even with your voice like that?"

I shrugged and pushed away the half-eaten plate of food. "Yeah. My body still hurts, but at least my brain is working again … I can finally think straight."

"Thank fuck." Edward looked down, fiddling with the hem of his _Monkees_ t-shirt. "You seemed confused. Restless … talking in your sleep, especially at night. Fever dreams, I suppose. It was weird." His face was tight when he met my gaze again.

I took his hand. "I'm sorry."

"There's nothing to apologize for," he insisted. "It's not like you planned to get sick, Garrett."

"I know. I never asked you; how did you know I was here?"

"Seth and I waited for you at the pub. When you didn't show up or answer my calls, I figured something wasn't right. I called your office and caught Emily on her way out. She told me you'd gone home sick, so I grabbed a cab and came over."

"Shit. I should have called you. I think I meant to? I just wanted to go to sleep when I finally made it home." I felt completely humbled. "Thank you for being here."

"Where else would I be, Gar?"

The quiet certainty in Edward's voice and the love in his green eyes made my chest tighten. Unable to trust what little voice I had left, I raised his hand to my lips and smiled when he turned it to cup my cheek.

His tone was light when he spoke again. "How about a shower?"

The thought of a long, hot shower made me groan, particularly when I imagined a wet, soapy Edward beside me. I wasn't in any shape to fool around, but I was not averse to ogling my boyfriend. "God, yes. With you, please."

His eyes narrowed, though his lips curled in a small smile as he got up to clear the bed tray. "You need to behave yourself, Garrett. And I need to change the sheets first."

"You're no fucking fun."

"That's not what your mom said last night."

"God, Ed, _gross_."

Edward laughed loudly as he carried the tray to the kitchen, and the sound made me smile—it felt like it had been too long since I'd heard it. He looked apologetic when he walked back into the bedroom, though, and took my hand after sitting beside me again.

"You need to call your parents, baby. Emily canceled your flight reservations yesterday, but she didn't tell your mom and dad. They need to hear it from you."

"I know," I whispered. "I feel terrible; they were really looking forward to seeing us."

"They understand," he soothed. "I told them how sick you've been and—"

I frowned in confusion. "You did? When was that?"

"Earlier in the week," he began, pausing when his phone buzzed on the nightstand. He smiled at the screen as he picked it up. "Speak of the mother and she shall call."

"The mother … my mother?"

He shot me a wink as he took the call. "Hello, Claire. Garrett and I were just talking about calling you."

I cocked my head, a smile slowly spreading on my face as I listened to Edward chat with my mom. He spoke to my parents on occasion, but always during my own calls home to Portland. Knowing that he and my mother were now calling each other directly charmed me to no end.

"Yes, he seems to be feeling better," Edward was saying, a soft expression in his eyes as he watched me. "His fever is lower, he had some eggs for breakfast, and he's been awake and talking like a human for almost forty minutes with no sign of passing out again."

My snort turned into a coughing fit and Edward frowned, rubbing my leg with his free hand while I pulled myself together.

"Yes, ma'am, hang on one second." He raised his brows as he held the phone toward me. "You okay to talk for a little longer?"

I nodded and cleared my throat, somehow managing to sound even worse when I spoke. "Mom, hi."

"Oh, Garrett, honey! You sound terrible."

"I know. I sound worse than I feel, honestly."

Edward shifted to get out bed, but I tugged him back, tucking him against my side as my mother and I talked. I filled her in on the nasty flu I'd managed to catch and reassured her that I was on the mend.

"Well, I'm certainly glad you're starting to feel better," she said. "I could tell from Edward's voice when we spoke that he was worried about you."

"Yeah, I could tell the same," I said, rubbing Edward's thigh through his scrubs.

"Your dad and I were hoping you'd be better in time to come home ... but from the way you sound that seems unlikely, doesn't it?"

I swallowed at the sadness in her voice. "I'm really sorry, Mom. I still have a fever and I'm just not up for that long flight. I canceled our reservations yesterday."

"I was afraid of that," she sighed. "You're right to stay at home, of course; you'd probably get even sicker if you made the trip. I'm just disappointed that we won't see you at Christmas."

My heart ached as she went on to tell me how much the family would miss us, and I felt worse knowing about the pending news of Peter and Charlotte's engagement. The hurt eased a bit, however, as our talk turned to Edward. My parents' kind thoughts toward Edward from the week before had changed into sincere and abundant praise.

"We're so grateful he was there for you, sweetie. Just from speaking to him, we knew he was really looking after you."

"I'm not sure how I would have managed without him, Mom."

She sighed heavily, her voice soft when she spoke again. "It bothered me to know you were sick and so far away, Garrett. I'm glad you found someone who cares for you. Peter told me how much fun he had with you all when he was in Boston. Your dad and I are really looking forward to finally meeting your young man in person."

"I'm glad to hear that, Mom," I said gently. "I hope that happens soon."

By the time we hung up, promising to talk again on Christmas day, I was beginning to feel tired again. With a sigh, I laid back against the pillows, snuggling into Edward's warm body.

"Since when does my mom have your number?" I whispered. "And since when do you call her Claire?"

"Since I answered your phone Tuesday morning." The sleepiness in Edward's voice surprised me, and I turned my head to find him looking at me from under drooping lids. "I heard your phone chiming Monday night and Tuesday morning. You were still out of it, so I checked the screen and picked up when I realized it was your mom. I thought that maybe she'd worry if she didn't hear from you... I figured answering would be okay ...?"

"Very okay; I'm glad you did," I said when he trailed off, then frowned at the glazed look in his eyes. "You tired, sweetheart?"

"Nah, I'm okay. You know me—I never pass up a chance to crash."

He sat up, stretching his neck and shoulders before he shook himself, but I could read the weariness in his face. It occurred to me that, while Edward hadn't been at work, the past few days taking care of me hadn't exactly been restful either.

"You need a nap."

Edward shook his head. "No way, man. I need to change these sheets and then we need to get in the shower." His nose wrinkled playfully. "We can talk about a nap when you smell better, stinky."

An hour later, we were buried under a mound of clean bedding, feeling warm and drowsy from the shower. Sunlight poured through the windows as I lay with my cheek on Edward's shoulder, his arms linked loosely around me.

"Gar?"

"Yeah?"

"You think you could eat a sandwich later?"

"Stop playing nurse," I scolded.

"I'm not," he protested sleepily. "Planning for later. I'm hungry but too lazy to get up right now."

"Okay, then. Yes. To the sandwich, I mean. And some of that soup you've been giving me." I chuckled when his stomach rumbled. "Are you sure you don't want to eat now?"

"Very fucking sure. So comfortable."

"Me too. Where did that soup come from, anyway?"

"I made it." Edward's voice was a low rumble and he tried, unsuccessfully, to swallow a yawn. "It's my mom's recipe. I asked her to pick up a few groceries when she brought me a change of clothes on … Tuesday, I think."

Tenderness surged through me and I turned my head to press my lips against his skin. "Jesus, Edward. You are too good to me."

His mouth moved in a smile against my temple. "No worries. You can pay me back in blowjobs when you're feeling better."

ooOOoo

Edward went back to work at Masen's on Saturday afternoon. Though my fever had broken, I could tell he was reluctant to leave me alone, primarily because I still had no voice. He had missed shifts to take care of me, though, and, while he wouldn't admit it, he needed the money. That's why I was surprised when I heard keys in the door at five-thirty, followed by Jasper's voice calling my name.

"There you are," he said when he found me camped out on the couch.

"Hey, Jas," I croaked. "What are you doing here?"

The bartender dropped a carrier bag on the coffee table and gave me a wicked smile as he pulled off his coat. "Ed told me your voice was shot. I figure this is a good a time as any to have my way with you because you can't call for help."

"Nice." I pulled my knees up when he moved to sit down.

"I come bearing food and porn." Jasper unloaded the contents of the bag onto the table, listing each item as he handled them. "Chicken salad sandwiches … two flavors of Gatorade … some ice-pops—fuck, I need to put those in the freezer—and five seasons of _Queer As Folk_ for your viewing pleasure. Okay, I lied: it's not porn, but Brian and Justin are more than watchable."

I shook my head in both wonder and amusement at the little pile of offerings, while Jasper raised an eyebrow.

"You didn't really think that Ed would work a double-shift without asking someone to pop in, did you? It was either that or he'd text you five hundred times before closing. And we all know how bitchy Ed gets when he runs out of minutes."

I managed a shaky smile that Jasper tactfully ignored before he grabbed the drink bottles and box of ice-pops and stood.

"I'm your personal butler until I go on shift in two hours. I'll put this shit in the freezer and grab some plates and glasses—which flavor Gatorade do you want, orange or … what is this, grape?"

ooOOoo

Snow was falling when I woke up on Christmas Eve morning and Edward was sleeping at my side with one warm hand splayed on my stomach. He had worked another double the night before, and was far enough under for me to ease out of the bed without waking him.

I studied my reflection in the bathroom mirror after washing up, pleased to note that, even with my disastrous bed head, I was beginning to look like myself for the first time in a week. I'd lost a few pounds, but there was color in my cheeks under my whiskers, and my eyes were bright with energy that I finally feeling again.

I was struck by a strong smell of evergreen when I slipped into the kitchen to start a pot of coffee. Puzzled, I looked over the island into the living space and froze when I spotted a small Christmas tree sitting in the corner by the window. It was a wee thing, probably four feet high, and undecorated. There were boxes of ornaments on the floor, and the tree's green branches filled the air with fragrance.

My heart was pounding almost painfully as I stared at the little tree, thinking about how it had found its way into my apartment. It hadn't been there when I'd gone to bed the night before, which meant Edward had dragged it and the ornaments to my apartment after work, probably in a cab.

"Mornin', baby." The man himself shuffled into the kitchen just then, yawning and running both hands through his crazy hair. "Oh, sweet, you made coffee—"

Whatever else he planned to say was lost when I strode across the little space and pulled him toward me, swallowing his grunt of surprise with my mouth. I kissed him hard and deep until he groaned around my tongue. Pushing him backward, I steered him across the kitchen until his lower back was pressed against the counter.

"Jesus, Garret."

He broke away, inhaling sharply when I palmed him through his scrubs, and I hummed to feel him twitch under my hand. Before he could react any further, my fingers were plucking at the drawstring on his pants, shoving the fabric down when he groaned low in his throat. His eyes were wild behind his glasses when I knelt at his feet, dragging his pants over his thighs. I kissed his skin as I moved, kneading his thighs with my hands, and smiling at the soft noises he made when my lips touched him. My open mouth at the base of his cock made him hiss, and his head fell back when I wrapped my hand around him.

"Oh, _God_ ," he said when I dragged my tongue along the length of his dick. Edward's voice was low, almost a whisper, and the quaver I heard on the second word set a fire in my belly.

His fingers wound in my hair while I moved over his flesh, teasing him with little nipping kisses. I ducked down slightly, catching his balls with my tongue and lavishing attention on each one until he was moaning steadily. The plea in his eyes was plain as we watched one another, but I couldn't resist drawing out his pleasure a little longer. Wrapping one hand around the base of his shaft, I moved the other to grab his ass and slid his cock between my lips.

Edward's hips rocked forward and his eyes grew wide. "Shit!"

I took him in slowly, swallowing around his head when he was in deep. His thighs trembled around my shoulders as he murmured breathlessly, his hips moving slowly. He used his hand to guide my head as he fucked my mouth, and his movements grew more rhythmic as he lost himself in the sensations.

Watching his pleasure made me ache with need, but I shoved it aside, keeping all of my focus on the man in front of me.

"Fuck … fuck, baby, please," he murmured.

I groaned to let him know I'd heard him before reaching to press my fingers into the soft skin just behind his balls. He grunted, his thrusts growing stronger and his fingers tightening in my hair, prompting me to suck harder as I watched him spiral down.

"Gar … gonna come." Edward's voice was rough and desperate, and he shuddered when I hummed.

His knees started to give out as he came, prompting me to press him back between the counter and my body. I held him up as I swallowed him down, and stroked his flesh with my hands, prolonging his pleasure as long as possible.

He was still panting roughly when I pulled his pants up, and I smirked as I tucked him back in. His hands shook slightly as he pulled me up, and I couldn't help chuckling when he wound his arms around me and buried his face in my neck.

"Someone's feeling better," he said, pressing lazy kisses into my skin. "What was that for?"

The sound of his voice, satisfied and slightly dazed, made me grin while I rubbed his back. "Thought I'd get started on the blow job payback," I teased, my raspy chuckle becoming a groan when he cupped my dick in return. "You don't have to—"

"Oh, but I want to, baby." He gave a low, wicked laugh. "I've been waiting all fucking week to touch you like this again."

ooOOoo

Edward made me sit while he made breakfast, insisting that I take it easy because he planned to continue to wear me out repeatedly throughout the day.

"Promises, promises," I said as we ate our omelets.

"Oh, Garrett. I plan to fuck you over every surface in this apartment before I go back to work on Wednesday. Starting with this island."

"Fucking hell." I swallowed hard, my dick stirring as I vividly pictured that very scene.

"Beyond perverting my furniture, what do you want to do?" I tried to sound unaffected while throwing my balled up napkin at him. "Does your family do anything at Christmas?"

Edward drank his coffee and shrugged. "I hang out with the Masen's staff on Christmas Eve, or with Lee and Seth and those guys. My parents host a lunch on Christmas day for family and friends. If you're not up for either one, we can just cook dinner here."

"I don't think I'm ready for a party with the Masen crew." I covered Edward's hand on the table with my own. "But your parents' lunch sounds fun."

Edward smiled. "Okay, sure. I know you want to Skype with your family, too."

"That should be easy enough, given the time difference." I sighed, imagining again my parents' reaction to Peter and Charlotte's announcement.

Edward ran a finger along my forearm. "You okay, baby?"

"Pete proposed to Charlotte last night. They're going to tell my parents and the rest of the family tomorrow at dinner."

Edward's eyes widened in time with his smile. "That's great! Shit, your mother is going to go nuts."

"She'll probably run out of the house and start yelling on the front lawn," I said, smiling when Edward burst out laughing.

We talked as we cleaned up the breakfast dishes, forecasting dates for the wedding and joking about the lengths my mother would go when the planning began.

"Are you upset about missing Peter's announcement, Gar?"

Edward was frowning slightly when I met his eyes. He put the pan and dishcloth he was holding down and drew me to stand between his legs as he leaned against the sink, linking his arms around my waist.

"Yes and no," I admitted. "He told me about his plans before he left. So it's not as if I was completely out of the loop."

"Did something ... I don't know, _happen_ before your brother went home? Between the two of you, I mean?"

I was intrigued to see Edward's ears turn pink as I looked at him. "Why do you ask?"

"Peter called me yesterday."

I raised an eyebrow in surprise. "He did? Why? I mean, that's great that he called but … what is it with my family calling my boyfriend, anyway?"

"I asked the same thing, actually." Edward chuckled, but I saw a hint of discomfort in his expression. "He seemed concerned that we had canceled the trip, but when I was telling how sick you've been, I got the feeling he didn't really believe me."

"He said that?"

"Not explicitly, no. It was more the things he was saying and then _not_ saying." Edward dropped a kiss on the apple of my cheek. "He asked me if everything was okay, and how you were doing. Then he went out of his way to make sure that I knew how much he'd enjoyed meeting me and that he was looking forward to seeing me again.

"It was all very sweet, don't misunderstand me; I didn't know what to make of it. I knew there was some reason he was calling me—he could have called your parents, or waited to call you himself. I just wasn't sure how to get the reason out of him."

I rested my forehead against his with a groan. "Sorry, sweetheart."

"Don't be. He really was concerned about you." Edward chewed his lip for a moment before continuing. " _Did_ something happen between you?"

"You could say that," I muttered. "Not an argument so much as a misunderstanding."

Edward listened quietly as I told him about my conversation with Peter at the airport on the night he flew back to Oregon. The only sign he gave that my brother's words bothered him was a slight tightening of his eyes.

"Is there any reason you didn't tell me about what happened, Gar?" he asked when I had finished, sounding both curious and cautious. "We've talked a lot about being honest with each other … were you ever going to tell me?"

"Yes. I was going to tell you after we got home from the trip," I said honestly. "Now, I know how ass backwards this sounds, but I didn't want you to know until after you met my parents."

"Why not?"

"I knew you would be hurt by what Peter had said. That he was wrong about the whole thing and that he would _know_ it by the time he and Char told the family." I shrugged. "In the end, it didn't make any difference to me what he thought, Ed. I wanted to take you home to meet my family."

A smile crept onto Edward's face, slowly becoming brilliant as we watched each other.

"Thank you," he said simply, his eyes shining as he leaned in to kiss me.

"Of course you didn't actually get to meet them," I added, "but my mom's hoping we can fly out in February for my birthday."

Edward's brow puckered in thought. "I think that will work. I should be able to get the time off."

"Don't worry about your ticket," I said, shaking my head when he opened his mouth to argue. "No, really, Edward; it's covered by my frequent flier points and won't cost me a dime."

"You know I appreciate it, Gar, but I don't want to put you out."

I watched him try to smile and leaned forward to run my lips against his jaw.

"You won't put me out. I racked up a lot of points flying back and forth to Chicago this fall; we may as well get some good use out of them. Unless … you want to use them to fly to Hawaii."

"Jeeze, let's see," he teased. "Oregon to see your parents or Hawaii and naked in a bungalow all day... tough decision, Garrett."

He grunted when I poked him in the ribs, and then turned on me, his long fingers tickling and making me twist away with a hoarse squeak. Our roughhousing shifted when he kissed me roughly, nearly lifting me off the floor in his eagerness. In a flash, we were pulling at each other's pants and scrambling for the lube and condoms I kept in at the back of one of the kitchen drawers. As he'd promised, Edward pushed me over the counter, burying himself deep inside me as we groaned and swore and came.

ooOOoo

"Were you really working a double yesterday? Or were you out tree shopping?" I asked, winding a string of lights around the branches while Edward unwrapped the ornaments.

We'd tried to decorate the tree after tidying the kitchen again, but the vestiges of my flu had reared up almost as soon as I had sat down on the couch. I'd woken up three hours later, covered with the comforter from my bed, to find Edward putting away a load of groceries he'd dashed out to get from the market down the street.

He flicked a wad of tissue paper at me now, and chuckled when it landed on the plate of half-eaten quesadillas beside me.

"Of course I was working," he said. "I _might_ have picked up the tree and ornaments on my way in and stowed them in Jasper's car, though."

"And you got them home how …?"

"Jas dropped me off. He said it was his Christmas gift to me rather than making me flag down a cab with a tree under my arm."

We laughed together, working on the little tree and eating our food as we talked.

"How the hell did you find a tree so late, anyway?"

"Malice picked it up a couple of days ago after I told her we canceled our trip." Edward cocked his head as he held up a _Hello Kitty_ ornament. "I have a feeling these might be her own ornaments, though, so let's be sure to get them all back in once piece."

"Well, thank Malice. And you," I said, smiling gently at him when he snorted. "No, really, thank you. It's a really fucking cute tree."

"It's a really fucking tiny tree. Best she could do on such short notice. I'm glad you like it, though. I can take it out of here on my way to work Wednesday, if you want."

"Oh, no, let's hang on to it until New Year's Day. That's what my family does."

Edward smiled indulgently. "Whatever you want, baby. Just promise me you'll water it when I'm not here, okay? You'll be pissed at me if it dries out and there are a million dried needles all over the floor."

I swallowed as the implication of his words sank in. Of course, Edward would be gone some nights; he had his own apartment across town. As much time as we spent with each other, there were still at least one or two nights a week that I spent alone in my own bed.

ooOOoo

Esme's smile was impossibly bright when she met us at the door of the Cullen house.

"I'm so happy to see you!" She gave Edward a quick hug before wrapping her arms around me tightly. "And so glad you're feeling better, Garrett. You are feeling better aren't you?"

"Yes, thanks, Esme," I managed to get out before she jerked back, her dark eyes sharp as they moved over my face.

"Oh, gosh, your voice is still all fucked up,"

"Mama, what the hell?" Edward exclaimed while I choked on a laugh.

Esme's eyes glinted playfully. "Well, that's what you've been saying every time I've spoken to you, honey. 'Gar's getting better, but his voice is all fucked up'," she said, imitating Edward's voice perfectly and grinning when we laughed.

She led us into the house, encouraging us to help ourselves from the buffet before shooting off to the kitchen—over my protests—to brew a pot of tea to soothe my throat.

"She doesn't have to do that," I muttered, handing Edward the bag of presents as he knelt to place them under the tree in the sitting room.

"She wants to. My mother likes taking care of us." His voice and expression were fond when he stood. "She forgets that we are grown men."

"Grown men who wear _Avengers_ t-shirts under their sweaters," I said dryly, running my hand over Edward's charcoal crewneck sweater.

"Something she doesn't need to know." His eyes narrowed mischievously. "Just like she doesn't need to know that we're a little late because you couldn't get enough this morning." He leaned in to me and brushed the back of his hand against my cock.

I felt my face flush and opened my mouth to respond when steps sounded behind us.

"Hello, son." Carlisle's smile was wide as he and Edward embraced. "I'm sorry your trip was canceled, but I can't pretend I'm not happy to see you here after all."

Carlisle turned to me as soon as Edward let him go, but his happy expression faltered, becoming concerned. "Garrett, your face is very flushed—are you all right? You're not feeling ill again, are you?"

ooOOoo

We spent a mellow afternoon eating and catching up with the Cullens's family and close friends. When the party retired to the living room for coffee and dessert, Edward's dowager aunts seized the opportunity to fill my ears with stories from his childhood; I honestly thought he would die of embarrassment when a box of old photos was brought out. I stopped him from slinking out of the room, and held his hand to soothe his ruffled ego as the stories unfolded and photos made the rounds.

ooOOoo

"I had no idea your hair was so _red_ when you were a kid," I teased, holding up one of Edward's school photos. His little boy's face smiled crookedly at us from the snapshot, all bright green eyes and ginger hair.

We were in my apartment again, watching Jasper's _Queer As Folk_ DVDs as the light in the room slowly dimmed. The Cullens sent us off with a pile of gifts and enough food for two days, as well as a few of the photos from the box. Edward took the snapshot from my hand with a grimace that made me laugh softly.

"My hair got darker when I was in high school. Up until that happened I was considering coloring it, even though my dad swore he'd take my learner's permit away if I did." He smiled and raised a hand to the side of my neck. "You look tired, Gar."

"I'm okay," I told him. "I may, however, pass out for a couple of hours after we eat that turkey tetrazzini your mother gave us; the power of tryptophan compels me."

Edward nodded knowingly and tossed the snapshot on to the coffee table. "Let's do Christmas presents now, then, while you're still alert and capable of speech."

He dug under the little tree and extracted two square packages of similar dimensions, though one was thicker than the other was. He handed me the thicker of the two and sat beside me again, his cheeks turning pink and his smile shy.

"Merry Christmas, Garrett." His eyes shone as he moved to kiss me, his lips moving slowly and sweetly while his fingers ghosted over my jaw.

"Merry Christmas," I replied when he sat back, pausing for a moment to just look at the beautiful man at my side before nodding at the gift in his hand. "You go first, sweetheart, I've been dying to give that to you."

He tried but failed to play it cool as he tore through the paper, though his eager smile faded when he saw the new tablet under the wrapper.

"Oh, shit." His voice was hushed as he turned it over in his hands, and I saw his throat work when he swallowed. "Garret ... this is—"

"From your parents and me," I finished for him, nodding when his eyes snapped back to mine in question. "We both know your netbook is dying and you need something new to write with. I knew you'd give me a hard time for spending too much money, especially when we promised we wouldn't go overboard, so I asked and your parents agreed to split the cost of the tablet and a new data plan with me."

Edward said nothing, his eyes searching my face before he looked down again at the sleek machine in his hands.

My stomach fell as I watched him, unable to decipher his blank expression. "There's a dock under the tree, and a wireless keyboard; I figured you wouldn't want to be writing on a touch screen."

"It's ... I don't know what to say," he finally said after a long silence, his fingers moving carefully over the tablet's surface. "Thank you."

"Edward." I waited until he looked at me before speaking again. "Are you upset?"

He shook his head, his lips moving uncertainly in a smile. "No, I'm not. I'm, um ... overwhelmed, I think. It's wonderful. Thank you, Gar, really." He raised my hand to his lips and kissed it fervently, his eyes burning with a mixture of emotions.

"I'm glad you like it. Your parents will be glad to hear it, too," I said, grinning when he raised an eyebrow. "Esme and I spent a long time trying to decide which one you'd like best. Your mom ... she really enjoys shopping."

Edward laughed then, lightening the mood instantly, and I was finally able to relax and turn my attention to the package in my lap.

"My turn, right?"

"Oh, yeah," he said, his face falling as he watched me. "I don't know if—fuck. I ... stuck with the 'let's not go overboard' rule, so it's not very extravagant."

I frowned at him, concerned with the turn the conversation was taking. "I don't want extravagant, Ed. I don't care about the presents or how much you spend; I'm happy enough just being here with you."

Edward blew out a long breath and put his own present on the table. I could see the insecurity warring in his eyes even as he smiled and encouraged me to open my package.

"There's two things, actually," he said as I got the paper off, but his voice faded when I saw a framed photo of the two of us.

It had been taken during a Sunday brunch we'd hosted earlier in the month, after I'd gotten home from Thanksgiving in Oregon. In the photo, we were seated together on the sofa in Edward's apartment and I knew from memory that our friends were all around us. Edward held me close in his arms, while I grasped his forearm with both hands. We were smiling, our gazes locked together as if no one were present, and the expressions of happiness and love on our faces made me breathless.

I had been aware that Edward's mother was taking photos that day, though I hadn't paid her much mind. Like any photographer, she seized any opportunity to capture images, and her Nikon was frequently in her hands.

"Esme?" I murmured.

Edward's voice was low and warm. "You know we don't have any photos of the two of us together? Well, other than crazy Instagram shots," he chuckled.

"I asked my mother to take some of us that day, thinking it would just be nice to have a couple of candids." He reached to run his finger over the image of my smiling face. "When I saw them ... well, I knew I wanted to do something more than just stick them on the fridge."

"There are more of these?"

"Yeah. Mama's putting them in an album for us. That one is my favorite, though."

"It's beautiful," I said, my vision blurring as I looked from the photo in my hands back to Edward's face. "You're beautiful. Thank you, sweetheart."

"You're welcome." He smiled and pushed the hair back from my forehead. "I'm glad you like it."

His words made me remember that he had mentioned a second part to the gift, and my brow furrowed in confusion. "Is the album the second part of the gift?"

"Oh!" he exclaimed excitedly. "No, that's not it. Jas and Alec are renting a house in Vermont this summer for a couple of weeks at the end of July. They asked if we, and Bella and Mal wanted in. I thought that would be a nice change of pace from the city this summer and it won't cost us an arm and a leg like a place on the Cape will."

I blinked a few times in surprise. "Vermont?"

Edward licked his lips, looking nervous. "I know it's a little weird that I didn't say anything beforehand, but I wanted it to be a surprise and you're not the easiest person to spring something on, Gar—"

"Will you please shut up, you sweet, sweet man?" I asked before pulling him toward me.

The rest of his words were muffled as I kissed him. His hands came up to frame my face and I felt my cock twitch when he caught my lower lip between his teeth with a groan. His tongue slid between my lips, my fingers worked their way into his hair, and then I was laughing against his lips as he shifted and hauled me onto his lap.

"Mmm. I love you," he said, nibbling at my chin.

"I love you back, Ed."

"You like it?"

"The trip? Let's see ... a couple of weeks away in the mountains with you. What the fuck's not to like? You have to let me chip in, though—"

"Nope," he cut in at once, his expression growing serious. "This is a Christmas present, Garrett; I'm not letting you pay for your own gift."

"But—"

"Uh-uh." He kissed me again before resting his forehead against mine. "No arguing. Bella and Jas and I are working it out so the whole thing is affordable for everyone."

His swallowed as he watched me and his voice was quieter when he spoke again. "Let me do this for you, okay? For us."

I looked at him for a long moment, troubled by his seeming need to prove something to me or to himself, and wondering what was behind his behavior. It was his hopeful smile that finally made me nod, and I squeezed his fingers in mine.

"Whatever you want, sweetheart."

ooOOoo

In the end, we ate Esme's casserole right out of the baking dish, pairing it with a bottle of Viognier and a green salad while we talked about our schedules for the rest of the week.

"Are you sure you want to go in tomorrow?" Edward asked as he spooned more pasta from the serving dish. "Technically you're off until Thursday, Garrett."

I shrugged. "True, but I missed almost four days last week when I had the plague; I need to go in. I'm sure Emily got my work onto someone else's radar, but I need to get back in there and figure out where everything stands."

"Just don't kill yourself on your first day back, all right?" He raised an eyebrow at me.

"Yes, Dr. Cullen."

"I mean, it Gar. I know how you are when you get really into your work. You need to take it easy for a while."

I rolled my eyes but couldn't stop myself from smiling at his bossy tone. "Okay, Edward; I promise to take it easy ... at least for tomorrow."

He glared at me before turning his attention back to the food. "Hey, I need to do a load of laundry tonight—I'm totally out of clothes at this point."

"Why don't you just borrow something of mine? There's plenty of stuff here for you to wear."

"Well, either I carry a bag of clean laundry back home with me tomorrow, or a bag of dirty laundry _plus_ the clothes you loan me." He sipped his wine thoughtfully. "Then again, if I put off doing laundry again, I can spend that time being naked with you. Score."

I felt my face draw down in a frown when I thought about sleeping alone in my bed and waking up to a quiet apartment. The thought of Edward, across town, living and sleeping in his own space bothered me even more.

Keeping a small part of my life separate from Edward's had made sense to me until that point; in some ways, it had felt natural. While Edward and I were in love and in deep with one another, our relationship wasn't even six months old. I had thought casually about what it would be like to live with him and, in many ways, it felt as though we already did. I knew too, however, that we had a lot to learn not only about each other, but also about ourselves. The life altering changes I had experienced in the last year and half made me leery of rushing into anything, but particularly with regard to my relationship with Edward. He had become far too important to me to risk doing anything rash.

Having him in my apartment for a week straight, however, watching him care for me so well and thoroughly had changed me. I found that I didn't want to wake up next to a cool space in the bed, or miss tripping over pairs of battered sneakers when I walked in the door after work. I wanted to hear fingers clicking over a keyboard, spinning stories, and to catch the sound of the Foo Fighters playing while breakfast was cooking. I wanted to see a toothbrush next to mine and saucy message t-shirts mixing with my conservative ones, and hear a low murmur behind me when I shifted in my sleep.

I breathed deeply, my chest swelling as I realized that I was ready to have Edward in my life, every day and night, and I wanted to truly share my life with this man that I loved.

"Gar?"

My eyes snapped up to meet Edward's and I blinked when I saw the look of concern on his face.

"Where did you go just now? Are you okay?"

"Sorry. Yeah, I'm good," I replied, managing a grin. "Just spaced out there for a second, thinking."

He nodded slowly, though I could tell from his expression that he didn't quite buy my excuse. "Okay. I was just asking if you wanted some of that herbal tea my mom gave you."

"Edward, can I ask you something?" I blurted without thinking and felt my face flush when his brows rose in surprise.

"Of course you can, baby."

"Do you ever think about moving in together?"

Edward's brows rose even further on his forehead. He blinked then, and laid his fork down, obviously thinking carefully about my question he spoke. "Well, sure, sometimes. Do you?"

"Yeah, I do. I think …" I trailed off, afraid of making an even bigger fool of myself but unable to shake the thoughts now that they were in my head. "I think I'd like that to happen soon. If you agree. And I hope you do. Agree, I mean," I winced and held my breath as he processed my babbling thoughts.

"I think it would be great to talk about moving in," he said with a slow smile. "But what brought this on?"

I shook my head. "Nothing. Lots of things. Spending this week with you, and the holiday. Knowing that you give a shit about me, even when I'm being an idiot. Fuck, the tree you dragged home at three in the morning." I held out my hand when he laughed, and grinned when his fingers slipped between mine. "You, and the way you're what I need and want. The person I love."

"You're beautiful," he said gently. "Do you know that? A little crazy, but I like it. That said … you don't think it's too soon to share a place?"

"Well, it _is_ soon. But it's also not. How long am I supposed to wait to share my life with the person I love? I don't want to wait any more, and why should I? Why should you?"

Edward's smile grew and he rubbed his free hand over his head. "I suppose you're right."

His happy expression sparked my excitement and I rushed on heedlessly. "So, is that a yes? We're already trucking across town every couple of nights, and it seems stupid to keep paying rent for places we don't use. It'll make things easier, when we combine our finances, too. One set of bills and expenses, and you won't need to worry so much about finding shifts at the bar."

Edward's smile faltered. "What do you mean I won't have to worry? I'll still want to contribute an equal share, Gar." His eyes darkened as he frowned. "I wouldn't expect you to pay for everything, even if we lived here in your apartment. That wouldn't be right."

"I know that, sweetheart," I said hastily, my excitement draining away as we looked at each other. "I'm sorry. Shit. That didn't come across the way I meant it at all."

"How did you mean it?"

"That things would be easier if we pooled everything together, truly. I didn't mean to imply that—"

"That I'd be sponging off you because you make more money?" Edward cut in quietly, his eyes downcast.

"No, of course not." I waited for him to meet my gaze again, and felt my stomach churn when he didn't. "Sweetheart. _Edward_ , look at me, please."

His expression was carefully controlled when he raised his head, but his eyes were stormy with hurt and insecurity. I sighed, cursing my stupid, impulsive mouth and myself. Of all the things to say, I had chosen to remind him of his perceived uneven footing in our relationship.

"Ed, I don't think you're sponging off me," I told him, speaking slowly to emphasize each word. "I never have and never will. I don't care how much money you make; it doesn't matter to me at all. You know that."

He nodded and looked down again with a sigh. ""I know you don't. It's never mattered to me either. Maybe I _should_ care. Sure, it would be nice to not have to worry about money, but I'm not unhappy with the way I live."

Edward's eyes were calmer when he met my gaze. "That doesn't mean I would expect anything from you, either. I wouldn't want anything to change if we lived together. I don't make a ton of money, and you do. Between the bar and my writing, though, I do okay."

"I know you do, sweetheart. I wish you wouldn't think so much about those differences."

"How can I not think about them when they're always staring me in the face?" he asked with a sad smile.

"That shouldn't be a reason to hold back, though," I protested, my heart pounding with uncertainty.

"I'm not, Gar, I promise," he soothed. "I do need some more time, though. I'm just ... I'm not ready to change anything right now. Or not anything that huge."

Edward dropped his free hand to wrap both hands around mine as he worriedly scrutinized my face. "Don't look so upset, baby."

"I'm not."

"I'm not saying no. Believe me, I want to."

"Then why ...?"

"I guess I'm afraid to rush into anything," he said, rubbing slow circles into the backs of my hands with his thumbs. "I don't want to go into this half-assed. You mean a lot to me. More than anyone I've been with. I don't want to be anywhere else or with anyone else for as long as you'll have me."

My heart thundered at the gravity of his words and his expression. I heard more than love and tenderness in them; I heard forever. That idea, knowing that I could have forever with Edward and he wanted it too, made me soar. He just needed to be ready. We needed to get there, together.

I breathed deeply to steady my voice. "I feel the same way about you, Edward. I really do. You don't have to decide today."

"You're not upset?"

I shook my head, a smile spreading over my face that seemed to soothe his concern. "No, I'm not. I know you're nervous to take that next step, and I understand why. Hell, with my track record, I should be fucking terrified.

"But for some reason, I'm not nervous. Not when it comes to you." I leaned in to kiss his cheek, then the other, and then his slowly smiling mouth. "I'm also not ready to give up asking just yet."

"What do you mean?" he asked, his eyes shining with amusement and affection.

"Well, I'm just going to ask you until you're ready."

"What, if I want to move in with you? Like you'll ask me once a week?"

"Oh, I don't know," I teased. "Maybe I'll just spring it on you when you're least expecting it. At some point, I'll wear you down."

Edward's laughter rumbled through his chest as he laid his head against my shoulder. "Challenge accepted, baby."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love these guys. Gawd. I also love turkey tetrazzini. I don't know what's going on with Edward and the not ready to move in yet, by the way, but I'm sure he'll tell us when he's ready.  
> Thank you so much for reading.
> 
> It's unlikely I'll be able to visit with these boys again until after the New Year, so please accept my good wishes for peace, joy, and much love.
> 
> Notes:
> 
> Instagram is a photo-sharing app and social network.
> 
> The Monkees are an American pop band that released music under their original incarnation between 1966 and 1970.
> 
> I don't have to explain the Foo Fighters or Hello Kitty, right?


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, friends, and happy New Year. As I was writing, I took to calling this the ex-boyfriends chapter. Lol ;)
> 
> Thank you to my fabulous beta, Discordia81, who makes my docs better. I tinkered after she sent this chapter back; all mistakes are even more mine than usual.
> 
> Note: This is a slash story.

A wall of music met me when I walked into my apartment on Tuesday night. Leaving my coat and satchel by the door, I followed the sound of Willy Moon's _Yeah Yeah_ to the kitchen, where I found Edward cooking and shaking his ass along to the beats. There was a steaming pot on the stove, ingredients spread over the counter, and the warm air was fragrant with the smell of roasting meat.

I leaned against the wall, letting my eyes move over my boyfriend as he worked, and bit my lip at the way his jeans and _Nirvana_ t-shirt hugged his lean body. He turned toward the counter for a pair of oven mitts, and his smile lit his face when he spotted me. He raised his hands, beckoning me closer with his fingers, and danced a little dirtier as I crossed the kitchen.

He wound my tie around one hand, pulling me toward him to lay his other hand on the small of my back. With a grin, I linked my arms around his waist, moving with him as he danced and sang along to the lyrics. Edward's eyes were shining, his cheeks were pink, and he looked so happy my heart seemed to swell.

"How long were you spying on me, you creeper?" he asked when the song had ended, kissing me before he turned away to lower the volume on the iPod dock.

I chuckled, loosening my tie and shrugging out of my suit jacket. "Long enough to get a good look at your ass, Cullen."

"You mean a good look at my moves," he retorted, picking up the oven mitts.

"Same thing."

"Says the man who won't dance in public without the aid of alcohol."

"Hey, not everyone is in touch with their inner Freddie Mercury the way you are, sweetheart."

Edward laughed loudly while bending to open the oven. With quick movements, he transferred a baking dish to a trivet on the counter and let out a hiss. "Hot, hot, fuck!"

"Are you okay?" Frowning, I went to his side as he pulled the mitts off. "Did you burn yourself?"

"Nah; I'm okay, but I think these mitts are officially dead." He turned his right hand over to show me a pink patch on the skin of his index finger before he gave me a smile. "Nothing a glass of wine won't help me get over. Why don't you make yourself useful, handsome, and open a bottle?"

ooOOoo

"Jesus Christ, Edward."

The weather in Boston had been bitterly cold since New Year's, driving the residents indoors to the warmth and light. Edward's response was to make comfort foods, baking pastas and brewing chowders that helped me gain back the weight I had lost before Christmas when I had been sick. That night, we sat at the island in my kitchen, eating beef and carrots braised in honey and Guinness ale with mashed potatoes while I groaned without shame.

"You like it?" Edward smiled smugly as he sipped his wine and watched me.

"This is honestly one of the best things I've ever eaten. In my entire life. But if you ever tell my mother I said that, I will deny it to my last breath."

He laughed then, his cheeks flushing with pleasure. "My mom used to make something like this once in a while when I was kid. I tweaked her recipe a little."

"She doesn't make it anymore?"

"My dad's cholesterol needs managing, so they changed their diets," he explained. "I still make it for him once a year or so, as a treat."

"You need to make this for _my_ parents when we go to Portland," I mumbled around a mouthful.

He winced and nibbled his lip. "Make dinner for your family? I don't know about that, Gar."

He snorted when I gave him the Bambi eyes.

"Don't look at me like that."

"Oh, c'mon, sweetheart. You can't be in my hometown, in my parents' house, and not cook this for them. They _need_ to experience this fucking deliciousness—"

"Okay, okay," he grumbled.

I cocked my head and looked at him closely. "You're not nervous about the trip, are you?"

"No, I'm not." Edward licked his lips and blew out a breath. "Okay, I lied; yes, I am."

"But why? My parents adore you."

"Your parents haven't _met_ me, Garrett."

I pulled him close, pressing kisses against his neck until I felt him relax. "True, but they talk to you all the time. They know you, Edward, and they're going to love you even more after they meet you."

We were loading the dishwasher after dinner when I decided to broach another, slightly more awkward topic. I refilled our glasses while Edward started the cycle, and then stood behind him, slipping my arms around his waist. He crossed his arms over mine, and hummed when I rested my chin against his shoulder.

"Do you remember me telling you that my friend Eli would be coming to town this month?"

Edward was quiet for a beat before answering. "Of course I do. Did he get back to you with days?"

"Mm-hm. He and a coworker are teaching a seminar at Suffolk Law School and they'll be here Thursday and Friday. I got some Bruins tickets through the office and thought we could all go out for dinner on Thursday night and then watch the game. Will you come?"

I felt a pang of disappointment when Edward let out a groan. He turned in my arms, his handsome face pulled down in a frown.

"Fuck. Matheus is in New York on Thursday and Friday, and Bella's covering shifts at Joe's this week as a favor to Emmett; I can't take the night off, Gar. I'm really sorry."

"It's okay."

"No, it's not," he fretted. "I feel like shit."

"Sweetheart, relax." I rubbed circles into his lower back. "I know it's really short notice and you're working—"

"What about getting together earlier?" Edward interrupted, his face brightening. "The night games are usually at seven, right? We could meet up and grab a burger and some drinks before faceoff."

"Hmmm. I like it. Clever man is clever," I said with a slow smile.

His hands rose to cup my jaw as he leaned in to kiss me, and heat spread through my belly as his mouth moved over mine. When he pulled back, we were both breathless.

"I have my moments," he murmured.

ooOOoo

"Who the hell is that sexy beast talking to Edward and Seth?" Bella asked.

I followed her gaze across the room to where Edward, Seth, and Eli were chatting at a table by the window. We had decided to meet at Joe's because it was close to both Eli's hotel and my apartment, and only a short distance from the sports arena. I suspected that Edward took some comfort in knowing that Bella was working that night, too.

"That's, Eli, my ex. We were in law school together."

Bella's dark eyes widened. "Ohhhh. You told me about him. He's married with kids now, right?"

"Yeah," I nodded. "We keep in touch, but it's not like we spend any time together. The last time I saw him, Kate and I were still married."

"Eep," Bella said before giving me a cheeky wink. "I'll make sure to keep the drinks coming."

"Please and thank you. I need three beers, your choice, and a Coke for Ed."

"It'll be Smuttynose Winter Ale for you then, my pretty." She picked up two glasses and then grinned. "I'll say this, Garrett; you've got good taste in men."

I looked across the room to watch the two men with whom I had shared so much at very different times of my life. The physical differences between them were striking. Eli's rich brown skin and eyes made Edward appear even more fair and pink cheeked, and his hair seemed suddenly very ginger. Where Eli was brawny, Edward was rangy; where my ex was vigorous, my boyfriend was insouciant.

Bringing the two men together was like weaving my past together with my present, and my feelings as I watched them interact were not entirely comfortable. They seemed to get on well enough, though it was plain to me that they were not entirely compatible; at best, they would be acquaintances. They were clearly making an effort, though, particularly Edward. I felt a rush of affection when he caught my eye and smiled warmly.

"So Garrett tells me you're a writer," Eli was saying when I returned with the drinks. His expression was curious as he watched Edward, and assessing. "Or a bartender … wait, do I have that wrong?"

"You're not wrong; I'm both, actually. Bartending pays the bills, but writing is what I do." Edward smiled at me when I took his hand under the table.

"Have I read anything you've published?"

"Not unless you've suddenly developed an interest in anything other than law books," I cut in gently.

Eli grimaced. "Good point. The last thing I read that wasn't work-related was an instruction manual for my daughter's new tablet."

"That's what I figured," I teased over Seth and Edward's chuckles. "Once a lawyer, always a lawyer."

Eli cocked an eyebrow at me in challenge. "Wait, did I wake up in an alternate universe or are you also not up to your ass in law briefs, Garrett?"

"Oh, I am, believe me," I replied. "But I make time to read Ed's stuff, too."

"You mean you make time when Edward reminds you to read his stuff," Seth supplied.

Everyone laughed when I gave him the finger. "Fuck you very much, Seth. Y _es_ , I sometimes need to be reminded, but I do read and enjoy his pieces."

"What about you, Edward?" Eli piped up with a grin. "Has Garrett got you poring over corporate law practices and amendments?"

Edward shook his head. "Yeah, no. I've tried to read briefs but I can't get through them"

Eli snorted. "Can't blame you; the crap Garrett works on is boring as hell. Does he still talk about litigation in his sleep?"

"Not that I've noticed, no," Edward said after the briefest of pauses.

I raised an eyebrow at my ex. "I don't talk in my sleep—"

"Yes, you do," he and Edward answered together before they broke up laughing.

"I do?"

"Oh, yeah." Edward gave my hand a squeeze. "Especially when you're stressed out about work. You don't usually make much sense, but you're pretty persistent when you get going. Last Saturday, you woke me up talking about Daniel Craig."

"What?"

"We saw _Skyfall_ earlier in the day, remember?" he asked with a smirk. "I guess Mr. Craig made an impression because you had a lot to say about his … gun."

"Nice," Seth said, while I cringed in embarrassment.

"You didn't know?" Eli asked, his eyes wide with surprise. "How is that possible?"

"No one's mentioned it 'til now. I-I used to have insomnia," I stammered, shaking my head slightly when I felt my face grow hot. "It started after graduation and it got bad enough that I had a prescription for Sonata. When I moved to Boston, it got better so I stopped taking the pills."

Edward rubbed his thumb over my knuckles, and I saw understanding in his eyes when I met his gaze. I knew he had guessed at what I wasn't saying; that my insomnia had become a problem during the years I was married to Kate.

"Maybe the drugs made you sleep too deeply for talking, baby," he said lightly. "It doesn't happen every night. Most of the time it's about something you've seen on TV or just nonsense, like random words or names."

"Does he still say my name in his sleep?" There was something off in Eli's voice, but his gaze was locked on the man at my side when I turned to look at him.

My stomach sank when Edward stiffened, but he was smiling when he replied. "Nope. Sorry."

"Just as well, I suppose," Eli said before movement by the exit caught his eye. Looking past us, he straightened in his seat and waved at his coworker, who had been held up by a conference call with the office in Connecticut. "Here's Marcus, finally."

"I'll grab another round," Seth said, tousling Edward's hair before he got to his feet. "You want, Ed?"

"No, thanks, babe; I'm good. I need to go anyway."

"We were going to order some food first," I said, reaching for the menu and frowning when Edward shook his head.

"You guys go ahead." He kissed me quickly before he let go of my hand and reached for his coat.

"But you haven't had any dinner."

"I can grab a sandwich at the bar, Gar. No worries."

Eli's coworker arrived at the table then, forcing me to hold my tongue through Marcus's introductions and Edward's goodbyes. We walked to the door, chatting while Edward pulled a black watch cap over his hair.

"You should come back here after the game," he said, smiling when I reached to straighten his coat collar. "Bella will hook you up with some crazy drinks and pour you into a cab after last call."

"My place is a five-minute walk from here," I reminded him. "Eli and Marcus were talking about one of the bars on Portland Street, I think … or maybe it was Friend Street. I'd take them across town to Masen's but I'm not so sure Marcus would be down with going to a gay bar."

Edward nodded, his eyes tightening slightly when they flicked from the table and back to me. He seemed about to speak before he shook his head slightly and took my hand in his. "See you tomorrow?"

"I hope so; I'm in Springfield tomorrow, remember? I'm hoping to make it back to Boston if we let out early enough. I'll let you know either way, okay?" I squeezed his fingers, looking into his green eyes for a moment before brushing my lips against his. "Thanks for doing this, Edward."

His smile was soft. "You're welcome, baby. Have fun tonight."

ooOOoo

I had a good evening with my ex and our friends. The four of us ate dinner, talking easily about everything and nothing before we left for the game. Once inside the Garden, Marcus revealed himself as a rabid sports fan. He insisted on buying several rounds of beer and spent time educating an amused Seth on the game of ice hockey. I sent Edward snapshots of the crowd and laughed when he replied with photos of Masen's customers, many of them involving lewd gestures.

I caught Eli watching me throughout the evening. His expression was thoughtful and serious, as though he were trying to puzzle out a problem. I thought of asking what he was thinking, but told myself that the noise of the crowd around us was too distracting. As the game progressed, however, I realized that I wasn't just hesitating; I was avoiding. I suspected that whatever he was thinking would make me unhappy.

We decided to play pool after the game, and walked two blocks to the Beer Works on Canal Street to find a table. Eli waited until Seth and Marcus were racking the balls before he nudged my arm. Nodding to a quieter section of the bar, he walked away without waiting to see if I would follow.

Once we were alone, however, he began to stall. He rested his forearms on the bar top, focusing his attention on the pint glass in his hands. What I could see of his face was drawn down in a frown, and his fidgeting movements told me he was nervous. I ordered another pitcher of beer and watched him uneasily, acutely aware of the five years that had passed since we'd been close. Since I had loved him.

"Eli … what's up?" I finally asked after refilling our glasses. My stomach fluttered uncomfortably when he shook his head.

"I feel like I don't even know how to talk to you anymore, Garrett."

"Just say whatever's on your mind. You've never had a problem doing that in the past."

"Fine." He took a long sip of beer and raised his eyes to mine. "What's going on with you and that guy?"

I frowned. "That guy's name is Edward, and he's my boyfriend."

"Yeah, I gathered that. But … how the hell did that happen? I mean, you told me that you and Kate were having problems, but when you told me you were dating guys again, I thought you were experimenting again or something."

My eyebrows rose in surprise. "You thought my telling you that I was gay and coming out wasn't real?"

Eli ploughed on as if I hadn't spoken. "I was watching the two of you tonight, Garrett, you and that guy. He's really into you."

"I'm really into him."

My ex stared at me for a long moment and I saw the penny drop. "You … you _love_ him, don't you? Things are really that serious?"

"Yeah, they're serious."

"I don't understand."

"What don't you understand, for Christ's sake?"

"I don't even fucking know," he said defensively. "How can you be like, officially gay now and out of the closet after all this time? How is that possible?"

I blinked in surprise. "Are you really asking me this right now, Eli?"

His face darkened. "Yes, I'm asking. Fuck, man, don't mock me."

"I'm _not_ mocking you, but I do not understand why _you_ of all people would ask me that. You are the very last person who should be questioning my sexuality. Or have you forgotten that you and I used to—"

"Of course I haven't forgotten," he snapped. "But that was just sex. Something we enjoyed … it didn't mean anything."

"It did mean something." I bristled slightly at his dismissive tone.

"No, man," he said, shaking his head in exasperation. "We fooled around, it felt good, and it was fun, that's it—"

"And I'm trying to tell you that it was more than just fun for me," I said in a low voice. "There was always more."

"It was never supposed to be _serious_ , Garrett. It was never supposed to be forever—"

"It could have been serious," I pressed. "It could have been everything if we'd wanted the same thing. I had feelings for you, Eli."

Eli gaped at me. His agitation seemed to leave him in one great whoosh and I instantly felt sorry for having spoken so plainly.

"I'm sorry," I murmured. "I shouldn't have said that."

We sipped from our glasses for a few moments before Eli spoke again, his eyes fixed on the bar top again.

"Did you mean it?"

"Yes, of course I did. What we had together was more than fooling around for me. You meant a lot to me."

His head snapped up and he looked almost pleading. "But you knew it wasn't going to go anywhere, Garrett. I still dated girls, for fuck's sake, and so did you."

"I know, and being bi worked for me. Until you. I … fell for you." Eli flinched at my choice of words and I continued hastily. "Believe me; I was surprised when I realized what was happening. Then you broke up with me and everything felt different. I changed, in more ways than one."

"The girls you dated afterward? And Kate?" He rubbed his hand over his close-cropped hair. "The marriage? Was that all for show?"

"No. I wanted love in my life. To have what I thought I felt with you. I was scared, though, to try to have that with another man." I sighed and scrubbed my face with my hands. "So there were girls, and then there was Kate. I thought we could be happy together. Turns out I was wrong."

"So what now?" Eli persisted. "Are you gonna marry that guy and try to settle down again?"

"His name is _Edward_."

"He's a guy, Garrett. Last year, you had a wife!"

"I fucking know that," I said slowly. "I don't expect you to understand. Hell, I don't even expect you to accept my choice if you can't deal with it. But I've made it."

We stared at each other, the cracking of the pool balls sounding loud in the charged air between us. A range of emotions flashed over Eli's face: anger, confusion, hurt. I watched him, letting my eyes move over his handsome features before he turned away again.

I closed my eyes and my breath caught as a memory swept over me forcefully. Eli and I tumbling onto my bed, laughing as our lips met over and over. His strong arms wrapping around me, while his hands skimmed my skin. My groans and gasps as he teased me; my voice, rough with desire as I begged him to make me come. Eli, moaning my name when my ass pulsed around him, making him tremble and come deep inside me. The love I felt for him, crushing my heart with its enormity; the ache in my throat when he winked and told me he had a date with a dark-haired waitress from our favorite pub.

Blinking slowly, I looked at the man in front of me once more. The love I had known with him felt pale when compared to what I felt now for a green-eyed bartender with a sexy, lopsided smile. My heart faltered a bit when Eli turned and held my gaze with his own.

"Is that why we never see each other? Because of the, uh, feelings you had for me?"

"In the beginning, yeah." I sighed unhappily. "It was easier to not be around you and Carmen when I was still struggling. Next thing I knew, I was married and you had kids. Then I was single again, moved here, and met Edward … my whole life has changed."

Eli shook his head, clearly unconvinced. "Are you sure, Garrett? Is it going to work this time, or are you going to decide five years from now that guys were the wrong choice?"

"I'm not going to change my mind, Eli. Jesus Christ, I didn't go into this lightly. It's not something I'm trying out."

"You tried it out once before. And it's only been a few months since you and Kate divorced. You're jumping into things—"

"You're wrong. Kate and I were separated for almost a year before the divorce was finalized. Edward didn't know I was interested in him until _afterward_ , and I even dated a few guys before then.

"For the record, I wasn't just _trying things out_ with you," I said, working to keep the bitterness out of my tone. "It felt right."

"How can you be sure?"

"Are you sure that you should be with Carmen?"

"Of course," he huffed.

"I feel the same way. I need this, Eli. This is who I am."

"I just don't want to see you get hurt. And your boyfriend seems like a decent guy—"

"Oh, man, you are _not_ telling me you give a shit about what happens to my boyfriend," I scoffed.

"No, I'm not; I hardly know the guy. But if I still know you at all, _you_ give a shit about what happens to him. You've told me how much you struggled when things with Kate started going bad, and how you hated hurting her."

I stared at my ex, pressing my lips together tightly in an effort to keep my temper from rising. "I hated hurting her because I knew what she was going through. I went through almost the same thing when you left me, and for something I had no control over."

Eli's face went slack and I knew that if he could turn pale, the color would have drained from his cheeks.

"You didn't love me," I said quietly, holding my hand up when he opened his mouth to speak. "We both know you didn't and … well, it sucked at the time. It hurt and it was shitty, but you couldn't help the way you felt about Carmen, any more than I could help the way I _didn't_ feel about Kate. I know how badly it hurts to be left for something you can never be, and that's what bothered me so much about leaving Kate."

"I really am sorry. I never meant to hurt you. And for what it's worth, I did love you back then." He shrugged when I raised my brows at him. "You're right; it was never deep love, not like I have with Carm … or you have with him, I guess. I cared about you, though. I never wanted to see you unhappy, Gar."

"Thanks. It's not all your fault," I admitted. "I never told you how I felt. Maybe a part of me knew that if I did tell you, you'd bolt."

Eli shrugged and sipped his beer. "Maybe I wouldn't have." He smiled when I raised an eyebrow at him. "Eh, yeah, I would have. That probably makes me sound like a chickenshit, but I don't really care."

I smiled back. "You sound a lot like the arrogant fuck I used to know a few years ago. The one who traded in his brass balls the first time his wife smiled at him."

Eli grunted before he huffed out a laugh, and touched his glass to mine.

ooOOoo

Seth laid a hand on my forearm after Eli and Marcus's cab pulled away. "Hey, you okay? Looked pretty intense in there with Eli for a little while."

"Yeah, I'm good. Thanks, man."

"You wanna talk? We could go to Chinatown and grab some cold tea and lo mein." Seth's dark eyes were curious and a little concerned, making me smile warmly to reassure him.

"No, I'm just going to go home. You should, too; you must be tired. You okay to go back to Cambridge, or do you want to crash in my spare room?"

"My bed is calling me," he said with a grin, raising an arm to flag down another cab. "Have a good trip tomorrow, and thanks for the game. It was fun hanging with the straight boys … or mostly straight boys." He blinked and then we both burst out laughing. "Whatever the hell they were."

My smile faded as I walked back to the North End. I was both keyed up and exhausted when I let myself into my apartment, and I had to restrain myself from turning back around to head across town to Edward's. Instead, I mindlessly packed a duffel bag of clothes and organized my satchel for my meeting the next day, crawling into bed just before three.

I found myself staring into the dark and unable to sleep, Eli's words turning over and over in my head. Our conversation had been long overdue, and I was glad he finally knew the truth about me and the reasons we had slowly grown apart. Even so, my emotions were all over the place. I wasn't sure if I felt relieved to have been so open, or sad about the possibilities we seemed to have lost.

My phone's chime on the nightstand made me jump, and an anxious feeling filled my chest as I read Edward's text.

_Love you. Wish I was there tonight._

I held on to the phone, watching the sky outside my windows slowly turn from black to grey as the dawn broke. When my alarm went off, I forced myself to get up and prepare for work. My body and mind were tired as I showered and dressed, but I couldn't call in sick, and didn't really want to; I looked forward to a full day of meetings to distract me.

After picking up my car downtown, I parked outside of the garage with my phone, reading Edward's text again. I wanted to drive across town and climb the stairs of his apartment, to creep into his bed, and wrap myself around him while he chuckled sleepily and pulled me close. I didn't trust myself to be near him, though; I needed to process the words and feelings still fresh in my head. Instead, I let my fingers type out a reply, hoping Edward could read the earnestness in my message.

_Me too, Ed. I miss you._

ooOOoo

The client meeting in Springfield was exactly what I wanted it to be: long and intense, allowing me to get lost in something other than my head. It was nearly six in the evening when we wrapped up, and I was feeling the previous night's sleeplessness. I checked my text messages as I packed up my satchel and found a few from Edward, mostly funny observations about his day, and one sent just an hour before.

_Miss your face, G._

Pressing his number, I frowned at the late hour, wondering if I could catch him before he started his shift. Disappointment surged through me when the call went to voicemail, and I realized it had been twenty-four hours since we had spoken to each other.

"Hey, Ed." I could hear the fatigue in my voice as I spoke. "We're just finishing here. I'm really fucking tired, though, so I'm going to find a hotel and crash for a few hours. Um—" I licked my lips, feeling suddenly nervous. "Will you call me if you get this in the next couple of hours? I, ah … it'd be nice to hear your voice. Miss you."

A soft-spoken voice caught my attention as I pressed END.

"Did I hear you say you weren't driving back to Boston tonight, Mr. Carr?"

I blinked tiredly at the young assistant who was gathering the file folders on the table into a pile, and she blushed.

"I didn't mean to eavesdrop," she said quietly. "I'm sorry about that—"

"That's okay, Kim," I interrupted with a smile. "I don't mind that you heard me. And no, I don't think I should drive that far tonight; I'm pretty beat, to tell you the truth."

She straightened her glasses with one hand, her pretty face sympathetic. "We have a corporate account with a nice hotel just a few blocks from here. If you give me a minute, I'll get you the code."

"That would be wonderful," I said gratefully, pulling my aching body out of the chair.

My fatigue increased as I checked in and ordered room service, and the hot shower I took while waiting for the order only made me more sluggish. I ate my club sandwich and watched the evening news, struggling to stay awake in case Edward could find a minute to call. At seven-thirty, when I found myself dozing, I dragged myself to the bathroom to brush my teeth and then fell into bed. My sleep was swift and sound; I buried my face in one of the pillows, wishing groggily for strong arms to hold me, and knew no more.

ooOOoo

The clock read 4:34 A.M. when I woke with a jolt. I blinked at the unfamiliar surroundings until I remembered where I was, and immediately reached for my phone. I frowned when I realized that Edward had not called back, but instead left a text not long before.

_Sorry I missed you, baby. Sleep well, love you._

I thought about calling back for a moment before I tossed back the blankets and got up. Forty minutes later, I was checked out and on the Mass Pike, driving back to Boston. The pre-dawn traffic was almost non-existent, shaving significant time off the two-hour trip. A smile crossed my face when I saw the city skyline in the distance, and I gave the car a little more gas.

Edward's apartment was quiet when I let myself in, with just enough light to let me see two pairs of shoes by the door, along with an unfamiliar jacket. I noted that Edward's bed was empty as I passed his room, but my mind went blank with surprise when I walked into the living room. Edward was sitting awake at one end of the sofa, while Liam lay curled up toward the other end, his head in Edward's lap. It was another second before I saw the bruises on Liam's face and his split lip, as well as the sling cradling his left arm. I was across the room in a flash, my eyes darting from Liam to Edward with concern.

"Jesus, what the hell happened?" I asked softly, bending to cup Edward's face with my hands. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine." His eyes closed for a long moment as he covered one my hands with his own. "Lee was jumped on his way home tonight; a couple of guys took his bag and roughed him up. I left the bar after close and met him at the ER. We got here about an hour ago."

Edward's eyes were tired and red-rimmed behind his glasses when he looked at me again, and I moved at once to squeeze in beside him on the sofa. I drew him close with one arm, and held his free hand in mine.

"Is he okay?" My heart twisted a little when I looked down at the other man's bruised face.

"They dislocated his shoulder when they were fighting with him over the bag," Edward replied darkly, running his other hand gently over his friend's hair. "He was carrying his phone in his coat pocket, thank God, so he could call 911.

"His house keys were in the bag, and they have his address from his license. The cops are checking it out, but I didn't want him to stay there alone."

I shook my head at Edward's uncertain expression. "Of course, sweetheart, I feel the same way. Why are you guys out here instead of in one of the bedrooms?"

"Iss my fault," Liam said suddenly, his words slightly garbled. He seemed to try to open his eyes before he gave a low grunt and turned his face toward Edward's belly.

Edward chuckled. "They gave him Vicodin for the pain at the ER and he's not used to it. When he's not sleeping, he's pretty fucking stoned."

"Not stoned. Just … dunno," the other man mumbled.

"The pills make him feel a little sick, so if he's going to barf, I'd rather it happen out here than in one of the beds. Plus, he's pretty much refused to move since we sat down. Fucking dickhead," Edward said quietly.

His smile was shaky when he raised his eyes to mine, and I couldn't help myself; I leaned in and kissed him, squeezing his hand tightly when he sighed against my lips. He seemed calmer when I pulled back, and laid his head on my shoulder.

"I'm really fucking glad to see you, Gar, but what are you doing here so early? Did you leave Springfield in the middle of the night?"

"Almost," I replied.

"Why? I'm not complaining, but you must be tired."

"I got something like eight hours of sleep last night, Edward; don't worry about me. What about you; have you even been to bed yet?"

"Nope. Too busy looking after Mr. Pukey here."

"Should we try to move him?" I asked, frowning down at the other man. "Or what do you want to do?"

"I'm going to call Seth for some help at a more decent hour," Edward said. "Do you mind if we just hang out here until then?"

"Of course not. Why don't you try to get some sleep?"

"Uh-uh; I can sleep later. Talk to me, Gar. Did you guys have fun at the game the other night?"

I smiled at his stubbornness. "Yeah, it was good. I'm sure Seth learned a lot more about hockey than he ever expected to."

We talked quietly for the next hour as the room slowly filled with morning sunlight. Edward's grasp on my hand tightened when I told him about my conversation with Eli, and he raised his head to search my face with concerned eyes.

"I'm glad you told him," he said simply.

"Me, too. He deserved to know."

" _You_ deserved to be heard, Garrett."

I hummed in response, smiling to let him know I agreed.

"Are you still friends?" Edward asked gently.

"I think so," I replied. "If we're not because he can't handle the way I felt five years ago or because I came out ... well, maybe that's for the best."

Edward was quiet for a little while before he spoke again. "You have said Eli's name. In your sleep, I mean."

"Oh, fuck, Edward," I said with a groan of apology.

"It was when you had the flu, though." He squeezed my hand again to reassure me. "You said a lot of weird stuff in your sleep, especially those first couple of nights when your fever was pretty high. Like you told me there was an umbrella in the dishwasher."

I bit my lip to stifle my laughter. "Shit, I'm so sorry."

"Don't worry about it, baby. You said my name, too. A lot." He gave me a shy smile, his cheeks reddening slightly.

At half-past eight, we called Seth, who showed up within an hour with a tray of coffees and bagels. We roused Liam, exhausted and still loopy, and coaxed him to eat a little breakfast before he asked to go back to bed. It seemed to take forever to get him off the couch and down the hall to Edward's guest room, but he was docile and compliant.

"Mighta been wrong about you, Garr," Liam slurred as he lay back on the pillows, his eyes closing despite his efforts to focus them. "Not so bad … maybe."

"I won't hold it against you," I replied, watching Seth ease the other man out of his jeans while Edward counted out another dose of painkillers.

"Make him sleep, Gar," Seth said, jerking his chin toward Edward. "I've got this."

Though I could see the fatigue in Edward's face, he wasn't in the mood to sleep. He pulled me close when the bedroom door closed behind us, his deep kisses instantly warming my whole body.

"Fuck, Ed," I breathed, when we came back up for air, and groaned when he squeezed my ass almost roughly.

"Mmmm," he said nipping at my throat with his lips. "I'm not sure that's such a good idea with our friends in the next room. I want you, though. I missed you the last couple of nights."

"Let me make you feel good," I murmured, leading him to bed. "You have to promise to be quiet. Lee's finally starting to like me; I don't want you traumatizing him with those fuckhot noises you make when you come."

"Jesus."

Edward's eyes were burning as I reached for his belt buckle, and he tore his _3RD Bass_ t-shirt over his head when I opened his button fly. I undressed him and removed his glasses, then guided him to lie down on the bed before I stripped off my own clothes. Arranging myself over him, I kissed him hard and stroked his skin with my hands, grinding my cock against his until he was moaning quietly.

"Shh. Quiet, sweetheart," I murmured, kissing him again before I rolled away and twisted my body so my head faced his feet. Edward made a hungry sound as I kissed my way down his torso and groin, his hands coming to rest on my hips when I rolled him onto his side. He trembled when I licked his shaft, and thrust his hips forward gently when I tongued his balls.

I took the head of his dick in my mouth, then pulled back again with a grin when he swore. "You have to be quiet, Ed."

"I'll try." Edward's voice was low and rough, his expression almost pained when I raised my head enough to look at him. He bent to kiss my groin, and almost whined when I pulled away from him slightly.

"Relax. Don't worry about me right now, okay? I want to do this for you."

He paused, clearly torn, before nodding slowly. I slid my lips over him again, making him gasp and press his face against my thigh when I began to suck in earnest. He was quiet until I swirled my tongue around his head. He moaned into my skin, curling one arm around my hip, while the other moved between my legs to rest his hand on my ass.

I drove him crazy with my hands and mouth, reducing him to an incoherent, writhing mess within minutes. I pumped him with one hand while rolling his balls with the other, and tongued his perineum until his breaths were ragged.

"God," he whispered against my skin, his thighs trembling around my face. "Gar, please … oh, baby, that feels so fucking good."

I took him deep and swallowed as he panted against me, his cock hardening even more in my hand.

"Just, shit, just like that," he gasped out, his arms like iron around me. "Gonna come."

I wrapped one hand around the base of his cock before swallowing again, and felt his balls drawing up before his dick lurched and he came down my throat. Edward tried to smother his sounds, but the orgasm wracked his body and I couldn't help my own low groan of pleasure as I drank him down. He was still shaking and high when I turned myself around to crawl back up the bed.

"Watch me," I murmured, waiting until he raised his heavy-lidded eyes to mine before straddling his waist. I took myself in hand, hissing as the sensation rushed through me, curling around my hips and down my spine. Edward's hungry, awed expression pushed me quickly over the edge as I pumped myself. My body flexed and I came hard, painting his torso with come. I bit my lip to keep quiet, but gasped when Edward's hands moved over my skin, pulling me down beside him.

"You're unbelievable," he said, holding me tightly as I caught my breath.

"Love you." I kissed his cheek, his forehead, his sleepy eyelids, the bridge of his nose, anywhere I could reach.

He laid his head on my shoulder with a sigh. "Love you, too."

ooOOoo

"Lee likes you fine, by the way," Edward murmured against the back of my neck.

It was three o'clock and we could hear Seth and Liam moving around in the apartment beyond the bedroom door. Edward had woken a little while before to pull my tablet out of my hands with a grunt before pushing me back against the sheets. He made me come twice before letting go himself, and was now kissing his way across my shoulders while I lay on my stomach.

"Since when?" I asked lazily.

"Since you handed him his ass that night at Underbar. He was pissed for a while, but he could tell you were serious about me."

"And he told you this when?" I turned in his arms, watching him smile sweetly.

"Bits and pieces for a while now. We talked while we were waiting in the ER last night, too."

"Well that explains it; it was the Vicodin talking."

Edward laughed. "No, no; this was before they gave him a dose. He was sober, I promise. He apologized for being douche bag."

"That was nice of him," I said thoughtfully, and then smiled when Edward's ears and cheeks flushed with color. "What is it?"

"He gave me some shit when I told him I didn't feel ready to move in together."

Edward chuckled when I blinked in surprise. "He did?"

"He asked what the hell I'm waiting for." He smoothed the hair back from my forehead. "I didn't really have an answer for him, either."

We were quiet for a few moments. My chest tightened as I pulled him on top of me, gazing up at his beautiful, hopeful face.

"Sweetheart, have you changed your mind?"

"Yes," he said, amending nervously when I licked my lips. "If you still want me."

"You silly man. Of course, I still want you. Move in with me?"

He smiled and leaned down to kiss me. "I'd like that."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Our boys are moving in together - aiiiieeee! Well, once Liam's okay to go back home that is. Poor guy. 
> 
> Thank you so much for reading and your lovely reviews - they really make my day.
> 
> I could play with Ed and Gar forever, but I have just a couple more chapters left in mind. I'll see you soon xxoo
> 
> Notes:
> 
> The Boston Bruins are a professional ice hockey team based in Boston, Massachusetts.
> 
> The TD Garden, a.k.a., the Garden, is a multi-purpose arena in Boston, Massachusetts.
> 
> Smuttynose Brewing Company is a brewing company in Portsmouth, New Hampshire.
> 
> Cold tea is the practice of serving alcohol (usually beer) after legal serving hours. Some restaurants in Boston's Chinatown (and several other major cities) serve beer in teapots after the bars and clubs have closed down for the night.
> 
> 3RD Bass was an American hip-hop group that rose to fame in the late 1980s and early 1990s.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to my lovely beta, Discordia81; she makes my docs better. I tinkered after she sent this chapter back; all mistakes are mine.

The line between Edward's brows unsettled me.

"You okay?" I asked quietly, rubbing his forearm when he turned to look at me. We were sitting at a departure gate in Logan, waiting for our flight to Portland to board. I knew he was tired from working the night before, but Edward seemed unusually pensive.

"Sure, I'm okay. Just a little sleepy." One side of his mouth lifted in a lopsided smile that didn't make it to his eyes, and the line between his brows didn't budge.

"What time did you get home last night?"

"Almost four. We had a meeting after close.' He frowned. "Did I wake you?"

"Not really; I was having trouble sleeping anyway."

"I'm sorry; why didn't you say something when I came to bed?"

"I thought if I kept quiet, you'd fall asleep sooner. You seemed restless ... worried." I nibbled at my lip, remembering the way he'd lain behind me the night before, his body tense. "Like right now. I can see it all over your face, Ed. What's bothering you?"

He seemed to sag in his chair and my heart turned at his sad expression.

"Malice and Bella are thinking about trying for a baby in the next year or so."

I shrugged in confusion. "Is that bad news?"

"No, I think it's great." He ran a thumb over his lip. "They asked Jasper and me to consider being the, er, _donors_."

Surprise made me quiet for a moment before I spoke again. "That's wonderful. Isn't it? Imagine a little Edward clone running around."

His expression darkened. "That's just it, though, Gar. There would be a kid out there that was mine, but I wouldn't be their parent."

"Well, sure you would," I replied, taking one of his hands in mine, feeling puzzled when he slowly shook his head. "Bella and Mal are two of your best friends; they'd want you involved in their child's life, especially if you were the father."

Edward looked down at our joined hands resting on his thigh. His voice was soft when he spoke again. "I don't see how it would work, Gar. I'd be the baby's biological parent, sure. But the day-to-day stuff ... I wouldn't be there for that, no matter how hard we tried to make it happen, unless I lived with them. That's not going to happen; Mal and Bella want their own lives."

"You don't know that, sweetheart."

"You're right; I don't know that for sure." He sighed. "I can guess, though, that our friends would want to be parenting on their own. In the meantime, there would be a kid out there with my genes and, at best, I'd be some kind of glorified uncle or buddy.

"I don't want that for a kid of mine. I don't want that for me, either. And then there's you ..."

"Me?" I asked quietly.

Edward raised his eyes to meet mine, and the emotions flickering over his face made my throat tighten.

"If I ever have kids of my own," he continued slowly, "I want to be there, all the time, for everything. Not just a once or twice a week and every other weekend. I know what that's like from growing up around Elizabeth. I wouldn't put a kid through that, or you."

Nothing I could think to say seemed adequate. This was the first time Edward had ever mentioned the possibility of wanting children. While I wasn't particularly surprised, I realized I had no idea how I felt about the idea. I settled for squeezing his hand, leaning forward to press a soft kiss to his cheek just as the first boarding call came over the speakers above us.

"Why didn't you tell me?" I asked, as we got to our feet and began moving toward the Jetway with our carry-on bags.

"I thought I'd wait until after the trip. Didn't want to take the focus off of your birthday."

"Idiot." I smiled at him fondly. "Did you give them an answer? Bella and Mal, I mean; did you say no?"

Edward shook his head. "No. I told them I needed some time to think about it. I don't know why ... I just couldn't shoot them down last night. I hate disappointing them."

He sighed and ran a hand over his head. "Jas wasn't ready to answer either, and the girls seemed okay with waiting for a little while. I'll ... I'll tell them when I get back from Portland."

I pulled him toward me with one arm, my heart squeezing at his obvious tension. "It'll work it out, sweetheart; we'll figure it out. Try not to worry too much."

ooOOoo

Edward fell asleep shortly after takeoff, the long hours and stress of the night before finally catching up with him. I eased his seat back when the flight attendants began moving around the cabin, and draped his jacket over him to keep him warm.

I tried to read as we flew west, but my attention wandered from my tablet back to the man beside me and his earlier words. My eyes moved over his sweep of long lashes and his pink lips pursed in sleep. Longing curled low in my stomach, tinged with a vague anxiety. Our brief discussion about children unsettled me and made me wonder if either of us was ready for such a huge change when we were still piecing our lives together.

Since agreeing to move in with me, Edward slept in my bed every night, but we hadn't made the move official. He still stopped at his apartment a couple of times a week to get his mail and changes of clothes. He also checked in with Liam, who had moved into Edward's spare room after being mugged the month before. The two men had spoken about transferring Edward's lease, but nothing had happened beyond discussion, and I wondered why.

ooOOoo

"The lobsters you shipped were delivered yesterday and they look amazing," my mother said as I steered her car southwest through the city's neighborhoods. "Some of the family is coming for dinner tonight, too. Everyone's really looking forward to finally getting a chance to celebrate your birthday."

"Mom, you know I don't want to make a big deal about it," I said, gentle warning in my voice. "Edward worked last night and we're tired from flying. We just want to chill out with you guys and have a nice evening."

"I slept on the plane, Claire," Edward helpfully pointed out from the backseat, making me curse under my breath. "Don't worry about me; I'll be fine."

"You have to share him with us, Garrett," my mother chided, making my cheeks heat before she turned to flash a smile at the man in the backseat.

"Just don't go too crazy," I insisted. "Edward's only in town for a couple of days, so let's try not to overwhelm him with crazy, happy Carrs before he flies back on Monday morning, okay?"

I felt more than saw my mother frown. "I was sorry to hear that you can't stay the extra few days, Edward. Could you not get the time off?"

"No, ma'am, I'm sorry," Edward replied, "we're making some changes at the bar and I'll be moving to the day shift starting next Tuesday.

I smiled as Edward told my mom about his new schedule. Masen's long-term daytime bartender had given notice only two weeks before, leaving Jasper and Edward with a position that was often difficult to fill. The evening shifts brought more patrons into the bar, which meant more tips, so the bartenders preferred fewer, high-paying evening shifts that left them with more free time. I had been surprised when Edward expressed interest in switching from nights to days but pleased; the schedule would allow him more time for writing and we'd be able to spend a lot more time together

"Will it seem weird to work Monday through Friday again?" My mom turned toward Edward as she spoke.

"Maybe," Edward allowed. "But I'll have a lot more time to write in the evenings and just hang out." I watched him smile in the rear-view mirror. "I'll still work on Sunday nights, too; that's our busiest night and I couldn't pass up the tips."

"You'll be up for the better part of two days straight, Edward. Won't you be tired?" I understood the question in my mother's voice; I had tried unsuccessfully to talk him out of the Sunday shift, too. Edward was looking forward to the schedule change, but had concerns about how it would impact his income.

"Yes, ma'am, I suppose so. I work double-shifts pretty regularly, though, so the Sunday-Monday combo shouldn't be a problem, especially if I get a few hours' sleep in between."

Warmth spread through me Edward caught my eye in the mirror and smiled. His green eyes shone with affection and a hint of mischief that was undeniably sexy.

"You'll be mixing drinks in your sleep," I said. "Maybe Jas will let you wear your pajamas to work."

Edward's huge grin made my mom laugh. "More tips for me!"

ooOOoo

Despite my request for a quiet evening, dinner that night was a raucous affair, filled with food, wine, and laughter. In addition to my birthday, the family was celebrating my brother and Charlotte's engagement again, mostly for Edward's and my benefit. Several aunts, uncles, and cousins were in attendance, as well as Charlotte's six-year-old son, Brady.

The vague concerns I'd had that the family might be uncomfortable around Edward and me faded almost immediately. Our agreement to tone down our physical demonstrations seemed unnecessary when Edward charmed everyone with the easygoing candor that I found so appealing. Even Brady, normally shy and soft-spoken during large gatherings, warmed to Edward's open smile and way of listening closely when the little boy spoke.

"Have you been talking to Brady about the possibility of a little brother or sister sometime in the future?" my mother asked, looking from both Peter to Charlotte as they glanced at one another.

"Not very seriously," Charlotte replied. "We're just looking forward to the wedding at this point; we'll cross the bridges beyond that when we get to them."

My father's expression became concerned. "I thought Brady was feeling better about the wedding?"

"He is," Peter replied quickly. "We've talked a lot about what my place is in the family, and he seems much more comfortable. But the wedding's still a big deal; we don't want to overwhelm him with too much at once."

"My dad is coming to the wedding too," Brady piped in, his looking around the table and grinning when he met Edward's eyes last. "My dad is a chef. He makes the best mac and cheese I ever ate."

"We asked Demetri if he wanted to cater the wedding," Peter said with a grin, "but he turned us down; said he'd rather take a night off and get drunk with the rest of us."

The air filled with laughter, but I noticed that Brady looked uncertain. I was not at all surprised when Edward folded his hands on top of the table and turned toward the little boy.

"You know, my dad met the lady who became my mom when I was a little younger than you."

"You did? That must have been a really long time ago." Brady grinned when Edward laughed. "So you kinda had two moms?"

My heart panged as Edward shrugged and smiled. "Yup, kinda. Elizabeth's my mom, and Esme, the lady my dad married, is my mama."

Brady cocked his head. "And she's your friend, too, right? The lady you called Esme?"

"She's one of my very _best_ friends," Edward replied as he speared lobster with his fork. "One of my favorite people in the whole world, too."

"What a sweetie," Charlotte murmured. Her blue eyes were bright when I met them across the table, but it was the sight of my brother's nod of approval as he watched Brady and Edward talking that made me smile.

"Now what about you, Garrett?" my Aunt Sue asked, her voice a little too loud from the wine that had been flowing all night. "Are you planning to have any children? At your age, your friends back in Boston must be starting to settle down and having kids, too."

"Oh, well, not really," I said, narrowing my eyes at Peter when he scoffed quietly behind my aunt's back. "Some of our friends are, uh, talking about kids, but no one's anywhere near getting started."

"How would that work, I wonder?" Sue continued, seemingly more to herself than anyone in particular until she caught Edward's glance. "Would you be the dad, Edward, or would Garrett?

"I guess you'd need to find a ... lady ..." she trailed off when she realized that Brady was looking at her curiously. She had the good grace to blush as my mom took the little boy into the kitchen, whispering something about finding dessert.

"It all depends on the couple, ma'am," Edward offered kindly. "As Garrett said, some of our friends are talking about it and figuring out donors and that kind of thing. Some friends of ours, Bella and Malice, are looking into donors right now."

"Oh, what about you, Gar?" Charlotte piped in.

"Not happening. I'm not exactly the paternal type, Char." I smiled when she rolled her eyes at my snarky tone. "Luckily, our friends have a pretty big circle of friends that might want to help out. Our friends Jasper and Alec, for instance: they're really close to Bella and Mal, so maybe they can work something out."

"Mmm," Edward hummed as he swallowed a sip of wine. "It'd be Jas, though; Alec can't have kids."

I looked at him in question. "Really?"

"Alec had cancer a few years ago, and the radiation and chemo did a number on him. He's fine otherwise, though, and that's all he cares about."

My stomach twisted at the knowledge that our vibrant friend had been sick; hell, that he was in remission. I swallowed hard when I remembered that Alec and Edward were the same age; the idea of something that serious happening to the man I loved was untenable.

In the next second, I was startled out of my dark thoughts when the room suddenly dimmed, only to be brightened again by the glow of low flames as the smiling faces around me burst into song.

"Oh, shit," I mouthed at Edward as my mother and Brady brought out a huge sheet cake blazing with candles.

"Happy Birthday, baby," he mouthed back, smiling as my family sang.

ooOOoo

"How long has Alec been in remission?" I asked as Edward pulled me closer to snuggle under the blankets in what had been my room as I grew up.

"Almost five years. He's been clean the whole time; no scares or false positives." Edward's breath was warm against the back of my neck.

"It doesn't bother him that he can't have kids?" I thought again of our handsome, quirky friend who seemed to love life so much.

"I think it does sometimes. But you know Alec; he's a here and now kind of guy. When he went into remission, he decided that living was the important thing, even if he had to do it with only one of his balls."

I said nothing for moment, surprised not only by Edward's words but by his casual tone. "Is that what it was? Testicular cancer?"

"Yeah. They found it early, though, before it got into other parts of his body." He yawned. "That's why we like to say that Old Lefty got lucky."

"Lefty?" I frowned, irritation stirring inside me. "What, as in his left ball?"

"And as in that's the one he's got left," Edward replied.

Feeling his cheek pull up in a smile against the nape of my neck made me stiffen with sudden anger. "That's not funny. Why would you laugh about that? Alec's your friend, and you guys are cracking jokes about his cancer? That's so fucked up."

"Whoa, Garrett, slow down."

Edward's arms slid away and I felt him trying to turn me to face him in the bed before he scrambled up and over my body, settling down on my other side. There was apology in his face, and some concern.

"Gar, Alec came up with that nickname; it wasn't us. He's the kind of guy that laughs about stuff like having cancer instead of feeling sorry for himself."

"And you think it's funny?" I pressed, ignoring the hand he laid on my upper arm. "Would you be laughing if I was the one that was sick?

Edward sighed, the expression in his big eyes becoming serious. "I think the nickname is funny, yes; it makes him sound like an old gangster. I think that Alec wanting to laugh at what happened to him is amazing and brave. It works for him. He and Jas don't like to focus on what could have happened if things went wrong.

"You weren't there, Gar," he said, his brows furrowing. "Alec had a hard time, and so did Jas. If you came out on the other side of something the way they did, you might want to laugh about it too, instead of crying."

"How bad did ..." I trailed off before swallowing the question; unsure that Alec's private business was my business if he didn't want to share it with me.

"The treatments were difficult. He was also anemic and prone to fainting, so he needed help to do a lot of things. Alec hated feeling that he'd lost his independence, and Jasper hated feeling helpless." Edward shook his head slowly, pausing for several moments before he continued.

"When we'd get together, Alec wanted us to make him laugh. He said it made him feel lighter ... more hopeful. We've always teased each other anyway; it's just how we are around each other, and it was what he wanted. Sometimes the best thing on a shit day is a good laugh."

Edward licked his lips, his grip on my arm tightening slightly. "If you were the one that were sick," he said gruffly, "I'd do anything to make you feel better, Gar. Anything you needed, I'd want to find a way to make it happen."

"I'm sorry I got mad." I pulled him toward me, needing to chase away the sadness in his face.

"It's okay." His lips moved against mine as I settled on top of him. "We all joke around too much—"

"No, you're right; it's the way you guys are and what you need from each other a lot of the time. Most of the time, I kind of love the way you guys are always on each other." I picked up my head, my throat and chest choked with love as I looked at the man beneath me.

"I love you, Gar," he whispered.

"I love you, too." I clung to him, burying my face in his neck and pushing down thoughts of this man, ill and unable to care for himself without assistance.

As he often did, Edward read my mood, sensing need for comfort and connection over lovemaking. He pulled me against his side, his big hands stroking my back and shoulders, soothing me with each touch. We talked quietly in the darkened room, stopping often for kisses and caresses, until we drifted off to sleep.

ooOOoo

Despite having stayed up late talking, Edward and I woke early and made a huge breakfast to surprise my parents, using every egg in the house. Afterward, we capitalized on the dry, mild weather by touring the Japanese Gardens near my parents' neighborhood for most of the morning. Watching Edward's face as we explored the grounds with my parents filled me with pleasure.

"What do you think?" I asked finally, intrigued by his avid expressions.

He turned to look at me, pink-cheeked and bright-eyed underneath his black watch cap, and smiled brilliantly.

"It's beautiful, Gar, even now in the middle of winter! I can't imagine what this is all like when everything is in full bloom." He reached for my hand and chuckled. "It's so warm here, too, Jesus, between the jetlag and the weather; I feel a little drunk."

"We'll come back when it's warmer," I promised, grinning when Edward's brows shot up with interest. "This summer might not work, but maybe we can squeeze some time in before Thanksgiving."

We had lunch downtown before getting lost in Powell's City of Books, an experience I'd wanted to share with Edward since learning he was a writer. As I expected, he was awed by the store, and slightly overwhelmed by its sheer size. I laughed when he pulled me between the stacks in a quieter section, and had to swallow a groan when he pushed me gently against the shelves, his tongue in my mouth.

"This place is fantastic," he murmured when we surfaced for air, running his nose lightly along my jaw. "Thank you for showing me this, Garrett."

"You're welcome," I managed to get out around another heated kiss, my legs slowly turning to jelly. "I had no idea bookstores had this kind of effect on you."

Edward's voice was low and incredibly sexy. " _You_ have this effect on me, you silly man. If only we were alone, I'd bend you in half." I felt him smile when I moaned softly. "I'd be so deep inside you, Garrett. Fuck, so hot and tight."

"Oh, God," I breathed, fisting his Red Sox t-shirt. I wanted so much to let him continue, to let him make me come in my pants and leave me sweating and dizzy. Edward's eyes widened when I pushed him back and away. "C'mon."

"Where are we going?"

"Home," I said flatly, pulling him out of the stacks by one hand. "To bed. Right now."

"What about your parents?" he asked, laughing loudly.

I shook my head and tugged him forward even harder. "They have the car, Ed; I'll text them from a cab."

"Text who from a cab?"

I stopped short to avoid crashing into my dad, only to have Edward plow into my back. He knocked me forward anyway, and my dad held his hands out to steady me as we all laughed breathlessly and apologized over one another.

"What in God's name are you boys doing?" my mom asked, appearing out of nowhere to stare at us all. "I can hear the racket you're making in the next section."

I opened my mouth to make some kind of excuse, anything to get Edward and myself out of the store and back to the house, but the words died on my tongue when my mother smiled.

"Look who I found!" she said, turning to wave at Charlotte and Brady who were approaching.

"Of course my mother found people in the largest bookstore in the world." I sighed when Edward wound his arms around my waist and laid his chin on my shoulder. "Of course she's going to ask them to join us so we can't get out of here; she wouldn't be Claire Carr if she didn't."

"They're all excited to spend time with you," Edward murmured, pressing a quick kiss against my neck.

I tried not to pout. "It'd be nice if they put their excitement on hold for a couple of hours."

"A couple of hours?"

"We need time for a proper fuck," I replied, "and then extra time for blowjobs." I chuckled when Edward hummed.

ooOOoo

As I predicted, any chance of time alone with Edward disappeared in the stacks at Powell's. My parents invited Charlotte and Brady to join us for the afternoon and then to stay for dinner. Charlotte called my brother, who enthusiastically agreed to meet us when he was done working. Brady spent his time monopolizing Edward's attention.

_Fucking hell._

The day was chaotic, filled with endless conversations and interruptions as we shopped. I noticed Edward's lids drooping as we were finishing dinner, and though we were used to staying up late back in Boston, we were both exhausted when we fell into bed at ten o'clock.

"Changing time zones sucks," Edward mumbled as I pulled him back into my chest, pressing slow kisses against his shoulders and neck.

"You were restless last night, and we had a long day. I can tell you're about to pass out."

"M'okay."

"You looked completely jealous when Charlotte took Brady home after dinner," I countered, making us both laugh.

"There's truth in that," he agreed.

"Just sleep, sweetheart."

He sighed and snuggled against me. "Tomorrow's my last day here, though. I want to make the most of my time."

"I'm not sure you can make much more of it than you already are; my family is practically ready to adopt you," I said, my voice dry. The words were meant to be joking, but my tone was off, and I could tell by the way Edward's body tensed that he noticed it too.

"It's going well, I think? I know you and I haven't had a lot of time to just chill out ..." Edward's careful tone made me bite my lip.

"It's fine. I'm just a little spoiled because I have you all to myself back home." I kissed his shoulder again to reassure him. "Here, I have to share. My parents love you. Pete and Char do, too. And jeeze, Brady _really_ loves you."

"He's a fun kid." Edward's smile was evident in his voice. He turned to face me, his eyes adorably sleepy. "I don't want to talk about your family right now, though."

My breath caught when Edward's hand moved between my legs. "No?"

"No, baby," he murmured. "Right now, I want to talk about making you feel good."

"You're not too tired?"

"Never too tired for this." He ran his thumb over the head of my cock and swallowed my moan with a kiss.

ooOOoo

I woke up alone the next morning, Edward's side of the bed already cool to the touch though it was still very early. Lying still for a few minutes, I thought back to the night before, smiling lazily as I remembered the way he'd stroked us both, holding me tightly while his tongue fucked my mouth. It seemed to take no time at all before I lost it with my face buried in his neck, pulsing hot and wet between us with Edward close behind.

_Jesus._

Biting back a groan when my cock twitched, I forced myself to get up and dressed, hoping to find my boyfriend and persuade him back into bed for a little while longer. I sighed when I stepped into the hallway, however; the smell of fresh coffee and the sound of voices told me my parents were up; I knew getting Edward alone would be difficult.

Following my nose to the kitchen, I paused at the doorway in surprise; Edward and my dad were alone at the table with their coffee, a familiar pink box from VooDoo Doughnuts open between them as they talked. Edward was already dressed, though his hair was even more chaotic than usual and his _Bad Brains_ t-shirt was wrinkled. His expression was studious as he listened to whatever my father was saying.

The two men glanced my way when I cleared my throat, and I felt myself grin when they smiled.

"Mornin', Gar." Edward got to his feet and went to the coffeemaker. "You want some coffee?"

"Yes, please," I said, crossing the kitchen to stand at his side while he fixed a cup, glancing back over my shoulder at my father. "Hey, Dad."

"Hey. Edward and I thought we'd take a breakfast shortcut," he said, pushing the pink box toward me. "There's jelly, Portland Cream, Arnold Palmer, some Gay Bars, and a Maple Bacon bar."

"Only one Maple Bacon?" I asked, sipping my coffee as Edward and I sat down.

"There were two, but I ate one. You want the other?" Edward extracted the pastry from the box and placed it on a plate for me.

"Edward wants to make dinner for the family tonight," my dad said, handing me a napkin when I licked my fingers. "We should pick up some more red wine today when we go out. And eggs, since the two of you cooked every fucking one."

I held up my hand, waving my doughnut between us. "Breakfast first, Dad. I need food, a shower, and an assload more coffee before we do anything else today."

"Hear, hear," Edward said as he peered into the pink box again. "Hmm ... I think I'll go for the Gay Bar next." He extracted a doughnut covered with white frosting and a row of rainbow-colored cereal bits.

"That figures," my dad said, chuckling when I choked on my coffee.

"Hey, Fruit Loops are my favorite cereal!" Edward laughed as he dodged a balled up napkin flying in his direction.

"Jim, when you said you had breakfast covered, I didn't know you meant an overdose of yeast and sugar," my mother chided as she walked into the kitchen. She smiled when my dad hopped up to make her coffee, but hardly had time to say good morning when the doorbell rang and my brother's voice called from the front of the house.

"And so it begins," I murmured. "Chaos achieved."

Edward winked at me, twining his sugar-sticky fingers with my own.

ooOOoo

The dinner was a success, particularly when Edward and my mother also produced a baking dish of bubbling macaroni and cheese for Brady.

"Is everything he cooks this good?" my brother asked me as Charlotte refilled his wine glass.

"Pretty much." I smiled when Edward squeezed my thigh under the table.

Peter leveled a serious look across the table. "Marry him."

Irritation shot through me when he grinned. "Come on, man, don't screw around—"

"What? It's not like you can't do that in Massachusetts, Garrett," he spoke over me.

"I'm well aware of that—"

"You guys are perfect for each other, anyway, so what are you waiting for?" he continued, as if I hadn't spoken. "You and Edward should get married, buy a big house, adopt a dog, maybe some kids, all that awesome shit."

"Pete, you're not supposed to say words like 'shit' around me," Brady piped up, shaking a finger at my brother.

Peter smiled broadly at the little boy. "You're right, buddy, and I'm sorry. I got a little carried away trying to make Garrett see reason."

"Being unmarried _is_ reasonable, Pete," I said, working hard to keep my tone even. "As is not having children. Not everyone is cut out for the perfect American family template, you know."

"Oh, fine." I bit my tongue when Peter rolled his eyes. "You seemed perfectly okay with all of that back in the day, Gar."

"C'mon, love; give him a break," Charlotte chided, shooting an apologetic glance at me.

My brother raised his hands in mock defeat. "You know it's the truth, babe. I'm just saying—"

"Just saying things that don't really need to be said," I interjected, "especially when the only wedding you should be talking about, dear brother, is your own."

"I know you don't mean anything by it, boys, but I think you're making Edward uncomfortable," my mom said quietly, her eyes on the man at my side.

I turned to face Edward and was startled by his crimson cheeks and unhappy expression; he looked miserable.

"You mustn't take them seriously, dear," my mother was telling him. "You're not used to the way the boys go after each other, but trust me when I say they've been like this pretty much since birth."

Grabbing Edward's hand under the table, I felt my stomach fall when he looked down at his plate and laughed uncomfortably. "Oh, it's fine. I'm an only child, so any arguments I had in my house were settled pretty quickly."

"I wish we could say the same." Everyone's eyes shifted to the head of the table where my father was getting to his feet. "Unfortunately, my sons have always had trouble knowing when to shut up. The only way to really tune them out is to give them an occupation."

He aimed a wink at Edward and gestured over his shoulder with one hand. "Let the boys clear the table while I show you my dad's old photos that I told you about this morning. Maybe by the time the dessert and coffee are ready, Garrett and Pete will be ready to talk about something other than themselves."

I silently thanked my father and his ninja tension-breaking skills as the table broke into laughter. Edward gave me a smile as he stood, squeezing my fingers lightly before he moved away, but I could tell that my argument with Peter weighed on him. There was a hunch to his shoulders that I didn't like, and I was puzzled when my father laid a hand on the back of Edward's neck, almost as if in comfort.

"Shit. I feel bad," my brother said, coming to stand beside my chair. "I didn't offend him, did I?"

"I hope not. You and I really are going to have some words if you did, man."

Peter grimaced, running his hands over his hair. "I'm sorry, Gar, really; I didn't mean anything by it—"

"I know," I replied with a sigh. "Don't worry about it, okay? Let's just get the coffee and pie on the table before the old man comes back and finds us still standing here."

ooOOoo

Edward seemed himself again when we all sat back down for dessert, smiling and joking with everyone again. He was quieter, but blamed it on jetlag, which then opened the door for my mother to fuss about his leaving early the next morning. It wasn't until much later, after the flurry of goodbyes and promises of phone calls and emails had been exchanged, that we were finally alone.

Together, we packed his bag, laughing when we realized how much room the books he'd bought at Powell's occupied. The idea of staying behind while Edward flew east saddened me, though, and I found myself growing quieter as we prepared for bed.

"I fucked up, you know," Edward said as he slid under the sheets to lie beside me.

His deadpan expression made me smile, despite his words. "What do you mean?"

"We've been so busy; I forgot to give you your birthday present the other night."

"Jeeze, some boyfriend you are."

"I know, right?" He rolled on top of me, resting much of his weight on his elbows and knees so I had room to move.

"So where is this promised present?"

"Well ... I emailed it to you." He grinned when I raised a brow at him. "Really, I did. I wrote a story for you."

I bit my lip and made him laugh. "Ooo, what kind of story? Something dirty?"

"Maybe a little something dirty. And a little sweet, I hope," he replied, his eyes crinkling. "It's a story about this sexy guy from Portland who moves to Boston. He meets this well-meaning but slightly misunderstood bartender. Sparks fly, they have hot sex, et cetera—"

"You wrote about us?" I pulled him close, tempted to squeeze him until neither of us could breathe. "Really?"

"About how we met," he replied, his smile fading slightly as his expression became serious. "Don't tell anyone, but I've always been a sucker for a good romance."

"Hmmm, I didn't know that about you. How does it end?"

Edward buried his face in my shoulder with a sigh, his long arms wrapping around my neck. "Oh, I don't know. The story's still being written."

ooOOoo

"What were you and my dad talking about this morning before I got up? You guys looked kind of serious."

We were curled up together, boneless and sated after sex, and though I knew we should be sleeping, I felt wide awake. That feeling increased when I sensed that Edward was hesitating to answer.

"He wanted to know what it's like to be a gay man in Boston. Whether it's a safe place to be out, how easy it is to get married and adopt kids, that kind of thing."

I tensed with surprise and felt my face flood with heat. "Fucking hell, again with the weddings and the kids. What is wrong with everybody?"

"He's trying to figure out where you live, Gar." Edward's voice was soothing. "You're his son and you live on the other side of the country in a city he doesn't know. He just wants to know you're living someplace where you can be yourself."

"He should have asked me, then, instead of sneaking around, shopping for info." I felt dismay when I realized that I felt hurt that my father had gone to Edward, instead of me.

Edward laid his cheek against my shoulder. "He'll talk to you when he's ready, baby. He probably wants to... I don't know, prepare or something, before he approaches you."

"Still fucking embarrassing," I grumbled.

"My parents had a similar conversation with me, when I came out ... and then when I started dating ... when I went to college ... moved into my first apartment," he pulled me close when I chuckled. "It's a good thing he wants to know, Gar, trust me."

ooOOoo

My parents' house was quiet after Edward left. That was due in part to the weekend ending, and people getting back into the groove of work or school. A larger part, however, was the empty space he left.

Those few days were like many others I'd spent during my trips home to Portland. I had lunch with my brother and drinks with old friends from high school. I enjoyed spending some downtime with my parents, too, and was relieved when they finally approached me with their questions and concerns about my life in Boston.

What I looked forward to most, however, were my phone conversations with Edward. The time zones were challenging, especially with Edward spending extra hours at the bar training his replacement, but we spoke when we could. In the evenings, when the house was dark and still, I had the words of the story he'd written to fill my head.

ooOOoo

I waited until Edward put my bag down on the doorstep before pulling him into a hug. He froze in surprise for a second before relaxing against me.

"Thanks for picking me up at the airport; best surprise I've had in a while."

"You're welcome," he murmured.

I heard him inhale deeply, and smiled when he gave a low hum of appreciation. "Are you smelling me, you weirdo?"

"Maybe a little bit." He laughed, squeezing me once more before stepping back and looking me over with bright eyes. "I told you already that I missed you."

"I missed you, too," I replied my hands sneaking around on his waist while he opened the apartment door. "Who do I have to thank for covering the last part of your shift so you could drag yourself over to Logan?"

"Ah, that would be the new guy, Riley." Edward bent to pick up my bag, and held the door open for me. "He's good, knows what he's doing. Even better, he wants extra hours. Jas offered to go in early when I told him I wanted to meet you at the airport, but then Ri volunteered – that was all she wrote."

"I like him already," I said, breathing a soft sigh of relief to be in my apartment again.

Edward smiled softly. "Glad to be home?"

"Yeah, I really am." My travel fatigue seemed to fall away as we stood grinning at each other in the entryway, replaced with the pleasure of affection.

"Get settled, Gar, and I'll get something going for dinner." He stepped forward and ran a hand through my hair, kissing me sweetly before he turned toward the kitchen. "I picked up some sushi before meeting you."

I was putting away the contents my bag when I realized something was off about the bedroom. Standing still, I let my eyes wander, trying to pinpoint whatever it was that nagged me. My attention was drawn more than once to the bed, and more specifically to the small pile of garments near the foot. The t-shirt on top, as well as the other clothes were mine; I'd set them aside the week before, deciding at the last minute not to pack them. Slowly, I realized that the pile was in the same place because the bed hadn't been slept in; Edward hadn't moved the clothes because he hadn't needed to.

"I slept on the couch the first night." A quiet voice cut through the hush of the room, and I turned to find Edward watching me from the door. "I crashed at my parents' house for a couple of nights after that."

"Why? What happened?"

Edward licked his lips, his eyes moving to the floor and then back to mine again. "It seemed strange to be here without you. I couldn't sleep."

"I don't understand," I said slowly, frowning as I realized he was saying he was uncomfortable in the space I thought we had been sharing.

Edward opened his mouth to answer before seeming to think better of it. "Come on. We can eat while we talk."

We were quiet as we sat at the kitchen island. There was a variety of my favorite kinds of maki with some very good Japanese beer, and Edward had put on an old Sneaker Pimps album that I favored. I knew the food was good, but it seemed tasteless; I was too tense to enjoy it or the music, or the pleasure of being back home.

"Ed, what's going on?" I asked finally, unable to stand the tension any longer. "Why wouldn't you be comfortable here? This is _our_ place; I want you to feel at home in it."

Edward's mouth twisted in a wry little smile. "I do feel at home here, generally. When you're here, anyway." He was quiet for a long moment and looked unhappy as he gently moved his food around on the plate with his chopsticks. "I guess I don't really consider this _our_ place so much as _your_ place still."

I laid my chopsticks on my plate with a clack. "Edward, what are ... have you been feeling this way since you moved in? Not that you've really done that," I muttered, pressing my lips together when Edward's eyes shot up to meet mine.

"What does that mean?"

"It means that you've been sleeping here every night, but everything you own is still back on Jersey Street." I softened my tone when his expression grew troubled. "You're not really in one place or the other, if you think about it. I've been wondering why, actually."

"I've left a lot of my stuff in my apartment for Liam," he said reasonably. "He needs furniture and stuff until he can get his own stuff sorted out."

"Okay, so what about the rest of it? You could at least move your clothes and personal stuff, make it seem like you want to be here." My heart began thudding as I took in Edward's flat expression. "Unless ... you don't want to be here at all."

"I was thinking ... that it might be a good idea if we go back to the way we were before: you in your place, me in mine." Edward's voice was almost too calm, and I knew he'd been considering his words for some time.

"Fuck." I scrubbed at my face with my hands for a moment. "We talked about this, Ed. You're the one that brought up moving in that last time, sweetheart; you _told_ me you were ready."

"Yeah, I know."

"So what the fuck happened since last week to make you change your mind?"

He blew out a long breath before he got to his feet and went to the fridge for two more beers. Popping the tops off both, he handed one to me as he approached the table to sit down again, fiddling with the hem of his _Hot Tamales_ t-shirt.

"While we were in Portland with your family, you got weird any time marriage or kids were mentioned as something you might want for yourself. Did you know that?"

"They're always butting into my personal business, especially my brother," I scoffed. "I pretty much have to shoot Peter down out of hand, just to get some peace."

"Yeah, well, you were shooting me down, too." He watched me calmly as I stared at him in surprise. "Whether you get married and have a family or not, those things speak of having a future, or at least planning for one. The way you were talking last weekend, it didn't sound like that was something you wanted to do, Garrett, at least not with me."

"Shit. I'm sorry." I took his hand in mine, my heart twisting as Edward's face and neck flushed red. "I didn't mean to hurt you, Ed, or to make you feel dismissed. I definitely didn't mean to make you think that I don't want to plan a future. I do, very much, and definitely with you."

"Then what was that all about?" he asked earnestly. "The way you were reacting with your family was ... confusing."

"I'm not sure I understand it myself." I shook my head slowly. "The thing with Bella and Mal kind of threw me for a loop; the idea of you being a father ... the two of us as parents ... it seems so unreal, but I know that it's something that could happen right now.

"That idea is overwhelming. I feel like we need to decide so many things all at once, and I have no idea what the fuck I'm doing."

Edward frowned, cradling my hand in his. "You put too much pressure on yourself, Garrett. No one says we have to get married or have kids, and there's no rush figuring it out; we have all the time in the world to plan what we want to do."

"But what if we don't have all the time?"

"What do you mean?" he asked, his brow furrowing with concern.

"Things change, Edward. Things happen, all the time." I leaned forward, needing to get closer to him, and he curled one of his arms around my waist. "Look at Alec and Jas; I'm sure they thought they had plenty of time to figure stuff out before Alec got sick."

"I'm sure they did think that. Alec _did_ get sick, though, so he and Jas had to change their thinking, even after he got better." Edward sighed and smoothed the hair back from my forehead. "The point is that they worked it out, Gar. We would too if something like that happened."

"I know. I just hate to think that I'm wasting time, you know? For the first time in a long while, I know what I want. The thought of not being able to really grasp it before ..." I trailed off, my words tangling inside me.

"Before what? Before one of us changes our mind about being together?"

"I'm not changing my mind, sweetheart."

"Neither am I." His voice dropped lower as his breath ghosted across my cheek. "I'm not going anywhere, unless we _both_ decide it's not working. And ... well, I don't want to freak you out, but I hope that never happens."

I laughed and pulled him closer for a kiss, sighing when his mouth opened against mine so I could taste spice and salt and Edward.

"I don't want you to go back to your apartment," I murmured when we pulled apart. "I want you here, with me. If you don't like this apartment we can find another one."

He nodded slowly, one warm hand rubbing circles on my back. "Okay," he said simply. "My lease is up in June. I'll work out something with Lee for a sublet and move some of my stuff here. Let's see what you and I can do between now and June."

I swallowed my disappointment, knowing that Edward needed to take things at his own pace, and kissed him again, lightly. "I read the story you wrote for my birthday."

He pulled back, his eyes moving over my face. "Yeah?"

"I think I know how it ends," I said, with a smile.

Edward's answering smile was slow and sweet. "Then you should help me finish it."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N  
> Garrett caught a case of foot-in-mouth syndrome -- being around family can do that, I suppose. ;)  
> See you soon, friends, and thank you for reading. Oh, I've never been to Portland, so I hope my imaginings don't offend any residents. And, yes, I had to go there with the doughnuts because I WANT TO EAT THEM ALLLLLL. :D  
> Notes:
> 
> Voodoo Doughnut is an independent doughnut shop based in Portland, Oregon.
> 
> Powell's Books is a chain of bookstores in Portland, Oregon and its surrounding metropolitan area. Powell's headquarters, dubbed Powell's City of Books, claims to be the largest independent new and used bookstore in the world.
> 
> The Portland Japanese Garden is a traditional Japanese garden occupying 5.5 acres (22,000 m²), located within Washington Park in the west hills of Portland, Oregon.
> 
> Bad Brains is a hardcore punk band formed in Washington, D.C., in 1977.
> 
> Edward lives in a neighborhood of Boston called The Fens.
> 
> Hot Tamales are a cinnamon candy manufactured by the Just Born in the USA.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi *waves* :)
> 
> Thank you to my lovely beta, Discordia81; she makes my docs better. I tinkered after she sent this chapter back; all mistakes are mine.
> 
> Note: This is a slash story.

The Airstream Diner in Providence served four different kinds of pie: chocolate meringue, banana split, peanut butter cup, and pecan. Choosing one was much harder than I expected.

"You look like your brain is going to explode," Edward said with a smile. "Why are you stressing about pie when we haven't even placed our dinner orders yet?"

"Well, I've never been here before." I frowned at the menu in my hand while Edward's step-sister, Tanya, laughed gently. "You're always going on about how good the pie is here, but they all sound delicious; how the hell am I supposed to choose just one?"

It was early April and the spring semester in Boston had just ended. Edward and I had driven Tanya and her luggage home to Rhode Island, stopping for dinner and to wait for Tanya's sister to pick her up. Now, listening to the siblings' playful banter, I felt a familiar sense of relief to be included.

Things between Edward and I were strained for a time following the trip to Portland. It took a while for us to work through the mess I'd made with my thoughtless words and gestures, and Edward struggled with his instinct to retreat out of fear that he'd make things worse. True to his word, though, he had moved most of his things into the North End apartment or into storage, and set up a sublease with Liam for the apartment on Jersey Street. Slowly, Edward's language changed; now when he talked about home, it was 'our' place rather than 'Garrett's'.

My attention snapped back to the present when I heard Tanya say my name.

"You do have to choose something eventually." Her blue eyes sparkled as she flapped the menu in one hand. "But if you're really having that much trouble, I'm sure Ed will split orders with you."

"No, that's okay," I replied quickly as Edward's expression brightened. I knew that one of the only things he liked about these trips was eating pie at the diner; making him share seemed wrong. "I'll pick one ... I just need a minute."

Edward waved a hand at me. "I'll totally share, but I may kill someone if I don't get a sandwich first. I'm ready to eat my own hand."

"Did you skip lunch again?"

Edward gave me a sheepish look when I narrowed my eyes at him, murmuring something about having forgotten to eat before glancing at Tanya hopefully.

"Irina's meeting us for coffee after dinner," she reminded us, "so why don't we order a slice of each kind of pie and share?"

I couldn't hold back my groan when Edward's eyes lit up. "You do realize we have to drive back to Boston tonight, right, Ed? That may be hard to do if neither of us can fit behind the wheel of the car."

"I can't believe you're complaining about this." Edward squeezed my knee under the table. "I'll eat your piece if you're really concerned—"

"The fuck you will," I grumbled, elbowing him playfully before we turned our attention to the server who had come to take our orders.

We caught up with Tanya while we waited for our dinners, chatting about how her semester had gone and her plans for the summer in Providence. I liked Edward's step-sister, and enjoyed myself when the three of us got together. Though they weren't genetically related, Tanya and Edward were surprisingly compatible. They shared many of the same interests, especially music, and a quirky energy that was contagious. They were even similar physically: tall and lean with fair skin and light eyes, and Tanya's strawberry blonde hair seemed to echo Edward's dark auburn.

"Hey, whatever happened with the manuscript you told me about the last time I saw you?" Tanya asked her brother when our dinner plates had been set on the table. "You said that your agent was shopping it around to some publishing houses ...?"

I grinned when Edward's cheeks flushed with pleasure. Tanya's eyes went wide when a smile spread over his face. She laid her palms flat on the table on either side of her plate, leaning forward with excitement.

"You got an offer, didn't you?" she whispered.

"I did," Edward whispered in return. He glanced from Tanya to me, his eyes shining and his smile growing wider. "I got an offer earlier in the week."

"Oh, my God!" Tanya's squeal startled us and most of the diner's other patrons. "Edward! You're going to be a novelist! That's amazing! Why didn't you say something earlier?"

Edward tried to wave Tanya off. "I was going to tell you over dessert. It's not that big a deal, Tee—"

"Hey, come on now," I cut in with a frown. "You've been busting your ass writing every night for months. We're proud of you. _You_ should be proud of you, sweetheart."

"I am!" he insisted, ducking his head modestly. "I'm still getting used to the idea, that's all."

Tanya looked puzzled. "What do you mean?"

Edward shrugged and reached for my hand. "I hoped it would happen, of course, but I was definitely bracing myself for disappointment. I'd already half-convinced myself that it wouldn't happen by the time I got the phone call."

Tanya sighed as she slid out of the booth. Smiling sweetly, she moved to wind her arms around Edward's neck, winking at me when he chuckled. "What are we going to do with him, Garrett?"

"I don't know ... he's kind of cute," I replied, letting go of Edward's hand so he could hug Tanya back. "He's pretty good in the kitchen and has decent manners, too; I say we keep him."

"Quiet, you," Edward muttered. He made a show of straightening the front of his hoodie when Tanya pulled away before he stole a French fry from my plate.

"That's it. You're on your own when it's time for pie," I warned.

Edward gave me a knowing smile. "Yeah, you say that now. You'll change your tune when you get a look at the peanut butter cup food porn on my plate."

ooOOoo

Irina dashed into the diner just after our coffee and dessert order was set on the table.

"Shit, shit, shit," she chanted, "I'm sorry I'm late."

Like Tanya, Irina had large, beautiful blue eyes. Her personality was more reserved than her sister's, and she had a serious nature that seemed unusual in a high school student. Now, however, she appeared almost nervous as she greeted us, and drew concerned looks from both Edward and Tanya.

"You okay, Ree?" Tanya reached to push her sister's blonde hair back from her face.

Irina flapped her hand, thanking Edward when he pushed a cup of coffee toward her. She sipped from the cup and sighed unhappily. "Mom knows I'm here to pick you up, Tee, and that Ed gave you a ride. I'm pretty sure she's on her way over here."

Edward's face was stony when I glanced at him, though the hand he lifted to rub over the back of his neck spoke to his nerves.

"Shit," Tanya muttered, twirling her fork between her fingers. "You couldn't talk her out of it? Why would she do that, anyway?"

"Because she knows it's the last thing we want." Irina reached to put a hand on Edward's forearm. "I'm sorry, sweetie. She wouldn't listen to me when I—"

Edward shook his head immediately. "Don't apologize, Ree. You're not your mom's keeper." He gave her a small smile, covering her hand with his own. "It's okay, really. Gar and I have to get back to Boston soon anyway; it's getting late."

"Ed needs to be safely asleep before midnight or he turns into a disco ball," I deadpanned, biting my tongue to keep from smiling when the girls giggled.

Edward glared at me as he pulled his dessert plate out of my reach. "No peanut butter food porn for you, funny guy."

With a little pleading, though, and a promise to make him breakfast the next morning, Edward forgave my cheek. The four of us settled back, talking and exchanging dessert over coffee. Irina was excited by Edward's news about his book, as well as to share news about the college admissions she had been collecting.

The pie was every bit as good as Edward had promised. The pastry was flaky and tender, and the fillings were rich without being overwhelmingly sweet. While each piece was delicious, I had trouble restraining myself as I sampled from Edward's plate.

"Holy shit." My words were garbled through the peanut butter and chocolate flavors exploding in my mouth, but I couldn't bring myself to care. "Please tell me you know how to make this. And that you'll make it for me sometime if I am very, very nice to you."

"Oh, I've got a recipe," Edward replied, licking chocolate chiffon from his own fork. "I guess it all depends on how hard you're willing to work to get it."

I opened my mouth to tease him back, but kept silent when his posture stiffened. Turning my head, I followed Edward's gaze to the front of the restaurant where a woman stood, scanning the room. She was slender and graceful in appearance, and when she turned her head, my eyebrows shot up.

With one glance, it was obvious to me from whom Edward had inherited his looks. The resemblance between him and the woman I recognized as his mother was remarkable, from the shape of their faces, to the gleam of red in their hair, to their large, beautiful eyes.

The curiosity in Elizabeth's face vanished when spotted us, and her expression grew cool as she made her way over. The girls slid deeper into their side of the booth to make room for another seat, and I frowned when Edward put his fork down beside his plate.

"Hello, Elizabeth," he said when she stood at the end of the table, looking down at us. Edward's voice was polite but cool, and his face was strangely blank as he pulled the zip on his jacket closed, covering the _Grady & Garrett_ logo on his t-shirt.

Elizabeth's eyes moved over us all, missing nothing. Her glance lingered first on my face, then on her son's, before finally turning to the girls'.

"Hello, Edward. And welcome home, Tanya," she said, her brow furrowing as she looked at the plates and cups crowding the table. "It looks like you've been having a party here."

"Actually, we have, Mama," Tanya responded automatically while Irina simply tipped her head in greeting. "Lots of things to celebrate."

Elizabeth nodded before her gaze returned to mine. "You must be one of Tanya's friends," she said as she slid into the booth beside her daughter.

"I'm a friend of Edward's, actually," I clarified, smiling at her politely.

"This is Garrett Carr, Elizabeth," Edward replied. His face was expressionless when I glanced at him. "Garrett, this is Elizabeth Danielson, Tanya and Irina's mother."

A chill ran through me as Edward's words registered: not his mother, but the girls'. My stomach dropped further when Elizabeth didn't correct him, instead extending her hand across the table to me.

"Always nice to meet a friend of Edward's," she said mildly before glancing again at her son. "Of course, it's not very often that I get to do so. Edward's always been a very private person."

The air around the table was charged with tension. It took effort to continue smiling as I realized that Elizabeth seemed to have no idea who I was to her son. I knew that Edward rarely spoke about himself to his mother, and saw her infrequently and only for a few minutes at a time; his last visit to Rhode Island had been nearly six months before. Now, however, it was clear that Tanya and Irina also kept the details of Edward's personal life quiet.

"It's a pleasure to meet you, ma'am." I glanced at Edward, swallowing hard at the distance in his normally expressive face. His emotions were always mercurial when the topic of Elizabeth came up, but it had been a while since I'd seen him shut down completely. "I'm surprised to hear you describe Edward as reserved."

The corner of Elizabeth's mouth quirked up in a smile that was hauntingly familiar. "I suppose that is unfair, Mr. Carr, is it?"

"Garrett, please, ma'am."

"Then you must call me Elizabeth," she replied smoothly. "At any rate, I'm sure you're right; Edward's not nearly as aloof around other people. He reserves that kind of behavior for a select few. Isn't that right, Edward?"

"Could we not do this, please?" Edward's quiet voice was remote, as if he was speaking to a stranger rather than his own mother, and he was stiff and silent beside me.

Elizabeth regarded me with eyes that were bluer than her son's and not nearly as warm. "I don't know what you mean, Edward. Garrett and I are just talking. There's no need to be overly dramatic."

"Come on, Mama," Tanya murmured. "Ed and Garrett are driving back to Boston shortly. Why don't you have a little coffee and dessert with us until then?"

"Please tell me that you girls have not been eating all of this pie," Elizabeth said, gently nudging Tanya's plate with one finger.

"We've been _sharing_ all of this pie, Mama." A smile crossed Irina's face as she surveyed the plates before her. "You know, Edward's been raving about this place for so long, and I have no idea why I don't come in here more often."

Edward met his step-sister's gaze across the table, the expression in his eyes softening.

"You mentioned that there were things to celebrate," Elizabeth said, accepting a forkful of pecan pie from Tanya. She hummed thoughtfully as she chewed. "Is there something going on besides Irina's college admissions and Tanya coming back for the summer?"

A pregnant pause hovered over the table, stretching uncomfortably until Elizabeth's eyes began flicking among her children curiously. It was a solid minute before Edward licked his lips and looked dispassionately at the woman across the table.

"A manuscript of mine has been accepted for publication," he said, his fingers loose around his coffee mug.

Elizabeth was still for a moment before her eyebrows rose in understanding. "You're publishing a book?"

"Yes, ma'am. A novel, actually," Edward replied.

A smile ghosted across his mother's face, almost warming her eyes. "That's wonderful news, Edward. Something to celebrate, indeed."

Edward offered only a small smile as he murmured his thanks. I ran my fingers lightly against his thigh, letting the pads of my fingers brush against his jeans in support and comfort. The tension around the table lessened as he spoke quietly about the pre-publication schedule and seemed to slowly relax. I couldn't help smiling when his warm hand covered mine under the table.

"Are you allowed to share the plot of the novel, Edward?" Elizabeth asked as she cut another small piece of pie with her fork. "Or is that a secret, too?"

Edward's entire demeanor shifted as his mother spoke, and the wariness that returned to his face made my chest ache. "I can share a summary. It's about a young man living and working in an East Coast city. He's figuring out who he is and where he's going, that kind of thing. "

"Sounds like someone we know, maybe?" Irina giggled when Edward's ears turned pink.

"The protagonist may have a few things in common with me, yes," he allowed, wrinkling his nose when I chuckled softly. "But he's definitely fictional."

"He said it was a novel, Irina, not a memoir," Elizabeth said. "I sincerely doubt that Edward wants people reading about the time he fell down the stairs at the house in Jamaica Plain or his prescription for Xanax."

The almost casual cruelty of Elizabeth's words was still sinking in when Edward squeezed my hand so hard that my knuckles crunched. I managed not to flinch, but my stomach sank when I looked at him and saw the color draining from his face.

"Edward," I murmured.

Anger surged through me when he met my gaze and pain flashed in his eyes. Elizabeth and Irina were blithely discussing books, while only Tanya seemed aware of Edward's turmoil. She looked both sad and helpless as she watched us, and her continued silence pushed me to act.

"We should be getting back," I said, smiling politely when Elizabeth glanced at us in surprise. "It's getting late, and Edward and I have to work tomorrow morning."

Elizabeth's brow wrinkled in confusion. "Since when do you work in the morning Edward? Did you get a new job?"

"I made a switch at Masen's; I work days now." Edward slid out of the booth after me, seeming calmer with a clear exit strategy in place.

"Oh, that's a pity; I was hoping you'd found something more worthwhile than working in that bar." Elizabeth's lips pursed delicately in distaste as she followed us toward the front of the restaurant. "Maybe now that you're having some success with your writing, you'll find someone who will stick with you—"

"I need to get my bags out of the trunk," Tanya cut in, grinning sweetly when her mother looked disapproving.

"Garrett has the car keys," Edward replied, holding up the bill as he turned to me. "I'll just pay the check ...?"

"And we'll meet you outside," I finished when he trailed off. Warmth spread through me when Edward smiled, and he looked almost like himself for the first time since his mother had walked into the diner.

ooOOoo

Edward said little during the ride back to Boston. I watched him from the corner of my eye as I drove, wanting to desperately to ask him about what had happened back in the diner. I couldn't wrap my head around the chill between Elizabeth and him, and the almost clinical way they treated each other. The tired slump of his shoulders and the nervous way he ran his hands through his hair stopped me, though; the last thing I wanted was to compound his stress.

It wasn't until we were back in the apartment that I felt Edward's eyes on me. I turned to find him standing still in the entryway, and my chest ached at the hesitation in his face.

I stepped forward to stand by his side, taking one of his hands when his ears and cheeks flushed red.

"I'm sorry about tonight," he said quietly. "I'd have suggested we leave if I'd known she was coming."

Leaning forward, I pressed a soft kiss to his cheek, noticing then that he seemed shaky with nerves. "Sweetheart, don't apologize for her."

Edward raised his arms to draw me against him, and we held each other tightly for a long moment. He seemed calmer when I pulled back to look at him, though his eyes were tired and sad, as they always were when he spent time around Elizabeth. Leaning forward, I pressed my forehead to his, smiling when he rocked us slowly back and forth in a gentle dance.

"Want to talk about it?" I wasn't surprised when he shook his head no, but I felt some disappointment; I'd hoped he'd open up without my having to pry too hard.

"I'm so fucking tired, Gar; I just want to go to bed," he said, before his brow puckered. "Are you okay with that?"

"Of course I am. If you change your mind, you know where I'll be; trying not to fall off the edge of the bed while you hog the whole goddamned thing."

Edward chuckled tiredly as we walked toward the bedroom. The fatigue showed in his face as we got ready for bed, and by the time I turned out the lights, he had buried himself under the blankets like an overgrown puppy. He wrapped himself around me when I climbed into the bed, murmuring sweetly before he fell asleep with his cheek pressed against my shoulder.

I laid awake a while longer, troubled by the complicated relationship Edward had with his birth mother. More than once, Edward had confessed to me that he wanted to cut ties with Elizabeth for good, but his relationships with Tanya and Irina always held him back. I knew, too, that he didn't want to disappoint his father and Esme, who continued to encourage him to rebuild the relationship. What I had seen earlier that evening, however, made me sympathize with Edward's desire to end things.

ooOOoo

I woke with a jolt, blinking into the darkened room for a moment before the mattress jerked underneath me and I heard a low grunt. Immediately, I reached out, my hands meeting an empty space where Edward should have been. I could hear him, though, his breaths a little too rapid for someone who had just been sleeping.

"Ed?" I murmured, and moved my hands down the bed until I found him, sitting up with the blankets pooled around his waist. "You okay?"

He didn't answer at first and I frowned when I realized his skin was slick with sweat. When he did speak, his voice was hoarse. "I'm okay."

I sat up, scooting closer to him on the bed and reaching out to stroke his hair. My stomach knotted with worry when I realized that his hair was damp with perspiration.

"Jesus, Ed. Are you sick? Hang on; let me get the light." I twisted to reach for the nightstand and jumped with surprise when Edward stopped me with a hand firm on my wrist.

"No, its okay," he said, "I had a weird dream, that's all. I'm sorry I woke you up."

"Don't worry about it." I rolled away, leaning over to grope among the clothes we'd left on the foot of the bed until I found a t-shirt. Sitting back, I fumbled, pressing the shirt into Edward's hands though I could hardly see him.

"Thank you," he said softly.

I felt Edward moving beside me, drying his skin with the shirt while I tried to decide whether to push him to tell me about his dream. He surprised me by speaking first and even more so with what he had to say.

"I was never prescribed Xanax."

I blinked, thrown by his words. "Okay. So when Elizabeth said—"

"She was exaggerating," he said, his voice bitter. "I had some anxiety issues when I was a kid ... they made it hard to sleep and I was always afraid I'd have a meltdown in public. My doctor prescribed the Xanax so that I'd have something in case I had a real panic attack. I never had to take them, though."

I reached out to slide my arm around him, my throat aching when I felt the muscles under his skin coiled with tension. "It wouldn't bother me if you had taken Xanax then, Edward. It wouldn't bother me if you were taking them now." I rubbed warming circles into his skin until he began to relax.

"I know. I wanted you to know the truth, though."

I shifted closer to Edward when he paused, pressing my chin to his shoulder when he leaned into me. "There's more?"

Edward sighed, and I felt him nod against my head. "The anxiety started when I was eleven. After I fell down the stairs at Elizabeth's house in JP."

Turning, I dropped my arm from Edward's shoulders to his waist, and felt around in the dark until I found his right hand, drawing him close as he spoke.

"I ... I had a concussion, so there are big holes in my memory of that day. Tanya and Irina have told me a few things, but it's still foggy in a lot of places.

"There was a big staircase at the front of their house, and Elizabeth's husband was always scolding us for running up and down the steps, or leaving their things underfoot. Elizabeth and Tanya were out shopping, but Irina and I stayed home. We were playing upstairs ... some game, I'm not sure. We were called for lunch ... and the next thing that makes any kind of sense is a memory of sitting on the front porch. My head hurt and I was all banged up."

"You don't know what happened?" I asked.

"Not really. Irina says that I tripped over something on the stairs and went down. She thought I was joking until I had a hard time getting up. She went to find her dad and ... I remember seeing Elizabeth's car pull into the driveway."

For a long moment, I tried to puzzle out Edward's words, reminding myself that his own memories were incomplete. "I'm sorry; I don't understand," I apologized finally, pausing to drop a kiss on his shoulder.

"Harry called Elizabeth to take me to the ER. He put me on the porch until she could come and get me."

I tried to control the soft gasp that left my lips, but knew Edward heard me when he flinched slightly. "He made you wait outside of the house? While you were injured? What the fuck is that?"

"I told you; the guy's never liked me," Edward said, striving to keep his voice light. "I'm just lucky he called Elizabeth at all."

"No, Edward," I said, my voice low and furious. "Don't you dare joke about that. The very least he could have done was keep you company while you waited. You were just a kid!"

"I know, I know. He's just—"

"Just an asshole." I waited, my heart pounding when Edward held very still. I realized after a few seconds that he was holding his breath and wished desperately that I could see his face. All my anger drained away. I squeezed his hand, running my thumb over his knuckles, hoping to soothe him. "He's an asshole, Edward," I said quietly. "Don't ever let anyone tell you differently."

"Yeah," he murmured finally, his voice sad. He leaned against me, tucking his head under my chin while I rubbed his back. "I know."

Carefully, I eased myself back, drawing Edward with me until we were lying together. "What happened after Elizabeth came to get you? She took you to the hospital?"

"Yes. After they admitted me, she must have taken Tanya home. I ... I guess I asked the nurse to call Carlisle and Esme." He paused, and shifted to wind his legs around mine. "The idea of staying in JP made me nervous, you know?"

I nodded, pressing my lips against Edward's hair as he continued speaking. "Esme came to stay with me while Carlisle talked to Elizabeth. I was discharged the next day. Elizabeth and her family moved to Providence six months later and that was that. I never stayed with them again."

We were quiet for a time, curled together under the blankets while Edward's words hung in the air. My stomach churned and my eyes burned as an awful, helpless feeling rolled through me. I forced myself to stay silent, though I wanted to insist that he sever ties with Elizabeth, and even Tanya and Irina. I knew nothing good could come from those words.

"I hate that you're hurting, love," I said at last.

"I'm okay, Gar," Edward replied, sounding much quieter. "It's getting really late. You're going to be a mess at work tomorrow unless you get some sleep."

"A little sleep deprivation isn't going to kill me," I began then laughed when Edward picked up his head to cover my lips with a gentle kiss.

He pulled back far enough to speak. "It's almost three in the morning, Garrett. Be a good boy; shut up and go to sleep."

The warmth I felt in that moment dimmed considerably when I woke up alone in bed a few hours later.

ooOOoo

Though he said nothing, it was obvious to me that Edward had a difficult time over the next few days. He was distracted and out of sorts. He slept poorly, and his dreams woke him every night. Wary of waking me too, he stayed up late writing, stealing a few hours of sleep on the couch only after his body finally crashed.

Edward's struggle affected me, too. I had the bed to myself, but his absence woke me often. I fretted when he drooped with fatigue, and over his bleary eyes and listlessness. It was as if the light in him had grown dim, and I hurt for him as he tried to hide the sadness he was feeling.

A few days after the Providence trip, I let myself into the apartment, calling out for Edward as I carefully laid the packing box and bags I'd been carrying by the door. I found him folding laundry in the bedroom and swallowed hard when his smile didn't meet his eyes.

"Hey, handsome. Got a minute?" I asked, trying to keep my voice light.

Edward shrugged as he continued folding, his long fingers moving without thought. "Sure. What's up?"

"I may have done something ... foolish," I began, walking toward the bed and stopping at his side.

"What happened?" Edward's smile became concern. "Is everything okay?"

"Yes." I took his hand in mine and smiled sheepishly. "At least I think so. I just hope you agree."

Edward's eyes narrowed in suspicion. "What am I agreeing to? What did you do?"

"I might have adopted ... a dog," I said haltingly, my nerves increasing, as Edward's eyes grew larger with each word.

"Um ... did you say a dog?"

"A Corgi, actually. His name is Linus. My co-worker couldn't keep him and I thought that maybe ... we could take him in. Or find him a home if you don't like him."

Edward gaped at me for a long moment before he dropped the shirt he had been folding onto the bed.

"Where is it? Or ... he, rather?"

Before I could reply, a bark echoed through the apartment, making Edward's eyes widen even more.

"Shit, you weren't kidding!" he said, and the smile that slowly dawned on his face made me laugh.

I grabbed his hand, dragging him toward the door excitedly. "Come on, you have to check this out."

Ten minutes later, Edward was sitting on the floor in our kitchen with the black and tan dog at his side. Edward and Linus took to one another instantly, and I found myself grinning when they looked up at me together.

"So that's how it's gonna be, huh, dog?" I asked, squatting down on Edward's other side. "Two against one isn't very fair."

Edward smiled and tugged me down onto the floor beside him. "No fighting, you two," he said. He leaned to run his nose against my cheek, making my stomach warm.

"Fine," I grumbled playfully. The dog clambered onto Edward's lap, head-butting my hand in a bid to be petted, gazing at me with big, brown eyes that were impossible to ignore. "I'll be good if Linus does the same."

Edward chuckled softly as I scratched behind Linus's ears, and his voice was a quiet rumble when he spoke. "Thanks for this, baby."

"It's nice to see you smile." I leaned back to look at him, searching his face for any signs of unease. "You're really okay with this?"

"I'm okay."

"It's all right if you change your mind, you know. Dogs are a lot of work, and they need tons of attention. And walks."

"We'll hire a dog walker." Edward smiled, one hand threading through Linus's fur while the other cupped my cheek. "We'll work it out. I'm good."

ooOOoo

By the end of the week, both Edward and I were overtired and looking forward to a day off. Edward was still having trouble sleeping, but I felt a little better knowing that Linus was keeping him company during his late nights. The dog curled up near Edward's feet while he wrote, and I couldn't help smiling when I found them crashed out together on the couch in the mornings.

On Friday night, I went to Masen's after the shift change. Liam and Seth were already there, chatting with Edward, Jasper, and Matheus over beers. Malice and Bree greeted me warmly, but Bella was more distant, flashing a quick smile and wave before she settled on the other side of the room.

Seth leaned close, catching Edward's eye and nodding toward the far end of the bar. "Is she still pissed at you?"

"She's not pissed," Jasper said with a shrug. "She's disappointed. It's not every day that she asks a guy to be her baby daddy."

Edward's nose wrinkled in distaste. "Gross. I hate that expression."

"I don't understand why she's still angry now, though." I rubbed Edward's knee with my hand. Bella's reluctance to patch up their friendship bothered him far more than he let on to anyone other than me. "You told them no nearly three months ago."

"Besides, they've got me," Jasper said, jerking a thumb at himself. "That means that they won't have to deal with another red-headed geek like Ed. They should be celebrating!"

"You are an almighty asshole." Edward raised his pint glass and toasted Jasper and then us all. "I love you, man."

Liam raised his eyebrows at Jasper. "How many beers has he had?"

"Three, I think," Jasper replied before Edward held out his glass for a refill.

"Oh, Jesus," Liam said, rolling his eyes when Edward smirked at him. "We'll never make it to the theater at this rate; he'll sleep through the whole film! What the fuck is wrong with you, Edward?"

"I have an empty glass, that's what the fuck is wrong with me—"

"Okay, easy does it, Captain Shitfaced," I said, biting my lip when everyone laughed and Edward pouted. "Why don't we skip the theater and just go back to our place for some pizza and a movie?"

"Can we order some porn?" Liam asked, unperturbed when Seth choked on his beer. "Or better yet make some?"

"It's always about nudity with you," Jasper said, handing Seth a napkin to wipe the beer from his face.

Liam assumed a look of disgust that made me snort with laughter. "Of course it's always about nudity. Come on, Jasper! If I have to miss dinner and a movie out, I should be recompensed with as much nakedness as possible."

"You're such a slut," Seth told Liam fondly, tossing the sodden napkin onto the bar before turning his attention back to Edward. "Since when don't you want kids, Ed? You've always struck me as a nuclear-family kind of guy."

Edward shook his head emphatically. "I never said I didn't want to have kids. I said didn't want to have them with Bella and Mal. And why the hell would they want my fucked up genes anyway? Jas is the better choice, we all know it."

"You don't really believe that, do you?" I asked with a frown.

"Ehh. Depends on the day," Edward replied lightly, though his smile was touched by melancholy.

"Jesus, Edward, don't be such a drama queen." Liam arched an eyebrow when Edward looked aggrieved. "You know perfectly well that Seth is way more fucked up. He teaches Philosophy to Classics majors, for fuck's sake."

Even Edward smiled when Seth rolled his eyes and threw a handful of cocktail pretzels at their friend.

ooOOoo

I was surprised when Edward switched his drinks to water after we got home. We spent the evening with Liam and Seth, gorging on pizza and watching _The Avengers_ while we played with Linus.

By the time Liam and Seth left in a cab and I had walked the dog, Edward was sober and looked completely wiped out. My heart jumped when he followed me to the bedroom instead of pulling out his tablet to write.

"You sleeping in here tonight?" I asked as I stood by my side of the bed. The wistful note in my voice made me cringe, but I couldn't seem to stop myself; I'd missed Edward's body against mine too much to play coy.

He came to stand beside me, his hands rising to cup my face. His voice was hoarse when he spoke. "Yes, please."

"Good." I slid my arms around Edward's waist, leaning forward to kiss him softly. His mouth opened against mine and heat rushed through me when his tongue slid between my lips.

"Ed," I said on the tail end of a gasp when he pulled back. It felt like it had been so long since I had really touched him or been touched, and the one kiss made me shaky with desire.

"I missed you," Edward murmured, pressing kisses against my jaw.

"I missed you, too." I tightened my hold around him, feeling giddy as his hands moved over me.

Edward pressed his face to my neck, his breaths warming my skin. "Baby. You smell so good."

The sound of his voice made my cock hard. I closed my eyes, sliding my hands up under his _Dumpling Man_ t-shirt and dipping my head to kiss him when he shivered. There was a mad scramble of arms and legs as we struggled out of our clothes, and I groaned eagerly when Edward fell backwards onto the bed, pulling me down on top of him.

Edward's eyes were glazed and his cheeks flushed red when I broke away to look at him. I slid my hand down his body, letting my fingers drag over the warm skin of his chest and stomach before I reached for his cock. His head pressed back into the pillow when my fingers curled around him, and he locked his arms around me. I froze when his eyes grew bright, and my heart squeezed at the raw expression on his face.

"I'm sorry about this week," he whispered, tension rolling through his body. "I just get so fucking caught up in my head ..."

I kissed him gently when he trailed off. "It's okay."

"It's _not_ okay."

"Baby." Edward's face twisted at the endearment, his hold on me tightening almost to the point of pain. "It's okay. I'm here."

He nodded and let out a long, shaky breath as I started stroking him again, keeping my movements slow and almost teasing. The tension in his face and body slowly drained away as his cock hardened, and he let out a low groan when I moved my fingers to his balls.

"Grab the stuff?" Edward asked breathlessly before pulling me in for a searing kiss. His words and lips scrambled my brain and I ground against his hip thoughtlessly, making him moan into my mouth.

Long moments later, I pulled away with a gasp, pushing myself up to reach for the nightstand drawer. Edward's hands and lips were everywhere, teasing me as I moved and making me grunt and laugh. He lay back when I turned to him with the condom and lube, his expression filled with affection and desire, and I shuddered when his fingers encircled my dick.

"Jesus Christ.". I rolled my eyes when Edward chuckled, thrusting the supplies at him impatiently. "Quit trying to kill me already."

I was puzzled when Edward's eyes flicked to my hand and he licked his lips nervously. Slowly, he took them from me, popping the cap on the lube. His ears and cheeks reddened as he tore open the condom wrapper, and I frowned when I realized he was averting his eyes.

"Edward." The words on my tongue died when he reached for me. Stunned mute, I watched him spread lube over my cock, my gut cramping with longing as he worked on the condom.

My heart was thundering almost painfully when Edward finally looked at me. Neither of us had ever been shy about sex. We enjoyed trying new things and took pleasure in learning each other's desires. Switching was one place we'd never gone, though; we'd never wanted to. We were happy with the way things worked between us, and had never felt any need for a change. Until now.

I held my breath at the emotions flashing in Edward's eyes: desire, love, even trepidation. His hands were steady when he handed me the lube, though, and the smile he gave me was certain. Still, I needed to hear him say it.

"You're sure?"

He nodded, the fear in his eyes fading. "I'm sure. I need you, Garrett."

"You have me," I assured him, gathering him in my arms to kiss him.

We were both breathing hard when I pulled back again, and Edward's hand crept up to smooth the hair away from my forehead as I slicked my hands. I ran teasing fingers along the cleft of his ass, and his knees fell open wider when I slid a finger inside him. My cock twitched when his eyes fluttered shut and he gave a low groan.

"Oh, fuck."

I worked my finger inside him, moving slowly and steadily while stroking his dick with the other hand. He was moaning steadily when I added another finger, and I leaned to kiss him when he hissed at the stretch. Edward's hands rose to rest on either side of my neck, keeping me close. He gasped when I curled my fingers inside him, and there was fire in his eyes when two became three.

"Love you," he murmured when I shifted so that I could crawl over him.

I bent to kiss him, warmth filling my chest when he wound his arms around my neck. Nudging his right hip, I helped roll his knee to the left while we whispered to each other, our lips brushing. I took myself in hand, pushing forward slowly, grunting at the sensation of tight heat wrapping around me. Edward froze for a moment and then let out a long breath, his body relaxing against mine as we spooned.

"Jesus," he muttered. A flush spread across his chest and he rolled to the left and onto his stomach, tucking his arms under the pillow, burying his face as I settled over him.

Bending forward, I wrapped an arm around his shoulders and the other around his waist, pressing our bodies together. I rocked forward, sinking deeper inside him with a groan. Desire rattled down my spine, making my cock ache when Edward called my name, his voice trembling. His right arm moved, coming out from under the pillow, and his fingers stretched wide, seeking mine. Reaching forward, I wound our fingers together tightly and bore down, pressing Edward into the mattress as we rocked together. Edward's other hand snaked down his body, and he moaned when he took himself in hand and bucked back against my thrusts.

"Oh, _God_ ," he croaked, his body shuddering. "Garrett."

"I know, baby," I told him.

I murmured in his ear, telling him how much I loved him, how good he felt around me, all the while pushing back the orgasm coiling in my belly while a familiar ache spread in my balls. We moved faster and harder, grunting with each thrust while Edward held my hand and pumped himself.

His body went rigid when he came, and he let out a choked cry. His ass pulsed around me, pulling my orgasm out of my bones as the room whirled around me and I crashed.

It was a while before either of us moved. We lay wrapped together instead, ignoring the sticky sheets, while we caught our breaths, and Edward hummed at the kisses I pressed against his shoulders and neck. He grumbled playfully when I finally pulled away, holding my hand until the very last moment, and rolled onto his back while I went to the bathroom for some towels.

I cleaned the come and lube from his skin, watching him carefully, and smiled when I realized that his face was free of shadows for the first time in almost a week. "How do you feel?"

"Better. Thanks, Gar," he said quietly, and I knew he meant for more than bringing a towel to cover the wet spot on the bed.

"Anytime," I said, blushing when Edward laughed softly before I turned toward the bathroom. "You can take that however you want."

"You know I will."

I tossed the washcloth into the laundry bag and glanced at the dog bed in the corner, scratching my head when I found it empty. A moment later I recognized a little shape curled at the foot of the bed, and laughed, unsurprised that Linus had found a way to be near his favorite human.

"We have company," I said as I slid under the sheets. "He was probably watching us."

The corner of Edward's mouth quirked up sleepily and he burrowed closer against me when I reached to turn off the bedside lamp. "Figures. Leave it to you to adopt a dog as perverted as you are."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My babies. I'm glad Edward got himself through that with a little help from his friends. Including a furry one! We're coming to the end of this little story; I'm thinking there will be two more chapters.
> 
> As you're probably aware, Boston and its people have been through a lot in this last week. To say I'm relieved things should go back to "normal" now is an understatement! Remember to be good to each other friends, and let the people in your lives know that you love them.
> 
> I wrote a sweet love story, The Beach House, for the Happily Ever After Twific Contest. Link on my profile.
> 
> Discordia and I teamed up for an entry in the LDA contest ... hehe. http://letsdoanal.blogspot.com/
> 
> Notes: I made up the Airstream Diner in Providence, RI. The pie sure sounds good.
> 
> Grady & Garrett is a reference to the Cut & Run book series by Abigail Roux. They are life ruiners. I love them.
> 
> Jamaica Plain, or JP, is a neighborhood in southwest Boston.
> 
> Dumpling Man is a restaurant in New York City that serves northern Asian style dumplings. They're ridiculously delicious.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had a plan. My plan was for ten chapters, which is a nice, even number that appeals to my Virgo personality. Edward and Garrett, however, don't care about my plan - they have their own plan. So this will be the final chapter of All Over Again.
> 
> Thank you to my lovely beta, Discordia81; she makes my docs better. Megz ... I didn't tinker :)
> 
> Note: This is a slash story. This chapter also comes with a warning for sweetness in the extreme.

"Hey, beautiful." Edward's eyes met mine in the mirror as he walked up behind me. He rested his chin on my shoulder and wound his arms around me in a hug before reaching to straighten my tie. "Ready to go?"

"Whenever you are." I turned in his arms and bit my lip as I got a good look at him. "Wow."

The cut of Edward's grey and white seersucker suit highlighted his strong shoulders and slim waist beautifully. He wore an open collared white dress shirt underneath the jacket, and a silk handkerchief with a vibrant red print in his breast pocket.

"Ed ... Jesus, you look unbelievable."

He looked pleased even as his cheeks colored slightly, and stepped back to glance down at himself and then back at me. We had chosen my stone-colored cotton suit and blue dress shirt together, and Edward had surprised me that morning with a gift of a beautiful vintage silk tie and pocket square.

He smiled, running his fingers against my waist and humming appreciatively. "I had to step up my game a little to keep up with you."

"Sweetheart, you're doing more than keeping up with me, trust me."

"I'm glad you approve."

"You know I do," I murmured, stepping forward to run my fingers over his lapels and grinning when I glanced down at his feet. "Edward ... you're wearing white bucks. You're like a walking porno right now."

"Oh, my God, Garrett. Are you drunk?"

"It's three-thirty in the afternoon! Besides, if I were drunk, that suit of yours would be decorating the floor right now."

Edward rolled his eyes and reached out, pulling me in for a kiss to shut me up. My body responded at once, desire curling in my belly as his tongue teased my lips. We were careful not to let things get too heated, mindful of each other's clothes and that we didn't have much time before we had to leave the apartment.

Finally, Edward pressed his forehead against mine with a sigh while I slid my hand down to rest on his waist.

"We should go," he murmured.

I stifled a groan when he checked his watch. "I know … I was hoping you'd forget and we could maybe take some of these gorgeous clothes of yours off." I gave him another squeeze when he laughed.

"Not likely, baby. You know it's only a matter of time before the text messages start; there's no way we can be late."

"I know." Pulling back slightly, I got a good look at his green eyes. "Are you nervous?"

Edward shook his head and used one hand to push the hair off my forehead. "Not at all," he said before kissing me sweetly. "Grab your keys and I'll meet you outside; I'll just check the dog's water bowl and grab the rings."

ooOOoo

I tried to persuade Edward to walk downtown, balking even as he led me into the train station and reasoned that we simply didn't have time to spare.

"We have an hour and a half before we need to be anywhere, Edward," I protested, grumbling under my breath as we pulled out our CharlieCards.

"Yes, exactly," he replied, "ninety minutes before the ceremony is scheduled to start, Garrett, and you know there are things to do beforehand. We'd have to haul ass at this point if we walked. Plus, it's eighty degrees out here. I don't know about you, baby, but I'm not in the mood to work up a sweat in these suits."

Realizing he was right, I frowned and tugged him back before we reached the turnstiles. "Should we take a cab?"

Edward turned to face me, grasping my forearm with one hand. "We'll be fine on the train, baby; it's only four stops." His forehead puckered as he watched me and understanding filtered through his expression. "Are you okay? If the train tunnels bother you, we can grab a taxi—"

"No, it's okay," I said quickly. "Really, I'm fine; I was just overthinking things, as usual."

Edward stayed silent for a moment longer. He gave me a searching look, and I nodded, hoping to reassure him enough that he would drop the subject. Finally, he winked and turned back to the turnstiles while I followed, swallowing against the discomfort that began to well up.

My troubles with the subway tunnels had begun nearly two months before, after the city had been rocked by terrorist bombings on Patriots' Day. I was in the firm's Manhattan office that Monday, and watched the footage online, aware that Edward was scheduled to work and that Masen's was only blocks from the blast scene.

For four hours, I tried repeatedly to reach him, my stomach twisting with fear every time the call went to his voicemail. While the cellular towers in that section of Boston were shut down and the area turned into a blocks-long crime scene, Masen's and other businesses opened their doors to stranded tourists and runners, passing out food and drink and allowing the use of landlines and restrooms. By the time Edward was able to get away from the bar and walk several blocks to find a cell signal, my fear had become belligerence. I argued with him instead of listening to why he'd been unreachable and when his obvious exhaustion and remorse finally registered, I was shaken. I managed to get a flight back to Boston late that evening, but it wasn't until I was back in the apartment with Edward wrapped up in a tight hug that I felt able to really breathe again.

A few days later, we woke to find that the police had shut down the city to conduct a manhunt for the bombing suspects. Hunkered down indoors that day, we played with Linus and talked with neighbors, friends, and family while we watched the news and struggled to process what was happening. We celebrated with the neighborhood that evening when the police made an arrest, and then stayed up late making love, unable to get enough of each other.

Edward and I were lucky. Our friends and family were unharmed, and our lives went back to our brand of normal very quickly. The relationships and bonds among our circles of friends changed, growing stronger and closer. Seth and Liam surprised no one by admitting that they had feelings for one another. The awkwardness that had been dogging Bella and Edward's friendship finally faded. Liam assisted Edward with the first round of edits to his novel, and Edward turned his apartment over to Liam on June first and never looked back.

I was surprised, however, when I realized that I still felt strangely out of sorts weeks after the bombings. Though I'd never suffered from claustrophobia before, I felt unnerved by the subway tunnels and crush of commuters, and found myself skittish around large crowds. Edward became concerned when I began avoiding the subway, but I resisted talking about my anxieties, insisting instead that my nerves would settle with time.

Now, as we walked underground to catch the Green Line and my chest grew tighter with each step, I regretted being so stubborn. We waited quietly on the platform, Edward's warm hand in mine while I studied my wingtips and concentrated on taking slow, even breaths.

"We should have brought Linus."

Edward's droll tone made me smile. "Why didn't you?" I asked, my eyes still trained on my shoes.

"My mama told me she'd kick my ass if I did," he replied, shifting to rest his chin against my shoulder.

Closing my eyes, I tilted my head to touch my temple to Edward's. Those simple touches and his low voice slowly loosened the knot in my middle. "Is that true?"

"Yep. She doesn't think dogs have any place at weddings." He titled his head to drop a soft kiss against my shoulder while I chewed my lip.

"You think I should talk to someone about this thing with the subway tunnels," I stated rather than asked.

Edward paused before answering, but I heard the genuine caring in his voice when he did. "You're hurting, baby, and I hate to see it. If you think talking to someone will make you feel better, then yes, I do, but if you want to start by just talking to me about it, that's fine, too." His fingers squeezed mine gently, and his voice deepened when he continued. "You've helped me figure out how to deal with Elizabeth and her family; maybe I can help you with this, too."

I nodded, drawing a deep breath that calmed me further. "Okay. I can talk. Not today though."

"Agreed." Edward straightened as the squeal of an approaching train echoed through the tunnel to our right. He smiled at me when I opened my eyes, and gave my fingers an extra squeeze. "Today we have fun. By the way, Mama said she'd swing by our place tonight, and make sure Linus is fed and walked, so we can stay out late."

"Esme's such a good doggy grandma," I teased, and then laughed when Edward rolled his eyes and pulled me toward the open train doors.

"Don't let her hear you say that," he scolded, though his eyes gleamed with amusement. "You know she'll end up buying a _My Grandchild Is a Dog_ t-shirt." He shook his finger when I laughed harder. "She'll make my dad wear one, Garrett, I'm telling you!"

ooOOoo

My nervousness faded once we were above ground again and making our way into the Public Garden. The park's flowerbeds and trees were in full bloom, and the pathways filled with tourists and residents alike. I noticed many admiring glances cast Edward's way, though he was oblivious as always to the attention; other than keeping a lookout for the rest of our party, he seemed only to have eyes for me. His smile was warm, but I detected lingering concern in his expression, and my stomach fell when I realized that my earlier anxiety had become a distraction.

"Edward, Garrett!" a voice called from a knot of people gathered by the lagoon. I caught sight of Jasper and Alec with Edward's parents before Bella's brother, Emmett, took a few steps forward and waved, a wide smile on his handsome face.

Edward raised his free hand in greeting, but turned to look at me when I slowed my steps, his mouth pulling down slightly. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing," I said quickly, "I just want one second while I have you alone and before we go over there."

"Okay," Edward said easily, his face relaxing when I smiled at him.

I took both of his hands in mine. "I'm glad we're here today. I'm excited to have a good time with you and our friends." The soft smile that warmed Edward's face made my heart thump. "Thanks for bringing me."

"No one else I'd rather bring, baby." Edward's expression became more serious, though his eyes grew even brighter as they moved over my face. "Thanks for being here with me, Garrett."

"Where else would I be?" I asked, and then jumped when a shrill whistle echoed through the air.

"Get a room you two!" Jasper hollered. "On second thought, no, get your asses over here; the brides are getting anxious!"

With a loud snort, Edward slid his arm around my waist and we walked to meet our friends and the rest of the Brandon-Swan wedding party.

ooOOoo

Malice and Bella's wedding was perfect for them in every way. Malice's white cocktail dress set off her elfin prettiness, while the deep iris that Bella wore complimented her fair skin and dark hair. There were forty of us gathered by the lagoon that afternoon while the Swan Boats drifted by at regular intervals, filled with tourist and sightseers. It was a loose and casual affair, almost rambling, and deeply intimate. Emmett and Edward stood up for the brides, and Bella's father walked them both down the aisle. Malice forgot some of her vows, and then blushed as everyone laughed, while Bella tried not to roll her eyes when Edward produced the rings and Mrs. Swan burst into noisy tears.

I stood with Carlisle and Esme during the ceremony, my eyes on Edward much of the time despite the pair of pretty girls that we were there to celebrate. I drank in his reactions and the happiness he radiated as our friends exchanged their vows, and smiled when Esme slipped her hand into the crook of my elbow.

"I don't think I've ever seen Edward look happier than he does these days," she murmured. "Thank you for that, Garrett."

"What do you mean?" I asked softly, noting that Carlisle was smiling serenely too, though his eyes were trained on the bridal party.

"You make him happy," Esme replied simply. "Edward has always been a blithe and loving soul; it's one of the things that people like most about him. But he's different now. He seems ... content. And that's due to you, I think."

I glanced toward Edward at that moment, and my breath hitched when he caught my eye and sent an absolutely beautiful smile across the space between us.

"He does the same for me," I told Esme, my voice hoarse. "He's changed my life in so many ways; it's hard to remember what it was like before I knew him."

We fell silent again while Bella and Alice exchanged their first kiss as a married couple, but my mind whirled with Esme's words and my body buzzed with the aftereffects of Edward's smile. I had known for a long time that I wanted to spend my future with him. Some of the ghosts from my past continued to haunt me, though, causing me to doubt myself. I hated the idea of ever hurting Edward, but even more, I hated the idea of disappointing him. I'd seen the devastation in Kate's eyes when I'd told her I couldn't be with her; the last thing I wanted was to see anything like that in Edward's eyes.

Those doubts peeled away as I watched Edward that afternoon. As applause for Bella and Alice's union rang out around me, I knew at last that—if Edward let me—I would give him forever, starting that very moment.

ooOOoo

Following the ceremony and photographs, the party walked four blocks to Joe's American Bar & Grill on Newbury Street, where Emmett had reserved the Wine Room for cocktails and a light dinner menu.

"Are you guys doing anything special for Edward's birthday?" Jasper asked.

"We are not," Edward answered for me as he set a round of drinks on the table. He grinned toothily when I glared at him and slid into the seat next to mine. "You know I don't like to make a big deal about my birthday, Jas."

"We're having dinner with Edward's parents on Sunday night—thank you for taking his shift by the way, Jas. Otherwise, and at Edward's request, we're not doing anything in particular for the entire weekend." Alec's snort made me smile.

"Where the hell is the fun in that?" he asked.

Edward held his hands up as if in defense. "Hey, Gar and I have been working like idiots for weeks, and the edits for my book are with my editor right now; I _want_ some time off to sit on my ass and do nothing." He sipped his beer, his face taking on a dreamy expression. "We could sleep. Or have a Scrabble tournament. Or go to the beach and get some fried clams. Oh my God, I could _read a book_."

A horrified expression crossed Alec's face, making Jasper laugh while I choked on my lobster ravioli. Alec loved making the special occasions of his life memorable; the idea of spending a birthday doing nothing but the mundane was completely alien to him.

Edward thumped me on the back with one hand while pointing across the table at our friend. "Quit it with the faces, you. Why can't I chill out for a couple of days? I'm may be a lame ass—"

"No argument there, Ed," Jasper teased, chuckling when Edward carried on as though no one had spoken.

"—but you try working six days a week and then writing into the wee hours every night. Garrett worked over sixty hours last week alone! Swap places with us, Alec, and see if you don't get a hard on at the mention of some time off."

"Ah, excellent, the penis talk has begun already," Matheus said as he sat on Edward's other side with a plate of crab cakes and a drink.

"We're talking about Edward's birthday," Jasper clarified when Malice and Bella pulled up to the table too.

"Actually _some_ of us were talking about Edward's birthday; Edward was ranting." Alec shrugged when Edward narrowed his eyes. "Dude, you were! I could see the whites of your eyes and you were waving your arms around like a Muppet."

"He'll say anything to get out of talking birthdays," Matheus said before batting Edward's stealthy fork away from his plate. "I don't know why you're so funny about celebrating the day Ed; it's one day out of a year. Seems a shame to hide out when people want to spend it with you, no?"

His cheeks colored when Edward abruptly smirked. "Depends on the birthday, Mats. Last year's didn't go well as you know; it's kind of a mood killer when you find out that your boyfriend ditched you for another dude. At your own party."

"I apologized," Matheus muttered, as a chorus of groans and laughs broke out around the table. "It's not as if you didn't know I was whorebag, Edward."

"Yeah, I knew you were a whorebag because you told me the first day we worked behind the bar together, Mats. Still makes for awkward birthday conversations."

Edward winked to let me know he was joking, and grinned when Matheus slid the plate of crab cakes in front of him. The conversation took another turn, but I frowned when Matheus smiled weakly and focused his eyes on the tabletop; normally, he was as unfazed by the heavy teasing that went on within the group as anyone else. Edward must have noticed his shift in mood though, because when Matheus excused himself to go the bar, Edward stood too and followed his friend.

"What's that about?" Malice asked thoughtfully.

I watched the two men walking to the other side of the room and shook my head. "I'm not sure. Is ... did Matheus really do that? Pick up some random at a bar on Edward's birthday?" I licked my lips, working to keep my voice neutral.

Malice grimaced delicately. "Yeah. That was the last straw for Edward, from what Mats told me; they broke up a few days later." She cocked her head and gave me a knowing look as her words clicked. "You know that they never really agreed about the open relationship thing; I guess Mats finally crossed a line with Edward. I wasn't sure if you'd remember, Gar; you went back to Portland around the same time."

"I was working on Ed's birthday last year, and I couldn't make it to the birthday party. I found out they'd broken up _after_ I came back home from that trip, too, and I had no idea that that was the reason for the breakup."

"Mats still feels badly about it,"

"Really? A year later?"

Malice sipped her martini and together we watched the two men talking quietly while they waited for their drinks. Edward and Matheus's shoulders were brushing and their expressions were earnest, but for the most part, relaxed.

"Mats knows it was a shitty thing to do. Edward didn't like that his boyfriend screwed around, but he was good to Mats. I was surprised they made as long as they did to be honest.

"A lot of guys might not stay friends after something like that, and especially working together." Alice smiled gently. "They figured it out, though, even after you swept Ed off his feet, Gar."

My eyes widened in surprise. "Me? I'm not a sweep them off their feet kind of guy, Mal."

She laughed gently. "Is that what you think? Well, don't tell Edward; he was pretty much gone on you by the time you'd been in the bar half a dozen times."

Bella joined in giggling at me when my face flushed. "Yeah. I didn't know, for-fucking-ever it seems. He never said anything to me," I said.

"Ed plays his cards close to his vest," Bella agreed. "He's like a ninja when he sets his mind on keeping something to himself. I figure that when these idiots start getting married, Edward's just going to walk into the bar one day and say, 'Hey. Garr and I flew to Vegas and got married over the weekend. What's tonight's beer special?'"

Malice and I fell against each other laughing at Bella's impression of Edward's voice but I cocked my head curiously at her words. "Do these guys talk about getting married?"

"Jas and Alec do sometimes," Bella said, "but I think it'll be a long time before we hear something like that out of Matheus; he can't even date a guy for longer than eight weeks, for Christ's sake."

Malice nodded and then smiled slyly. "He's been making eyes at the new guy, Riley, though; no surprise there."

"No?" I felt a rush of guilty pleasure at our shameless gossiping.

"Riley kind of reminds me of Edward," Malice said. "Sweet and handsome, and really smart under the jokey facade. Riley's a little tougher than Edward though; if push comes to shove, he won't put up with Mats's bullshit."

"Basically, they're perfect for each other," Bella declared, clinking her glass against Malice's. "They just don't know it yet. Edward, however, is perfect for you and you for him." She sipped her drink before speaking again. "If you hadn't already been married, I think Edward would have proposed by now."

I blinked in surprise. "Really?"

"Yep," Alice replied smartly. "Hey, we all know you're not really sold on marriage after everything that happened with your ex; you've been open about it, Gar."

"It's funny, too," Bella said as we all turned to watch Edward and Matheus walking back from the bar. "I never would have pegged Edward as the marrying type. He's always seemed pretty happy just doing his own thing, boyfriend or not." Bella's eyes flicked back to me and she nodded approvingly. "With you, though, Garrett ... I don't know. I guess he finally met the right man."

ooOOoo

After parents and uncles and aunts had gone home, what was left of the wedding party headed for Masen's, where Riley and the other relief bartenders were holding down the fort. We settled in among the patrons, buying each other rounds while we watched the Sox and abused our rights to the iPod playlists.

I rolled my eyes when The Wanted's _I'm Glad You Came_ started over the speakers and Riley let out a piercing whistle from across the room. Alice and Edward jumped to their feet and began pulling people out of their chairs, ignoring protests and groans while the bar crowd started showing interest in their antics.

"Edward, I hate this song," I grumbled as he hauled me up, aware that I was whining and laughing when his face pulled down in a mock pout.

"Don't be like that, baby," he coaxed over the music, his fingers warm against my waist. "You hum this song for hours every time you hear it. And besides, it's been forever since we've gone dancing!"

In seconds, nearly everyone was either on their feet dancing, or singing along to the music. The energy in the bar soared as people stomped and clapped, and a cheer went up when Matheus and Riley hopped on top of the bar. They stepped in close, their handsome faces creased with smiles as they danced and the bikers in the corner cheerfully pelted them with cocktail peanuts. Bella and Malice swung past us, their arms slung around each other's waists, and Rosalie shrieked with laughter when Emmett dipped her backward.

Edward and I rocked back and forth as the chaos swirled around us, and he threw back his head with a laugh when I finally raised my arms over my head and whooped.

"Drunken Garrett for the win!" he yelled, flailing briefly when I pulled him in for a kiss.

"Goddamn it, you're cute," I told him when we pulled apart. "I draw the line at dipping, though. Don't you dare!"

Edward's eyes shone. My chest tightened as I watched him, reading the love and simple happiness on his face. "Aha! Bonus points for Bossy Garrett!"

"Must be your lucky night, sweetheart."

Edward just smiled and pulled me close, the smell of his cologne and clean, sweet skin filling my nose. He pressed his mouth close to my ear as we danced, and I smiled as he sang. " _My universe will never be the same. I'm glad you came. I'm glad you came_."

I bit my lip, marveling at the way this man could make something sweet and meaningful out of even the most saccharine moments. I wound my arms around his neck, pressed my cheek against his, and held on.

ooOOoo

Edward and I did nothing in particular for the next two days but spend time with one another. We slept late and had coffee in bed before Linus forced us to take him out. We spent time on the roof deck with margaritas, books, and our guitars. We cooked our favorite summer foods and had long Scrabble matches, taking turns messing with each other's tiles whenever either of us got up to use the bathroom or get something from the kitchen. We talked, taking particular care to discuss the stress I'd been feeling since Patriot's Day and Edward's efforts at severing his ties to Elizabeth while keeping a connection to Tanya and Irina.

Our lovemaking was charged with a different kind of intensity that ramped up not only our pleasure, but the connection between us. The feelings that had been simmering at Bella and Malice's wedding became ironclad. My apprehensions about marriage since divorcing Kate were simply gone. I felt centered instead, and certain. I wanted to ask Edward to marry me. I needed to hear him say 'yes' ... or even 'no' if that's how he felt, but above all to give him the chance to respond. So when Edward took Linus to the dog park on Saturday afternoon, I made a trip across town to the Back Bay and returned home with a little blue box wrapped with white ribbon in my pocket.

I found Edward in our bed, warm and rumpled from a nap, his big eyes still sleepy as he watched me strip off my clothes before I crawled in beside him.

"You get whatever you needed?" he asked, one hand coming up to caress the side of my face when I lay down beside him.

"Yeah, all set." I hummed as he pulled me close, squirming slightly when his cock brushed my upper thigh. "Missed me, hm?"

"Maybe a little. I knew you'd be back, though," he replied, his fingers moving to trace the shape of my lips before he leaned in to kiss me.

The kiss deepened quickly, and I grunted softly when Edward rolled on top of me, his tongue sliding against mine. I moved my hands along the smooth skin of his back, pulling him down and smiling when he pressed his hard on into mine with a low hum.

"I guess you missed me, too," he murmured, grinding against me in a slow, tantalizing way that he knew would drive me crazy.

"Yeah," I said breathlessly, "and if you'd still been sleeping, I'd have fucked you awake."

Edward groaned and pressed his forehead to mine. "I could go back to sleep?"

"Uh-uh." I shook my head slowly.

"Let me make it up to you, then."

He bore down hard against me, the weight of his body sending fire racing under my skin as I tried but failed to stifle a gasp. "Yeah. Please, Ed."

We kissed deeply, tongues and teeth clashing; both of us were breathing hard when Edward pulled away. I watched his lean muscles flex as he reached for the nightstand, and my hand seemed to move of its own accord, drifting down to wrap around my dick. Edward licked his lips when he turned back, and a flush spread across his neck and chest as he watched me.

"You want to finish like that?" He asked, his voice was rough with desire as he palmed himself, and his eyes narrowed when I shook my head.

"Fuck no." I ground out, slowing the stroking motion of my hand to let him know it was all for show. "I want you inside me."

Edward popped the cap on the lube with a grin, relishing his turn to tease. His cool, wet fingers rubbed and rolled over and inside me, turning me into a cursing, thrashing mess in no time. I had to close my eyes when he pulled his hands away to slick his cock with lube, aware that I was on the verge of losing it before we'd even really begun.

"Jesus, Garrett" he muttered as he pushed inside me.

Heat flooded through my body as it stretched and burned, the mix of pleasure edged with pain scrambling my thoughts so that I couldn't answer except to moan. I heard Edward's sharp intake of breath and forced my eyes open as he rocked forward to slide deeper as the burn became a low, maddening throb. Edward bent forward, propping his elbows outside of my shoulders and sliding his hands around my head as he kissed me. He shuddered when I raised my knees and wrapped my legs around his waist, and I ran my hands over his back and shoulders, digging my fingers into his muscles.

The sounds of our bodies moving together filled the air, pierced by gasps and murmurs as our pleasure flared and grew. Edward drove into me, obeying my muttered pleas for more, while I rocked my hips up to meet him, our movements quickly becoming desperate. At last he leaned onto one elbow, reaching between us with his right hand to curl his fingers around me, and his hitching breaths told me that he was close.

"Please," I heard myself say again, unsure of what I wanted but knowing that I needed more.

Edward's back arched when he came and he let out a long moan that went right through me. Neither of us stopped moving as he climaxed, and the weight of his body on top of mine paired with his strong, sure fingers pushed me over the edge. Edward kissed me breathlessly while I pulsed into his fist, his touch grounding me as I floated slowly back to earth.

"Tell me the dog is not at the foot of the bed staring at us again," he mumbled a little while later, and I felt his cheek pull up in a smile against my shoulder when I laughed.

"He was snoozing on the couch when I let myself in," I said, "but I give it ten seconds before he shows up looking for dinner."

"I suppose we'd better get up then," Edward said, raising his head to peer at me curiously. "Are you gonna tell me where you just had to go today?"

I nodded and pushed the damp hair back from his forehead. "Of course. Eventually." I meant it, too; I wanted to ask Edward to marry me before his birthday was over. I just hadn't figured out yet _how_ to ask.

Edward's lips pushed out in a pout as he crawled up onto all fours. "Fine. Keep your secret, Gar; you know I'll worm it out of you eventually."

The clicking of Linus's claws on the hardwood floor stopped our banter, but we were smiling as we climbed out of bed to clean up and get dressed.

ooOOoo

It was overcast on Sunday, so we got the car out to drive to Revere Beach for the fried clams Edward had been craving. We ordered a seafood feast at Kelly's Roast Beef and sat under one of the sun shelters to eat, while Linus napped at our feet and the ring box burned a hole in my pocket. The usually jam-packed sands were sparsely populated, dotted here and there with diehards trying to soak up the weak rays, and the beach was wonderfully quiet, filled almost solely by the sounds of the surf and low wind.

"Sorry the sun's not out for your birthday," I said as I aimed a forkful of fried sea scallop into a cup of tartar sauce.

Edward shrugged and smiled. "I'm not. This is really nice. I don't have to shout over the sound of a thousand car stereos to hear myself think."

"And what are you thinking so hard about?"

"Nothing. Everything." Edward's eyes moved from mine to look out at the beach again. "How much some things have changed in a year, while some have stayed the same."

"Do you always get existential like this on your birthday?" I asked, keeping my voice low so that Edward knew my words weren't purely teasing.

Edward nodded slowly. "Sometimes. I certainly did some heavy thinking on my last birthday," he said, laughing softly as he turned to look at me again. "I'm good this year, though. This birthday has been low on the drama."

"Without being boring?"

Edward shook his head and dropped a forkful of lobster roll into his mouth, rubbing his chest through his Wu-Tang t-shirt as he chewed and swallowed. "Bored? I don't have time to be bored while I'm busy crushing you to dust playing Scrabble."

Just like that, I knew exactly how I wanted to give Edward the ring. I couldn't help snorting loudly at his cocky words though. "You're such a pain in the ass."

"You need to work on the way you say 'Happy Birthday' to a guy, Garrett. Jeeze."

"Happy Birthday, you pain in the ass. I love you."

"Much better. I love you, too, baby."

ooOOoo

Edward rolled his eyes when I pulled out the Scrabble box after we got home. He went to the kitchen for some beers while I was fishing tiles out of the bag, and my heart jumped as I reached for the ring box.

"Can I get lime in my beer, please?" I asked, racing with nervous fingers to put everything into place as I'd imagined.

"Sure, sure. Don't look at my tiles, Garrett!" Edward called over the sound of bottle caps popping. "You really should learn to quit while you're ahead, you know. Not that you've been ahead with the games, mind you."

"Oh, shut up, you. Listen, we don't have to be at your parents' house for hours. What better way to wish you a 'Happy Birthday' than to let you beat me at Scrabble, maybe get a little drunk, and then take a nap before we go for dinner?"

"Mmm, that does sound nice," Edward said as he walked around the kitchen island, a beer in each hand and a sexy smirk on his face. "Feel free to wake me up with your dick whenever the mood strikes you, by the way."

I smiled and took the beer he offered me but my heart was hammering too hard to allow me speak. All I could do was watch Edward take his seat and look at the rack containing six Scrabble tiles spelling ' _LOVE YOU_ ' with a simple platinum band resting in place of the second _'O'_.

Edward grew very still as he stared at the rack. Moving carefully, he put down his beer bottle, and reached to trace the top of the ring with one finger. He looked almost dazed when he lifted his eyes to meet mine, and his Adam's apple bobbed as he swallowed, seeming, for once, to truly be at a loss for words.

Putting down my own beer, I scooted along the couch, moving closer to Edward and taking his free hand. "Edward?"

He blinked at the word, his fingers tightening reflexively around mine as he nodded, and licked his lips when I reached to pluck the ring from the rack.

"I've been thinking, too. About us. About how much has changed since you came into my life." I rubbed his fingers gently, grinning when Edward smiled at last. "I don't see myself with anyone else, ever."

"I feel that way, too," he murmured, his cheeks flushing pink as we watched one another.

I nodded, glancing down at the gleaming band between my fingers and then back at Edward. "I think we should tell everyone that we feel that way. I think we should get married."

"You do?" Edward's smile and voice were slightly shaky, but his eyes were shining as bright as I'd ever seen and I felt as though my heart might explode.

"Yes, I do. I love you, Edward. Will you marry me?"

"Yes," he said, nodding as his smile grew wider. "Yes, I will."

"Oh, thank God," I said in a rush that made us both laugh.

I raised my hands to cup Edward's face and remembered the band I was still holding between my fingers. Then I remembered the matching band I'd bought for myself that was still in my pocket and pulled it out, which only made us laugh harder. Taking Edward's left hand in mine, I slid the band over his ring finger and then held my breath as he pushed the other band over my knuckle. My heart thundered in my ears as I looked at the bright gleam of white alloy against our skins, and I pulled Edward close, overwhelmed by my feelings. The moment felt more right and true than any I had ever expected before and I heard myself whisper 'thank you' without thought of the words ever forming in my head.

Edward turned his head to bury his face against my neck. "I love you, Gar," he said, his quiet words soothing me like a balm.

This time, when my hands rose to cup Edward's jaw there was nothing to stop me from kissing him. His lips were warm and soft, lingering on mine as I closed my eyes and let myself fall into the pleasure I knew so well. I caught Edward's lower lip between my teeth then swallowed his sigh as he wound his arms around me. His tongue slid between my lips, making me groan as I opened my mouth against his and slid my hands into his hair.

Our hearts raced and our hands roamed, drawing soft noises from one another. We were breathing hard when we finally broke apart, and laughing as we fell back together against the couch.

"This isn't some kind of elaborate plan to get out of losing at Scrabble again, is it?" Edward grinned when I shook my head.

"Not at all, sweetheart; the ass kicking can start whenever you want. And this proposal is definitely on the up and up, I promise."

Edward's smile was blinding. "Then tonight is definitely my lucky night, baby."

~fin~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aaaaand, sigh. I'll miss these guys. I've decided the only solution is to write more Garrett/Edward. Poor me. LOL
> 
> Thank you very much for reading, and sticking it out with me.
> 
> I'm posting an Edward/Emmett drabble called One Summer Night, linked on my profile.
> 
> Notes:
> 
> The CharlieCard is a stored value smart card used for electronic ticketing Massachusetts Bay Transportation Authority (MBTA) at its stations and on its vehicles.
> 
> Boston Public Garden is a large park in the center of Boston, adjacent to the Boston Commons. The pond in the park hosts a small fleet of pleasure boats called Swan Boats. The boats are powered by the operators, who pedal from paddleboxes concealed by large, white swans.
> 
> The Wanted are an English-Irish boy bad.
> 
> Revere Beach is a public beach in Revere, Massachusetts, located about 4 miles north of downtown Boston.
> 
> Kelly's Roast Beef is a regional fast-food chain in the Boston area; its flagship store is located on Revere Beach. I hear they serve dynamite roast beef sandwiches, but I've never eaten it – I'm always too busy eating the fried seafood which is to die for.
> 
> Scrabble is a word game in which two to four players score points by forming words from individual lettered tiles on a gameboard marked with a 15×15 grid. I got the idea for the Scrabble proposal from a photo I saw on tumblr.
> 
> The Wu-Tang Clan is an American East Coast hip hop group from Staten Island, New York.


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